Saturday, December 30, 2023

Happy New Year!

The start of the new year is only a few days away, and I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year's Eve.

And that you don't attract the attention of an unwanted slasher!

I've been pretty busy this week working to fill the Horror/Sci Fi/Fantasy Calendar, so you can start planning what to do in 2024.  I've got news on cons taking place in the summer months, and some of the announced guests are AMAZING.  Also, I'll be adding info on a Valentine's Day haunted attraction very soon (the first of several, I assume).  So you'll want to keep checking back.

As for the Weekly Update, most of the events are films, but it's a wide range of genre classics and a new Blumhouse/Atomic Monster horror film opening next weekend.  Oh, and The Portland Horror Trivia Massacre takes place this coming Tuesday.  Just take a look below and I think you'll agree that 2024 is starting strong for Pacific Northwest Horror/Sci Fi/Fantasy Fans!

Well, have to head back to the day job.  Stay safe this weekend, and I'll be back next Friday (or Saturday) with another Weekly Update from The Shadow Over Portland.

Happening This Week

Live Attractions 

Strangest Things Haunted Farm (8917 Sprague Rd in Eugene, OR) opens its 2023 Christmas Haunt tonight.  The attraction is open Friday and Saturday, December 15, 16, 22 and 23, with a final chance to get scared on Saturday, December 30.

The Halloween Cultural Preservation Museum closes for good after Sunday, December 31.  The museum is located in Lloyd Center (2201 Lloyd Center in Portland, OR), on the second floor inside the former Spenser's, next to Brickdeculous.  Admission is $5 to $8.

Hidden Worlds: The Films of LAIKA is open at the Museum of Pop Culture (located in the Seattle Center; 325 5th Ave N in Seattle, WA).  The exhibit features never-before-seen artifacts from the Laika production studios, immersive set displays, character interactive and a sneak peek at the studio's next feature, Wildwood.  The exhibit will be open through Summer 2024.
 
The Museum of Pop Culture (325 5th Ave N in Seattle, WA) has Jim Henson puppets and set pieces from the 2019 Netflix series The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance on display now.  You can read about the display, and the work the museum put into displaying the artifacts, at the link.

Back in Theaters

Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange is playing at the Academy Theatre (7818 SE Stark St in Portland, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 4).

Christopher Nolan's Interstellar is playing at the Academy Theatre (7818 SE Stark St in Portland, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 4).

The Lord of the Rings Week at the Kenworthy Performing Arts Centre (508 S Main St in Moscow, ID) is showing the extended versions of each film through Friday, December 29, with a full day marathon on Thursday, December 28.  Visit the link for details and showtimes.

The Hollywood Theatre (4122 NE Sandy Blvd in Portland, OR) will show Stanley Kubrick's sci fi classic 2001: A Space Odyssey in GLORIOUS 70mm through Saturday, December 30.  Look, if you haven't see the film is this format, do not miss this opportunity if you can see it.  It's just hypnotic.

First Run Features  

Poor Things, based on Alasdair Gray's novel about a young woman who is resurrected after her suicide to embark on an odyssey of self-discovery and sexual liberation, is playing at Cinema 21 (616 NW 21st Ave in Portland, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 4), the Hollywood Theatre (4122 NE Sandy Blvd in Portland, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 4), The Grand Cinema (606 Fawcett Ave in Tacoma, WA; scheduled through Thursday, January 4), SIFF Cinema Egyptian (805 E Pine St in Seattle, WA; scheduled through Thursday, January 4), the Metro Cinemas (888 Willamette St in Eugene, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 4), the Laurelhurst Theater (2735 E Burnside St in Portland, OR; scheduled through Thursday, Thursday, January 4), the Pickford Film Center (1318 Bay St in Bellingham, WA; scheduled through Thursday, January 4),  the Living Room Theaters (341 SW 10th Ave in Portland, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 4), Studio One (3945 SE Powell Blvd in Portland, OR; scheduled through Wednesday, January 3), and the Salem Cinema (1127 Broadway St NE in Salem, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 4).

Hayao Miyazaki's latest animated feature, The Boy and the Heron, is playing at Cinema 21 (616 NW 21st Ave in Portland, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 4), the Laurelhurst Theater (2735 E Burnside St in Portland, OR; scheduled through Thursday, Thursday, January 4), SIFF Cinema Uptown (511 Queen Anne Ave N in Seattle, WA; scheduled through Thursday, January 4), the Hollywood Theater (4122 NE Sandy Blvd in Portland, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 4), the Darkside Cinema (215 SW 4th St in Corvallis, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 4), the Academy Theatre (7818 SE Stark St in Portland, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 4), The Grand Cinema (606 Fawcett Ave in Tacoma, WA; scheduled through Thursday, January 4), the North Bend Theatre (125 Bendigo Blvd N in North Bend, WA; scheduled through Saturday, December 30), and the St Johns Twin Cinema (8704 N Lombard St in Portland, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 4).  Please check the links to find out if the dubbed or subtitled version is playing at the theater near you.

The dark comedy fantasy Dream Scenario, starring Nicolas Cage, is playing at the Metro Cinemas (888 Willamette St in Eugene, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 4), and the Capitol Theater (206 5th Ave SE in Olympia, WA; scheduled through Thursday, January 4).

The film opens on Tuesday, December 26, at the Rio Theatre (1660 East Broadway in Vancouver, BC; scheduled through Friday, December 29).

Film Festival Submission Information 
 
The Northwest Flying Saucer Film Festival returns to McFiler's Chehalis Theater (558 N Market Blvd in Chehalis, WA) this September, and will begin accepting submissions of UFO themed shorts, documentaries, animations or music videos from Northwest filmmakers on January 1.  Deadline is August 18, 2024.

The BoneBat Comedy of Horrors Film Fest 2024, taking place on Saturday, April 13, 2024, at the SIFF Cinema Egyptian (805 E Pine St in Seattle, WA) is now accepting submissions through Friday, March 1.  Visit the link for details.

December, 2023    

Saturday, December 30

The last screening for 2023 at the Clinton Street Theater (2522 SE Clinton St in Portland, OR) is the Swedish vampire film Let the Right One In, presented by Queer Screams Film Festival, tonight at 7 pm.  Tickets are on sale now.

The Rio Theatre (1660 East Broadway in Vancouver, BC) is showing The Dark Crystal today at 11:45 pm, and on Monday, January 1, at 1:45 pm.

Neil Breen's sci fi film Cade: The Tortured Crossing is playing at The Grand Illusion Cinema (1403 NE 50th St in Seattle, WA) tonight at 9:15 pm.

The mini-Carpenter Fest at Central Cinema (1411 21st Ave in Seattle, WA) concludes with his sci fi/horror classic, The Thing, with screenings tonight and tomorrow at 7 and 9:30 pm.

Sunday, December 31

The Social Cinema series at the PAM CUT Tomorrow Theater (3530 SE Division St in Portland, OR) brings Ghostbusters II back to the big screen tonight at 6 pm.  It seems fitting, as the film takes place on New Years Eve.  The Portland Ghostbusters will kick off the evening with some pre-show fun.  Doors open at 5 pm.

January, 2024

Monday, January 1

The Rio Theatre (1660 East Broadway in Vancouver, BC) will show Terry Gilliam's sci fi classic 12 Monkeys today at 3:50 pm.

The Rio Theatre (1660 East Broadway in Vancouver, BC) will show Stanley Kubrick's The Shining tonight at 9:30 pm.

It's a Kurt Russell Snowed-In Double Feature at the Hollywood Theatre (4122 NE Sandy Blvd in Portland, OR) with a screening of the John Carpenter classic The Thing in GLORIOUS 35mm, followed by a screening of The Hateful Eight in GLORIOUS 70mm.  It all starts at 3 pm.

Tuesday, January 2

The Portland Horror Trivia Massacre starts off the New Year at Home, A Bar (719 SE Morrison St in Portland, OR) tonight at 7:30 pm.

The CMNYK Science Fiction Extravaganza at the Darkside Cinema (215 SW 4th St in Corvallis, OR) will screen the North Korean Kaiju film Pulgasari tonight at 7 pm.  Preshow starts at 6:15 pm.

Wednesday, January 3

The Whiteside Theatre (361 SW Madison Ave in Corvallis, OR) will screen the zombie rom/com Shaun of the Dead tonight at 7 pm.

The Reel Oddities series at the Capitol Theater (206 5th Ave SE in Olympia, WA) will screen John Carpenter's Big Trouble in Little China tonight and Wednesday, January 10 and 31, at 7 pm.

Thursday, January 4

The haunted pool film Night Swim opens tonight at the Laurelhurst Theater (2735 E Burnside St in Portland, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 11), the Tracyton Movie House (1520 NE Riddell Rd in Bremerton, WA; scheduled through Thursday, January 11), the Sandy Cinema (16605 Champion Way in Sandy, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 11), and the Yelm Cinema (201 Prairie Park St SE in Yelm, WA; scheduled through Thursday, January 11).

The Hollywood Theatre (4122 NE Sandy Blvd in Portland, OR) will show John Carpenter's sci fi/horror classic The Thing in GLORIOUS 35mm tonight at 7:30 pm.

The Rio Theatre (1660 East Broadway in Vancouver, BC) will show The Abyss: Special Edition tonight at 6:15 pm, and on Sunday, January 7, at 8:45 pm.

Friday, January 5

VHS Night at CineMagic (2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd in Portland, OR) will show Larry Cohen's Q - The Winged Serpent tonight at 10 pm in GLORIOUS VHS.  VHS trailers start at 9:30 pm.

The French adult sci fi animated classic Fantastic Planet is playing at the Academy Theatre (7818 SE Stark St in Portland, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 11).

The sci fi classic Forbidden Planet is playing at the Academy Theatre (7818 SE Stark St in Portland, OR; scheduled through Thursday, January 11).

The Wizard of Oz is playing today at 7 pm, and tomorrow at 2 pm, at the Egyptian Theatre (229 S Broadway in Coos Bay, OR).

The Rio Theatre (1660 East Broadway in Vancouver, BC) is showing the sci fi cult classic The Fifth Element tonight at 11:30 pm.

The Empirical Theater at OMSI (1945 SE Water Ave in Portland, OR) will show The Lord of the Rings trilogy, screening one film a day until Sunday, January 7.  This is an encore screening, as the December screenings were SOLD OUT.

The rom/com sci fi musical Earth Girls are Easy is playing at Central Cinema (1411 21st Ave in Seattle, WA; scheduled through Tuesday, January 9).

Saturday, January 6

The Sprocket Society brings back The Saturday Secret Matinee to The Grand Illusion Cinema (1403 NE 50th St in Seattle, WA) running through Saturday, March 30.  Every show starts with an episode of the serial Flash Gordon's Trip to Mars, followed by a secret classic feature, all in GLORIOUS 16mm.  And yes, you can purchase a series pass.  Check the link for hints of the features to be shown.

The Rio Theatre (1660 East Broadway in Vancouver, BC) will show the entire extended versions of The Lord of the Rings trilogy today starting at 11 am.  You can come in costume, or in comfy PJs, and be prepared for trivia, games prizes and MORE!

The 4K restoration of James Cameron's The Abyss: Special Edition is playing at The Grand Illusion Cinema (1403 NE 50th St in Seattle, WA; scheduled through Wednesday, January 10).

The Beacon (4405 Rainier Ave S in Seattle, WA) will screen the shot-on-video horror film from Mark and John Polonia, Hallucinations tonight at 9:30 pm.  Be prepared for a wild night, as the film contains a slasher, severed limbs and, well, a giant penis monster lurking in the shower.

As part of the monthly Studio Ghibli series, the Pickford Film Center (1318 Bay St in Bellingham, WA) will screen Princess Mononoke through Wednesday, January 10.

Steven Spielberg's classic Jaws is playing at Cinema 21 (616 NW 21st Ave in Portland, OR) today at 11 am.

The Hollywood Theatre (4122 NE Sandy Blvd in Portland, OR) is screening the cannibalistic black comedy Delicatessen tonight and tomorrow night at 7 pm.

Sunday, January 7

The OFS Kids Club series at the Capitol Theater (206 5th Ave SE in Olympia, WA) will show The NeverEnding Story today, and Sunday, January 14 and 21, at 1 pm.  Kids 12 and under are admitted FREE.

Monday, December 25, 2023

Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)

Okay, unless you're a Christmas slasher fan, Don't Open Till Christmas might be the gift left unwrapped under the tree.  Released the same year as Silent Night, Deadly Night, the production was...

Oh, really, Chris.  I thought you hit the bottom of the barrel with Jack Frost 2, but you're really sinking now.  

Hey, you didn't even let me get to the review.

Okay, you got me.  I'm just here to remind you that you've only reviewed 6 Holiday films, and you're running out of time.

Yeah, I know.  But I've done a good amount of reviews this month, so give me a break.  I'm calling that a win.

Well, that is true.  Carry on.  I'll be back for the next one.

Hey, it'll be after Christmas.  Don't you, like, hibernate or something?

Nope.  See ya.

I can't wait.  Anyway, released the same year as Silent Night, Deadly Night, this film didn't generate the same amount of outrage.  I assume the reason was it wasn't widely advertised or theatrically released.  And the plot is about a masked killer dicing up men dressed as Santa, rather than a killer dressed as Santa, so it might have let it slip under the radar of the moral crusaders in the 80s.

Trying to describe the plot feels pointless, other than to say a masked killer is stalking the streets of London, slashing up any man dressed as Santa.  We have Kate (Belinda Mayne), who's father is dressed as Santa, and dies in front of her, her boyfriend Cliff (Gerry Sundquist), who becomes a suspect, Chief Inspector Harris of Scotland Yard (director Edmund Purdom), who also becomes a suspect after being removed from the case, and Detective Sergeant Powell (Mark Jones), trying to figure it all out.  Oh, and a sex worker, Sherry (Kelly Baker), witnesses one of the murders and is kidnapped later in the film by the killer.

Oh, that's gotta hurt.

You might have noticed I mention the killer attacks men dressed as Santa.  And it's because the killer encounters a porn model, Sharon (Pat Astley), barely dressed as Santa, and lets her go.  The problem is, she saw him in his mask, as did Sherry, but he doesn't come after her as he does Sherry, for reasons never fully explained.

It might have been Sharon's boobs.  Just saying, as the film implies it.

It's not that the killer is picky.  I think it has to do with the film's troubled production.  Filming started in December of 1982, but conflicts between the producers and director/star Purdom caused multiple delays.  Purdom quit the production, leading to writer Derek Ford and editor Ray Selfie taking separate stabs at directing.

With Purdom's departure, rewrites and multiple reshoots were needed, leading to recasting of characters as the original actors were unavailable.  Purdom eventually returned, adding to the confusion.  I don't envy Selfie's job, as it's evident he did the best he could to make a coherent film with the footage he was given.  Cliff basically vanishes, the potential romance between Harris and Kate leads nowhere, even as she finds reason to suspect him as the killer.  And the kidnapping of Sherry feels like it was added to bring the film to a close, though the original ending was included when Purdom returned to the production.  

And here I get into SPOILERS.  So skip the next paragraph, though I don't think it matters much.


Okay, Sherry escapes the killer, and runs through a beautiful apartment complex.  Yet no one opens their doors to see why a woman is screaming in the hallway, and a body falls down to the first floor.  And Harris' demise from opening a gift from his brother makes no sense.  Sure, we get a flashback explaining the killer's hatred of Santa, but it's from Harris' point of view.  It would have worked better had he been the killer, but I suspect the production issues kept this from happening.

Not gonna spoil it, but it makes no sense and ends on a fade out.  Nuff said.

I will say, the kills are inventive and pretty gory, including an emasculation in a bathroom.  Ouch.  But even the addition of Caroline Munro (billed as herself) performing a musical number interrupted by another murder, can't elevate this film beyond a lump of coal.  Maybe, without the issues during its production, Don't Open till Christmas could have been a decent holiday slasher.  But I suspect you'll feel like returning this gift on December 26.

Oh, signing onto this film might have been a mistake.