Final Destination 3 (2006)

As Final Destination 2 opened on January of 2003, talks were underway for bringing the franchise to a close with a final film.  James Wong returned as director and, with writing partner Glen Morgan, sought to re-infuse the franchise with the atmosphere of dread and paranoia from the original film.  It’s evident with the opening credits of Final Destination 3, as the audience is treated to a CGI tour of a creepy carnival that sets the stage for the impending disaster.

But David Ellis’ work on the second film affected this production, as the gore and nudity is amped up beyond the previous entries in the series.  It’s unclear whether this was Wong’s doing, or a demand from the studio.  Regardless of the source, the increased exploitation moments undercut any attempts to return the franchise to its atmosphere-drenched origins.

While this film was intended as the final entry in the franchise, the script doesn’t deviate from the basic plot established by the earlier entries.  In this film, high school senior Wendy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is attending a graduation party at a local carnival.  As she boards the Devil’s Flight rollercoaster, Wendy experiences a vivid premonition of the car derailing, killing everyone on board.

Snapping out of her vision, her attempt to stop the car from leaving the boarding zone, resulting in the attendants releasing the restraints on her section of the cab to escort her out.  Several other students, all stereotypes from an assortment of previous high school movies, to get off as well.  But Wendy’s best friend Carrie and her boyfriend Jason are in a different section of the cab and depart on the ride, which derails as Wendy predicted.

Crappy CGI, here we come!

As you might guess, freak accidents start to claim the survivors.  Wendy finds out about the survivor of Flight 180 through Carrie’s boyfriend Kevin (Ryan Merriman) and starts searching the Internet for more information.  Along the way, she discovers the photos she took at the park holds clues to the fates awaiting each survivor.

Even after the opening credits, one can sense Wong’s attempt at more detailed character development and atmosphere than action.  But his effort doesn’t pay off, as these scenes feel incomplete.  A perfect example is when, before boarding the Devil’s Flight, Carrie tells Wendy she plans to end her relationship with Kevin in a few months.  Then after the accident, Kevin confides in Wendy that he’d plan to propose to Carrie at some point after graduation.  It’s a very human moment, as a person learns secrets that change how she views a person and their relationship, yet this plot point is just dropped.  Sure, Wendy keeps Carrie’s secret, but the script delivers no payoff to Wendy’s, and the audience’s, discovery.

However, Wong does develop Wendy’s feelings of paranoia concerning foes both seen and unseen well, playing off moments from the original film.  Wendy keeps hearing one song before another accident occurs, a wind that seems to have no point of origin keeps occurring around her.  Windtead’s performance is very good, conveying the sense of paranoia experienced by the main character that was missing from the second film.

But Final Destination 3 fails on several counts.  First, the CGI in the opening disaster is unrealistic.  Wong allows characters to defy the basic laws of physics to introduce a “cool” shot, fracturing the audience’s suspension of disbelief and making the sequence look more like a Looney Tunes Cartoon than a horror film.

What do you mean, I'm defying the laws of physics?  I never studied law.

The film also includes a prolonged nude sequence, as two female survivors visit a tanning salon, which ends up being the site of their demise.  This bit might be forgivable, but one can’t suspect Wong is criticizing his audience with the inclusion of Freddie (Sam Easton), a previous graduate who is trying to score footage of topless women at the park during the opening act.  He follows the two women, actually stereotypical valley girls, onto the Devil’s Flight, hoping to convince them to flash him, and his camera, during the ride.  This obnoxious character (well played by Easton) seems a rather shallow attempt by Wong to shame horror fans looking for more skin in the franchise.  And once the girls disrobe in the tanning salon, the most prolonged nude sequence in the franchise, it appears Wong is rewarding the Freddie’s in horror fandom for their persistence.  At least until the unlucky pair are set ablaze in the tanning booths, causing one to wonder whether Wong wants to punish the fanboys for demanding such a display, or the women who cater to such demands.

Wait, fanboy vengeance is the only reason I'm nude in this shot?  Where's my agent?!?!

Sexual politics aside, Freddie also delivers a fatal blow to the script in the opening disaster.  But, to get into that, I will tread into MAJOR SPOILER TERRITORY for the next three paragraphs.  You have been warned.

During Wendy’s premonition, the audience sees every detail of the accident, including the events that set the accident in motion.  We get a scene where the brake lines on the car start leaking, as an attendant forces a restraining device into place on one of the riders.  But, the ride might not have ended in a derailment had Freddie not been aboard.

Stalking the two valley girls, Freddie boards the Devil’s Flight behind them, hiding his video camera from the attendants.  As the car goes into a series of loops, he revels his camera and shouts for the girls to, “Show me your titties!”  As before, they are repulsed by his actions and one knocks the camera out of his hand.  Falling onto the tracks in front of the car, the camera causes the brake line to rupture, leading to the eventual derailment.

The problem is, once Wendy comes out of her premonition, snaps out of it, Freddie follows the two valley girls off the ride, taking his camera with him.  With Freddie off the ride, his camera will not be knocked loose (and, after all, the girl who knocks it out of his hand is off the ride as well), inferring the accident would not happen without this final trigger.  It’s a staggering moment of sloppy writing and, as it appears early in the script, makes the rest of the movie suspect for any audience member looking for more than blood and boobs.

So, we are in the sequel, right?

Another problem error is the script ignores the survivors from the second film.  While the events surrounding Flight 180 are referenced, along with the accident from the second movie, it seems strange the only people who thwarted Death are never mentioned.  Though the survivors might not fit into Wong’s original idea for the series, that one can not cheat Death in the end, a brief mention of their deaths, as the death of Alex is referenced in Part 2, would have cleared up this plot hole. 

Despite these flaws, the kills are pretty good and the build up to most of the deaths are more Rube Goldberg-est than the second film, and thus more suspenseful.  And while the ending seems rather lackluster for the conclusion of a series, it works pretty well to sum up Wong and Morgan’s ultimate statement, that Death will never be cheated out of its prize.

But as long as writers can concoct bizarre ways for people to die, you know the Final Destination franchise will continue.  So rev up your engines as the series takes on 3D and tries to blow you out of your theater seat.

Well, at least I have The Thing prequel to look forward to....

Warm Bodies (2013)

Zombie fans needn’t shun Warm Bodies for fear of the sparkling undead infecting the genre.  Though the film is more romantic comedy than horror film, and not the cross over film some people proclaim it to be, Warm Bodies is a great date film to share with non-horror fan partners.  The movie is quite charming for the most part, and not the travesty suggested by the trailers.

The film opens with R (Nicholas Hoult) shambling about with his fellow zombies in an airport he considers home.  Through his internal monolog, we find that R has fleeting memories of being alive, though he is no longer able to act human.  He tries to have conversations with fellow zombie M (Rob Corddry), but the best they can manage is a series of grunts, unless they are hungry.

R also fears his ultimate fate is to become a “Bony,” zombies that have ripped off their skin and cast away the last vestige of their humanity.  Though R admits he will eat the living, he feels bad about doing so, unlike the Bonies.

Let the I Am Legend jokes commence!  

Still, the hunger for flesh is a powerful motivator, and R joins M and a few other zombies as the group leaves the airport to forage for food.  Around the same time, a group of humans leave their walled city in search of medical supplies.  The two groups meet and during the battle, R and Julie (Teresa Palmer) lock eyes.  Julie decides not to fill R’s skull with bullets, and R decides not to eat her.  But he has no qualms against eating the brains of Perry (Dave Franco), Julie’s boyfriend.

Through his internal monolog, R explains that eating Perry’s brain will keep his corpse from becoming a zombie, a fate he wouldn’t wish upon anyone.  But R also gets to experience a partial reconnection to humanity by reliving victim’s memories.  And this makes R fall in love with Julie. 

Disguising Julie as a newly reanimated corpse, R takes her back to the airport, where he’s decorated a plane with things that remind him of his humanity.  This includes a pile of vinyl records, allowing the movie to deliver a few musical montages while he rediscovers how to talk and becomes more human than zombie. 

All it took was owning an airplane and a decent collection of LPs to score!

Julie is curious about R’s unzombie-like behavior, but that doesn’t keep her from attempting to rejoin her human community.  During her escape, she is surrounded by group of zombies, including M.  But once R steps up to protect her, the zombie horde loses interest in Julie as a food source and let the couple leave the airport.

As the two get closer to the walled city, Julie abandons R, who heads back to the airport.  Before he arrives, R meets up with M and the other zombies that let him and Julie leave.  In some way, R’s feelings of love towards Julie infected them as well and reawakened their humanity.  Seen as a threat to the zombie hierarchy, the Bonies cast the group out and plan to kill Julie and R.

Accessing Perry’s memories, R sneaks into the human compound to warn Julie of the upcoming attack, setting up a conflict between the Bonies, the evolving zombies and the remaining humans, led by Julie’s father, Grigio (John Malkovich).

Yes, it’s a zombified version of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, complete with the balcony scene.  And as annoying that idea might seem, screenwriter/director Jonathan Levin uses only the basic plot, with enough deviations to keep things interesting.  It’s a refreshing approach when one considers the multiple monster/classic literature rewrites flooding bookstores in recent years.  And while it’s not as original as West Side Story, it works as a charming and inoffensive update much like 10 Things I Hate About You. 

I feel pretty, oh so pretty....  Wait, wrong movie.

It’s unfortunate the familiarity of the tale appears to have prompted Levin to forgo any real character development.  Thanks to his internal monolog, R is the most developed character in the movie.  While M gets a few nice moments, the script never divulges whether he (or the other zombies) has the same intellectual capacity as R.  Malkovich’s Grigio is underdeveloped and underused in the film, as if the actor’s presence is little more than a marketing ploy. 

But the most glaring problem with the script concerns Julie.  Levin never gives her enough time away from R to understand how she could fall in love with a walking corpse, other than it’s dictated by the story..  To be fair, Hoult is the prettiest zombie ever to grace the screen, and he does stop smelling like a rotting corpse as he becomes more human.  But while one could understand Julie’s curiosity over a zombie not wanting to eat her, it’s another thing to fall in love with creature that ate her boyfriend’s brains.

As for the effects, zombie fans shouldn’t expect any gore or gut munching.  Remember, this film is a romantic comedy at its core and a scene with R covered in the blood and flesh of Perry would make the thought of Julie falling in love with him an insurmountable task for the audience.  Levin does get the point across during the film’s only zombie attack against humans, but the moment is shot so we know what R is doing without wallowing in the gruesome details.

Yea, I think this gets the point across that R is looking for a quick bite.

As for the Bonies, the CGI creatures look awful.  I suspect the reason for not using actors in full body makeup is to keep the film’s creepiest zombies looking rather cartoonish, thus ensuring a PG-13 rating.  But this failing is easy to forgive once the zombie horde let by M shows off their “heart lights.”  If you’ve seen the trailer, you no doubt remember this moment, which is not only pointless to the story, but insulting to the audience as well.  The script and the actors do a fine job conveying the idea that R’s love for Julie is awaking the humanity in other zombies as well.  But Levin decided the audience is too dense, or stupid, to understand this and decided to film a roadmap in pretty neon red, rather than assume viewers were smart enough to follow his story to this point.

Despite it’s flaws, Warm Bodies is a fun evening’s entertainment.  Hoult’s performance is quite good, the script moves at a nice pace and delivers several good laughs (the bit where Julie and her friend try to make R look human has the best use of Oh, Pretty Woman in a soundtrack ever).  The script contains a few nice satirical moments and zombie fans will love the nod to Fulci, as he seldom gets any attention in modern zombie films.  And, I must admit, it was nice to see a movie end without any suggestion of an upcoming sequel.  It doesn’t mean one won’t be made, but the film closes with a welcomed certainty missing in most recent genre films.

Wait, you mean Romero isn't the only director of zombie films?

I’m not suggesting zombie fans rush out to see Warm Bodies, or pick it up as a blind buy when it hits home video.  Just keep it in mind if your evening plans include a partner that is not into the genre.  It is not a gateway film, so put aside all pretenses of digging out The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue afterwards.  Just settle back and be grateful for a film that you both can watch, and enjoy, without feeling the nausea you would experience from another Twilight knockoff.

Final Destination 2 (2003)

It surprising that three years passed before a sequel to Final Destination hit the screens, as the film earned over $55 million in the US box office.  New Line Cinema contacted screenwriter Jeffrey Reddick (who wrote the original story as a spec script for The X-Files) for ideas on where to take the sequel.  But with most of the original crew unavailable, stuntman turned director David R. Ellis (Cellular, Snakes on a Plane) was hired to shoot the sequel, from a script co-written by the team of J. Mackye Gruber and Eric Bress.    

The film opens as Kimberly (A. J. Cook) and her friends are preparing to leave for Daytona Beach for spring break.  While waiting to merge on the freeway, Kimberly has a premonition of a catastrophic traffic accident.  As with Alex in the first film, she begins to see events that will take place before the accident and blocks the off ramp to keep those behind her car from getting involved in the wreck.  Though she manages to keep the people behind her vehicle alive, Kimberly’s friends aren’t so lucky and die as a large truck smashes through her car.

This won't end well.

As the survivors are questioned at the local police station, one mentions the events on Flight 180, which happened exactly one year ago.  Dismissing the coincidental timing, the survivors consider themselves lucky for avoiding the disaster, at least until one of them dies in a freakish accident.

Convinced Death is coming for them as It did for the passengers of Flight 180, Kimberly to seek help from Clear Rivers (Ali Larter), the only living Flight 180 survivor, who has committed herself to a padded cell in a psychiatric ward.  Clear refuses to leave the safety of her padded cell, but as the death toll rises, she joins Kimberly in an attempt to break Death’s new cycle and, perhaps, taking herself off the list as well.

After several more freak accidents, the group discovers the course of their lives were altered by survivors of Flight 180 and Death is now cleaning up the mess created by Alex’s vision.  They’re only hope is to figure out the mysterious mortician’s (Tony Todd) vague statement about new life, which was not to be, nullifying Death’s new design.

So I guess I'm in the sequel, right?

Though the script contains a few nice character moments, these are quite brief.  Unlike the opening minutes in James Wong’s film, Kimberly barely interacts with her father.  Most of the other characters are various stereotypes, introduced only to keep the story moving, though this should be obvious when Kimberly and her girlfriend pick up the guys they are traveling with.  These two stoners are so out of place, compared to the girls, that it is obvious their inclusion is only so the scriptwriters can add in a gratuitous nude scene. 

It’s not to say the script doesn’t have has a few nice character moments, but the film is more intent on ramping up the gore and mayhem, and Ellis delivers on that count.  The opening accident is the best in the series, a jaw-dropping scene of vehicular carnage that might be the best car wreck ever staged for a movie.  And the ensuing death scenes are much more dramatic than the preceding film, with bodies being flattened, dismembered and impaled at a stunning pace.  And the effects, a combination of practical effects and CGI, still look sharp 10 years later.

Nope, I don't think a few stitches will help....

But the franchise starts tripping on its internal logic with this entry.  And, just to let you know, I’ll be spoiling the ending to both this film and the previous one, so consider a SPOILER ALERT in effect for the next four paragraphs.

The mortician tells the group that a new life, one that occurs because Death’s design was interrupted, might save the remaining survivors.  At first, Kimberly has visions suggesting a pregnant woman holds the key to their salvation.  But she soon discovers that the woman and her unborn child would have survived the initial accident without her intervention.  Recalling other visions, Kimberly believes her death, and resurrection, will end the carnage.  But this plot twist nullifies the ending of the original film, as Alex dies saving Clear, only to be revived off camera by the FBI agents. 

It could be argued that it wasn’t Alex’s turn to die (an idea that resurfaces later in the series), but the mortician never mentions that the new life has to occur at any particular place in Death’s new plan.  And the script offers no explanation for this discrepancy, as if the screenwriters didn’t pay close enough attention to the previous entry, or just hoped the audience would forget about that little point.

The link between this batch of survivors and the survivors of Flight 180 also seems a bit stretched.  Not that their back stories wouldn’t work, but it’s never explained why Death waited a full year to take them out at one time, rather than kill them in separate, smaller accidents.  Not only are the odds of everyone being in the same spot at the right time are pretty astronomical, but waiting so long before killing them would further disrupt Death’s master plan.  This new group is targeted because their interactions with the survivors of Flight 180 kept them alive, so one can only suspect how many other people’s fates were changed during past twelve months.

Exploring this wrinkle in the film’s final moments would make for a perfect lead into the next sequel, but the filmmakers settle for a splatstick moment that falls flat.  While the scene ties up a loose end from earlier in the film, the humor feels out of place and the buildup to the death, placing the final survivors in the right place at the right time, stretches believability to the breaking point.

Me, crazy?  What makes you think that?

Despite these quibbles, Final Destination 2 is my choice for the best entry in the series.  The opening disaster is amazing, the deaths come quick and Ellis is unafraid to splash blood across the screen.  And the action comes at such a pace that it’s easy to ignore the script’s shortcomings.

David Wong returns to the director’s chair in Final Destination 3, attempting to recapture the feelings of paranoia and tension he developed in the original.  But he also tries to match the amount of mayhem, blood and boobs Ellis delivered, and the mix doesn’t quite work.  And rather than dealing with a few minor flaws, the script delivers a few near fatal flaws in the opening disaster.  So strap in, keep your hands in the car at all times and get ready for rather dubious twists and turns.

Evil Dead (2013)

Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead is one of the few modern horror classics that could use a decent remake.  As much as fans (like myself) love the film, as much as Raimi’s camera work continues to amaze audiences, the movie is pretty flawed and ripe for a reinterpretation. 

But Evil Dead is not that movie.

The film starts out with a prolog, as a man is coached on by a group of hillbillies (who look like rejects from another The Hills Have Eyes film) into burning his Deadite possessed daughter alive in order to free her soul.  The credits roll and we are introduced to a group of people arriving at an isolated cabin to help Mia (Jane Levy) kick her drug habit,  The group includes Mia’s brother, David (Shiloh Fernandez), his girlfriend Natalie (Elizabeth Blackmore) and two of Mia’s friends.  Olivia (Jessica Lucas) is an RN, planning to provide medical support to Mia, and Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci), a high school science teacher and old friend of David as well.

Events start going sour once the group discovers the cabin’s fruit cellar is full of dead cats and a burned post.  At this point, director Fede Alvarez decides the audience is too stupid to figure out this is the spot where the young woman was burned and inserts a needless flashback, even though the scene happened less than a half hour earlier.

The group finds the Book of the Dead and Eric gets to play the idiot who opens and reads from it, despite the warnings written across its pages.  Mia decides something creepy is happening and drives away from the cabin, only to meet up with a rapey patch of thorny vines and is impregnated by the force from the woods.  The others explain away her story, and her wounds, as the self-inflicted delusions of an addict experiencing DTs.  This gives the rainstorm time to flood the only road to civilization, trapping them in the cabin and allowing the unseen force try and devour their souls in order to unleash itself upon the rest of humanity.  And, as promised in the trailer, lots of gory mayhem ensues.

The stupidity of this group, and the script, is almost forgivable in the beginning.  Mia dumps her drugs down a well, in a ceremony that will ruin the water supply for everyone, yet no one seems concerned.  Olivia is convinced she can give the same care for Mia as a rehab center, despite being in the middle of the woods, isolated from any emergency medical facilities.  And one can forgive a science teacher for reading from the book, without suspecting that the demons written about would come to life.  And the script never explains why the hillbillies would leave such a dangerous book in someone’s cabin for others to find, or how the cabin has electricity without power lines running to it.

But these horror cliches are as forgivable, to a point, as a remake’s nods to the original material.  But unlike the best remakes (such as1988’s The Blob), Evil Dead goes nowhere new with those moments.  The scenes exist only to pander to fans of the original, which might have worked had the filmmakers not pulled moments from the two sequels as well as if the scriptwriters (Alvarez and Diablo Cody) want to include everything that made the series great.

Warning, the next two paragraphs contain some SPOILERS.

It’s a bad idea executed in a horrible fashion.  The possessed hand sequence would work in any film not titled Evil Dead, but Bruce Campbell’s amazing battle with his own limb in the original sequel makes the scene fall flat.  The fruit cellar floods, recalling the Pit Bitch moment in Army of Darkness, for no reason other than to include that iconic scene.  And once the sole survivor shoves their bloody stump into a chainsaw handle, it’s obvious the filmmakers are simply delivering more of the same, while trying to act fresh for newcomers. Such a strategy never works, as the fans will be disappointed in the over wrought winks and nods, while newer audience members won’t get the homage.

Yet the filmmakers decide this wasn't enough and crib bits off other horror films, in what feels like a desperate attempt to appeal to the fans.  Mia becomes the foul mouthed Regan from The Exorcist in several scenes, the Deadite possessed bodies move like they are extras from early 2000’s J-horror films, and the opening shot feels too much like Stanley Kurbrick’s The Shining to be effective in showing the cabin’s isolation.  This film is such a paint-by-numbers affair that I was squirming in my seat from boredom before the film was half over.

On the plus side, the effects look great.  Though Alvarez’s claim of not using CGI seems a bit overblown, as a few of the fire gags look computer enhanced, the blood and gore is all practical and is amazing work.  It’s nice to see a return to old school gore effects, but fans might wish it served a better film than this one.

By the time the credits finish up, and one of the people involved with the original gives their seal of approval, I suspect much of the audience is wondering why anyone would think this remake is so groovy.  Rather than trying to be original in any way, Evil Dead is nothing more than the equivalent of another kitten's photo on the web, asking the audience to like it without doing anything to earn such admiration other than appear onscreen.

Final Destination (2000)

At some point in life, everyone experiences a near death moment.  It might be as mundane as avoiding a car running a red light, or as dramatic as arriving late for an appointment to find the building engulfed in flames.  Whether you credit God’s intervention or sheer luck, one cannot deny the sense of relief felt after cheating the Grim Reaper.

The Final Destination franchise injects a evil twist into this universal experience, the idea that Death will not tolerate any deviation from the master plan.  Though the opportunity to comment on human mortality is obvious, the series is more interested showing how Death will rectify the situation, often with a nastier demise than the one avoided.  And the series delivers on that promise, though the thrills are often at the expense of the rules set up earlier in the franchise.  And this includes 2000’s Final Destination, as the finale breaks the rules set up in the opening acts.

Don't grab the towel!

The film starts as Alex Browning (Devon Sawa) prepares for his senior trip to France.  The film spends a lot of time (compared to the rest of the franchise) on character development, as Alex interactions with his caring parents and his best friend, Tod (Chad Donelly).  None of them notice Alex’s growing unease concerning the flight.  He’s not afraid of flying (at least no hint of this phobia is given in the script), but small events leading up to the plane’s departure like an airport reader board or a Muzak verion of a John Denver song, disturbs him for some reason. 

This feeling of dread culminates once Alex is in his seat, as he experiences a vivid premonition of the plane exploding during takeoff.  Jolting awaken as if from a nightmare, Alex begins experiencing events from his vision and tries to keep the plane from leaving the terminal.  All he succeeds in doing is preventing several students, and one teacher, from being on the plane when it explodes.

Told you so!

Alex’s prediction draws the attention of the FBI and ostracizes him from the rest of his class, including Tod.  The only person who will talk to him is Clear Waters (Ali Larter), who left the plane because of some unexplained link, which allowed her to experience the terror Alex experienced after his vision.

Soon, the survivors start dying in unexplained accidents, while Alex sees cryptic clues predicting each upcoming death.  Taking the advice of a local mortician (Tony Todd), who knows quite a bit about Death’s grand plan, Alex sets out to save the next victim in an attempt to break this new cycle of death.

I told her not to grab the towel.

The film sets up the template for the franchise, with a spectacular disaster followed by a series of deaths set in motion by events that would make Rube Goldberg proud.  And, by the middle of each film, the dwindling survivors work to prevent their impending demise.  But the film’s pacing set it apart from most of the other films in the franchise.  Co-writer/director James Wong delivers a slow first act, setting up Alex’s sense of isolation and paranoia after the plane crash.  And the slow burn continues, as we get several scenes with Alex and Clear that are more about building characters and atmosphere than moving the story to the next death scene.

The pacing gives the film more weight to this film compared to others in the series and might be a result of the script’s origin.  Written as a potential episode for The X-Files by Jeffery Reddick, the story was expanded into a feature film by Wong and his co-writing partner Glen Morgan, with the intent of the production serving as Wong’s directorial debut.  The sense of dread and paranoia is a perfect fit for the television series, and the two FBI agents are scaled back versions of Scully and Mulder.

But the story’s expansion to a feature film created a few problems.  The most glaring visual problem is the physical presence of Death. As a shadowy figure glimpsed by the victims before their death, its presence works fine.  However, the final act, which seems extended for a feature film, allows the physical presence of Death to be onscreen too long.  Not only are CG effects rather poor, even for the time, the figure never interacts with the environment, which further weakens the story.  Previous incidents imply an unseen hand setting events into motion, yet this spectral being just swoops about during the climax, trying to look scary without doing anything threatening.

Another problem involves Tod’s death, instigated after he slips on a puddle of water from a toilet that picks that moment to spring a leak.  After he dies, the water is drawn back into the toilet, as if Death is concerned about covering any evidence of its presence.  The scene is unnecessary, as Death left plenty of other traces that would lead any competent investigation to conclude the death was accidental.

Tony Todd as the creepy mortician

(SPOILER ALERT.  The next three paragraphs will discuss the film’s final act, so if you haven’t seen the film yet, you’ve been warned.)

But these complaints are minor, as the final act breaks the rules set up earlier in the movie.  Having failed at every attempt to keep the survivors alive, Alex realizes he is next and sets out to “death proof” a cabin near Clear’s house.  Yet he suddenly decides that he would not have changed his seat (as he did during and after his vision), which makes Clear the next victim.  And Death is already busy at Clear’s house, giving new meaning to the “act of God” insurance clause.

It’s an exciting sequence, but makes no sense.  Alex’s suspicion that he wouldn’t have changed seats isn’t supported by either his vision or the events that followed.  One could argue that the attack on Clear is a ruse to draw Alex out of his safe house, but the script never implies that Death is using Clear as a bait.  Alex almost drowns during his trek to Clear’s house, which nullifies that possibility since Death could have taken his life then.  Furthermore, the attempt on Clear’s life is just too intense to be a ruse.  Her death is a distinct possibility at several times and if the victims need to die in a specific order, such an attack would be a threat to Death’s design should Clear die.

The film does try to tie everything together at the end, as a survivor who avoided his second brush with Death is the victim of another freak accident.  But the final scene is more an attempt to leave open the possibility of a sequel, rather than close up any plot holes.

So, think I'll be back for the sequel? 

Despite these flaws, Final Destination is an enjoyable film.  The acting is solid (with only one painfully wooden performance) and the death scenes are an effective mix of practical and CG effects.  Also, several of the characters are named after genre filmmakers, a nice treat for fans, but one that might seem a bit presumptuous on the filmmaker’s part.  Naming one of the characters after Val Lewton invites comparisons to his work, and as fun as Final Destination is, it’s no Cat People or I Walk with a Zombie.

The franchise is off to a solid start, but a new director and writer will kick the series into high gear.  So buckle your seat belt and steer clear of logging trucks (rather difficult in the Pacific Northwest) as we take a look a Final Destination 2 next.   Beware, more mayhem, less story and more logic problems on the road ahead!

John Dies at the End (2011)

Okay, time for some full disclosure stuff.  I planned to have this review posted a bit earlier, as I went to the Portland premiere of John Dies at the End on Friday night.  But, a long week at work, combined with my early shifts and a couple of pints before entering The Hollywood Theatre, I incurred a series case of the head nods and dozed off during the final act.

So, you might expect this review to slam the film for being boring, but that’s not the case.  John Dies is fun, innovative and contained more interesting time travel moments than Looper.  And the film was so engaging, I had to see what I missed, so I returned to The Hollywood on Sunday afternoon and watched the entire film while awake.

Besides, I couldn’t write a review of a movie I didn’t see through till the end.  That would be wrong.

The film opens at a Chinese restaurant as David Wong (Chase Williamson) is telling the story of how he and his friend John (Rob Mayes) saved the world from an otherworldly invasion to a reporter (Paul Giamatti).  David is using a new drug called Soy Sauce, which gives a person incredible insight into reality and time traveling abilities.  But some of the users come back as breeding stock for beings from another dimension, and David wants to get the story out.

And that’s the plot.  It seems simple, yet director/screenwriter Don Coscarelli weaves together a tale full of seemingly nonsensical twists and turns that become clear as the movie progresses.  No stranger to dreamlike movies, Coscarelli’s Phantasm series has the same hallucinogenic feel as this film.  And, like Bubba Ho-Tep, the audience wants to believe the hero, no matter how much the surrounding characters, and the ensuing events, point out the fallacy of this belief.

The acting is very subdued and fits the story.  Williamson and Meyes come off like a couple of losers thrust into an adventure they can’t comprehend, let alone influence in any way, fitting the feel of the film and it’s overall conclusion.  The rest of the cast, including Doug Jones, Clancy Brown and Glynn Turman, keep a straight face throughout all the craziness, leading the audience questioning whether the story is just David’s bad trip.  Only Giamatti cuts loose, as the final resolution for his character’s arc allows for it, and makes perfect sense for whatever conclusion the audience come to concerning David’s tale.

But the genius of the film comes from the script (based on an e-novel by author David Wong), as the audience is given hints that David’s story is suspect and could be the results of a bad trip.  As events unfold, the script is always fuzzy on whether the events David is relating to the reporter are real or not.  And, as with Bubba Ho-Tep, Coscarelli doesn’t try to persuade the audience, but gives them enough to decide if the characters are true heroes or just seriously delusional.

As author Wong has written a sequel, This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don’t Touch It, I want to believe David’s story, despite any hints that was all a bad trip.  It’s all in the hope Coscarelli will to make a follow up film and allow us to follow David on other world-saving, possibly hallucinated, adventure.  Because following him was much more fun than any financed Hollywood movie I've seen in a while.

Happy Birthday, George Romero!

I need to take a moment and wish George Romero a very happy birthday.  I'd like to say he was the person that hooked me on horror, but that's just not the case.  I was already a fan, but Dawn of the Dead changed my outlook on the genre.  Before that film, I was only into horror for the scares, for the unexpected, the jolt of adrenaline that comes from a good jump scare.  But Dawn showed me that horror films could be so much more.

My parents were rather strict when it came to the movies I watched.  I was born LONG before home video was even an idea, and I couldn't get into any R-rated horror film without a parent or guardian.  My mother would let me read anything, so I was devouring books like The Exorcist back in grade school, but I never got the experience adult horror films until I was 17 years old.

I missed the chance to see Dawn in the theaters (I was only 16, and the local theaters were very strict about the age requirements), but the 80s was a great time to be a young horror fan.  I was able to see countless horror films, from Evil Dead 2 to Zombie and several Corman classics in the theaters and loved every thrill.

But one day, I rented Dawn and my outlook on horror changed.  I bought a used copy, wore it out, bought another one, wore that one out, bought the DVD as soon as it was available, then got the four disc set.  And I keep watching it, at least once a year.  It's the movie I would want if I was lost on a deserted island.

I didn't get what the film was saying at first, as most of my horror experiences till that time were the cheap thrillers I watched on late night television.  But, even with my limited experience in critically dissecting horror movies, I knew the film was saying something.  And once I attended college, which allowed me to see beyond the superficial trappings of art, I understood what Romero was saying in the film.  Regardless of the buckets of blood, the spilled entrails, the gapping holes from bites into flesh, the movie had a message.  It was saying something about the evolving human experience, how our society works to change us and the consequences of such actions.  Over the years, each viewing seems to revel something new, as if Romero knew how societal influences would continue to assault us over thirty years later.

So happy birthday, Mr. Romero, and I can not thank you enough.  I hope this post doesn't suggest I'm degrading your other works.  I love Night, Day, Land and Diary, and Survival was quite fun.  Creepshow is a blast, Monkey Shines is pretty damn freaky and The Crazies is a horrific vision of the military industrial complex.  You've always pushed the edge of horror, but Dawn will always hold a special place in my heart.  You showed me that horror could have a meaning, a way to comment on the human condition.  And you did it with spilled entrails and lots of great, gory fun.  Bravo and, again, happy birthday.

Damn, that shot is still AWESOME!