The Return of Frightfully Funny Fridays!

Happy Friday the 13th!  And what better day to start up Frightfully Funny Fridays once again!

So, remember, this is the one day to avoid all the fun things in life, like booze, drugs and sex.  And, for god's sake, STAY OUT OF THE WOODS!!

WARNING: This clip contains a bit of graphic violence, so be safe watching it at work.

The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966)

Ask horror fans about their favorite childhood films and I bet no one would include the Don Knotts comedy, The Ghost and Mr. Chicken as part of their list.  But I assume most horror kids growing up in the 60s probably saw this one and I would suggest checking it out again, as the film works rather well when it stays in the “haunted” house.  And, I suspect, the Saturday morning cartoons you watched back in the 70s got a small bit of inspiration from this dark old house comedy.

The story follows Luther Heggs (Knotts), a typesetter for the small newspaper in Rachel, Kansas.  Luther has dreams of being a reporter and patrols the town at night in search of his big scoop.  He also wants to date the quite fetching Alma (Joan Staley), who’s dating the town’s main reporter, Ollie (Skip Homeier).

Atta boy, Luther!

Luther takes a major step in realizing his dream when he inserts his own story about the town’s infamous murder house as filler on the paper’s front page.  Dictated by Mr. Kelsey, the papers janitor, Luther writes about the murder/suicide twenty years ago, and the mysterious activity that occurs within the abandoned house ever since.

The story is a hit and George Beckett (Dick Sargent), the paper’s editor, decides that Luther should stay in the house during the 20^th anniversary of the deaths and report on the strange events.  Luther is hesitant, but agrees and enters the house just before midnight. 

Once the clock strikes twelve, Luther hears strange noises and finds a hidden passageway leading to a room where an organ is playing by itself.  Before racing out of the house, he comes across a painting of Mrs. Simmons, stabbed by a pair of garden shears and dripping blood.

Yep, that's a spooky old house, alright.

Luther returns to the pressroom in a state of hysteria, but is able to give Ollie and George enough details to allow them to write a story.  Luther gets his break and soon, he’s dating Alma and bathing in the fame bestowed upon him by the town.  At least until he and the paper are sued for libel by the remaining member of the Simmons family, whose plans to bulldoze the house are thwarted by the coverage.

At the trial, Luther is humiliated, and things unravel further once the court reconvenes at the Simmons house later that night.  As no ghostly apparitions appear after midnight, Luther is discredited and ostracized by his supporters.  But once the crowd leaves the scene, Alma finds the mysterious passageway, while Luther hears the organ playing once again and races upstairs to solve the mystery.

Only he doesn’t solve the mystery, or really do anything in the film.  Luther may be the protagonist of this tale, but he’s not the hero.  He is given credit for stories written by others and the mystery of the Simmons house is reveled by another character.  Of course, Luther is in the foreground, strutting about as if he knew everything, which is no surprise, as the movie seems designed for Knotts to bring his Barney Fife character to the big screen (Knotts left The Andy Griffith Show a year before the release of this film).  And the bloated second act, as Knott trying to act the heroic figure and justify everyone’s admiration, re-enforces that the film is centered on Knotts's shtick. 

Who needs MMA training when you have mail order Karate classes?

So why am I writing this review, you might ask.  Well, I have a long history with this film, having seen it for the first time at a Florida drive-in when I was five years old.  My parents weren’t fans of horror films, and this was the first spooky movie I remember seeing on the big screen.  And, as my parents wouldn’t let me watch scary movies on television when I was a kid, I think it’s safe to say this was my first Universal “horror” movie.

When my family moved to Portland in the mid 70s, this film was on a yearly rotation schedule on KPTV.  So, on rainy Northwest days, I take the chance to watch anything remotely scary once my parents allowed me to have a small black and white television in my bedroom.  Okay, it wasn’t because they thought I was old enough, but more likely to keep my younger brothers and I from fighting over what to watch during football season.  Either way, the situation worked for me.

Still, like the magic dragon Puff, Mr. Chicken eventually faded from my memory with the advent of VHS and cable.  At least until a few weeks ago, when I spied a used DVD at a local Videorama and decided, in a fit of nostalgia, to purchase it so I could relieve a bit of my childhood. 

And I’m glad I did, because once you get past the middle act, the film is a fun little chiller.  The moments in the Simmons house work rather well.  The house looks creepy enough, but the lighting is bright enough, and overly colorful at times, to keep from being too scary.  And the script, for being little more than a Don Knotts family comedy, is pretty smart.  Screenwriters James Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum set everything up in the opening act, delivering clues like a mystery movie that allows the final revel to make sense.  One could watch the opening act after viewing the movie just to see how a few well-placed moments in easily overlooked scenes set up the climax.

The cast is solid, playing the film straight without winking at the camera at any time.  Though Knotts tends to overact at times, the other players are content to play his straight man.  Though a few might seem like extras from Mayberry (little surprise, as Andy Griffith considered extending a haunted house episode from his series into a feature length film prior to Knotts’ departure), they all make the town of Rachel seem real and keep Luther’s antics grounded in the community, rather than outlandish or out of place.

Enough of the Don Knotts acting scared pictures.  Here's another shot of Alma.

Composer Vic Mizzy (who also wrote the themes to The Addams Family and Green Acres, as well as a few other Knotts films) delivers a terrific score for the film that helps sell the spooky happenings.  While the main theme is light and bouncy, Mizzy takes a few bars and play them back during the haunted organ scene to great effect.  Once you hear the score, like Mizzy’s other works, it’s hard to forget it. 

Some have suggested through online comments that Mizzy “used” the melody to the song Mr. Ghost goes to Town for the film’s main theme.  And, though a few bars sound similar, I could find no citations supporting such statements.  I suspect Mizzy heard this song at some point, as he and the writers of Mr. Ghost (Will Hudson, Irving Mills and Mitchell Parish) were working in the New York City at the same time.  But to claim it was anything more than an inspiration seems a stretch, as the basic rhythm and feel of his score for The Ghost and Mr. Chicken is in keeping with his later works. 

But what struck me most about the movie is how it’s a prolonged Scooby Doo mystery.  A haunting is investigated and a series of scary events happen, all of which are reveled as a hoax after the villain is captured.  Though, in the movie, the “haunting” is to expose a crime, not cover one up.  Still, once the villain is tied to a chair in front of the authorities, you can imagine him shouting how he would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for that darned reporter.

According to several Internet sites, the inspirations for Scooby Doo, Where Are You? are The Many Loves of Doby Gillis (an interview with the cartoon’s creators and writer support this claim) and I Love a Mystery, a 40s radio drama about three globe-trotting detectives.  And while it’s possible someone involved with CBS or Hanna Barbara remembered that radio show, I suspect The Ghost and Mr. Chicken was more of an inspiration to the creative team at Hanna Barbara.

I cannot support this claim, but it makes sense.  The film opened three years before the cartoon premiered, so it’s possible someone on the Hanna-Barbara team saw the film.  And, as I mentioned above, when striped of the second act, the film is almost a template for the cartoon.  Park the Mystery Machine in front of the Simmons house, add in a projected ghost and you have a Scooby Doo episode.  

Yea, tell me you couldn't see Shaggy and Scooby running through the halls of this house.

It might be hard for this film to connect with a modern audience, and not only because of the pace.  Rachel is a bit like Mayberry, with boarding houses, eccentric characters, typewriters and no cell phones.  So if you plan to show this to your kids, be prepared to explain how things were back in the 60s, at least when it comes to “wholesome family films.” 

But for older horror fans, this is a nice bit of nostalgia and a reminder that horror comedies can work without dropping to the level of the Scary Movie franchise.  Compared to many horror comedies today, The Ghost and Mr. Chicken is almost a masterpiece.

Final Destination 5 (2011)

As it was the highest grossing entry to the franchise thus far, no one was surprised to see a follow up to The Final Destination arrived in theaters.  And though screenwriter Eric Heisserer (who penned the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street and the prequel for The Thing) and director Steven Quale (second unit director on Avatar and Titanic) don’t bring anything new to the franchise, Final Destination 5 is a lot of fun, but fails as part of the franchise by changing the rules once again. 

The film centers on Sam (Nicholas D’Agosto), who works for a manufacturing company by day, while pursuing his dream of becoming a master French chef at night.  Because of this dual life, his work at the company is slipping, as noted by his supervisor and best friend, Peter (Miles Fisher).  Adding to Sam’s problems is the fact that he is attending a company retreat with his ex-girlfriend Molly (Emma Bell).

Of course, Sam’s life is made even worse once he has a premonition of a bridge collapse that causes the deaths of most everyone on the bus.  Sam awakens from his vision and, following the Final Destination playbook, saves his co-workers from death, at least until they start falling victim to a series of mysterious accidents.

Oh, that can't be a good sign

Returning to the franchise is mortician William Bludworth (Tony Todd), who tells Sam and his friends that the only way to cheat Death is to have someone whose death wasn’t part of the plan to take your place.  And this seems to be the solution, as one of Sam’s co-workers is skipped after the death of someone at the plant.  But Sam isn’t willing to murder someone to save himself, although one of his coworkers (one guess who) has no problem deciding that Molly should die in their place.

If you are looking for nothing more than moments of mayhem, FD5 delivers.  The opening disaster is amazing, second only to the opening of FD2, and several of the following deaths are stunning.  As a stand-alone film, it’s damn near perfect.  But once you start thinking about how this story ties into the rest of the franchise, the movie falls apart.

The first problem is the advice Bludworth gives Sam and his friends.  As someone who claims to have knowledge about Death’s ultimate scheme, the mortician seems to have gotten his advice by asking a Magic 8-Ball.  In FD1, he says saving someone on the list will cause Death to skip the next in line, then it’s about saving a “new life” in FD2.  Now he’s talking about killing a stranger.  One could suspect Bludworth is in league with Death, and messing with the survivor’s minds is part of the grand scheme.

Seriously, his track record is worse than most Portland weather forecasters

But a bigger problem occurs during the final few minutes of the film, WHICH I WILL SPOIL.  So, if you haven’t seen the film, skip the next four paragraphs.

Sam and Molly reconcile by the end and both board a Paris-bound, so Sam is able to pursue his culinary aspirations.  But the couple is on the same Flight 180 that started the franchise, dooming them to a fiery death.  Yes, the film revels itself to be a prequel, a nice little twist. 

The only problem is Sam saves Molly in his premonition.  So, by the rules set up in the first film, she is not suppose to die and, once you think about it, her death aboard Flight 180 messes with the continuity of the series.  In FD2, Death starts claiming people whose lives were spared by their interactions with the survivors of FD1.  So, if any deviations from the premonitions messes with Death’s design, that would include Molly’s death on Flight 180.  And it means that Death might have to keep people alive, as Molly will not set events in motion that would save their lives.

What do you mean, I'm not in the sequel?  I'm not suppose to die!

Yes, these alterations would be easily overlooked upon a first viewing.  And it’s obvious the main concern with each sequel was to top the previous entry and not create a connecting series of films.  But the continual change in the overall mythology from the first film feels sloppy, and one has to wonder if the series would have a more connected feel had Wong and Morgan been able to work on the first sequel.

Despite my nitpicking, I enjoyed each entry and look forward to the next film in the series.  No, I haven’t heard of a new film yet, but as each entry made New Line Cinema a lot of money, another sequel should be expected.  But rather than following the now time worn formula, I hope the next screenwriter tries to take the franchise in a new direction.   For example, the next film could explore what causes the premonitions.  The idea of another entity trying to disrupt Death’s ultimate plan could inject new life into the series and give fans a twist in the oft-told tale, while delivering the mayhem expected of the series. 

Regardless of whether this is the end or not, the one lesson from The Final Destination series appears to be that, if you have a premonition of death, you might consider letting events unfurl as planned.  After all, this franchise suggests that Death will be very upset with such interference and might create a more prolonged, painful death than the one you’d avoid.  And while that’s not true for every character in the series, are you willing to chance it?

You're Next (2011)

After screenings at the Toronto International Film Festival and Fantastic Fest in 2011, director Adam Wingard’s latest horror film, You’re Next, arrived in US cineplexes this weekend.  And while it's better than some of the other genre offerings over the past few years, a weak second half opts to substitute a series of bloody fight scenes for any sense of horror or dread.

The story involves a family gathering in a secluded mansion.  Once the siblings, and their partners, arrive for their parent's anniversary celebration, family dynamics lead to a heated argument over dinner.  But a trio of killer, dressed in black paramilitary garb and white animal masks, interrupt the bickering siblings with a well-planned attack against the family.  But despite their meticulous preparations, the killers didn’t plan on a guest with the skills to make their siege much more complicated. 

Sorry, not giving away any spoilers in the photos either

It’s a simple story, but Simon Barrett’s script is very tight.  A veteran of the horror genre  (having worked on Dead Birds, A Horrible Way to Die and segments for The ABCs of Death and V/H/S), he injects a healthy dose of black humor into the script.  Character revelations are reveled during the story, without an over-reliance on expository scenes that would stop the action.  And his script is carful to include actions by certain characters earlier in the film that give future plot twists credibility.  

Director Wingard (A Horrible Way to Die, The ABCs of Death and V/H/S) delivers some intense moments during the siege.  The violence is intense, realistic (with one exception late in the film) and quite graphic.  Though the film contains several predictable jump scares, and the killers have moments of precognition that would rival Jason, the film never gets so ludicrous that the audience’s suspension of disbelief is shattered.  And, to be fair, the jump scares are well filmed and downright creepy at times. 

The only distraction to Wingard’s work is his tendency to move the camera during most of the film, ranging from subtle bobbing to rather rapid shaking.  The movement is intended to unnerve the audience and never turns into the frantic motion associated with found footage film.  But the appearance of the killers is creepy enough when they emerge from hiding, and the technique feels excessive, unnecessary and rather annoying.  You might wonder if he was sleeping during classes on the use of a tripod.

Stop moving the camera, you're making ME sick!

The cast, which includes horror veteran Barbara Crampton and director/writer Ti West, is also quite good.  Even when a character break the basic rules of surviving a horror movie, the cast sells the moments well, aided by a script that makes their actions feel like something anyone would do in similar circumstances. 

But though all the elements for a spectacular horror film are present, You're Next just doesn’t gel.  The problem is the script revels the motivation for the attack, and a major plot twist, too early and drains any sense of suspense and terror out of the film.  Instead, the filmmakers begin to rely on a series of brutal fight scenes to keep the momentum going.  Such a tactic can work in a horror film, as movies like Inside prove.  But, for such scenes to work, the film needs to maintain a sense of horror and dread.  Wingard and Barrett forgot that one ingredient and focus on the bloody action alone.  Once the atmosphere developed earlier is lost, the film's protagonist became little more than an action hero trading blows with a series of villains, not the survivor of a horror film.  

No, that's not your cat in the window!

And that's too bad, as You’re Next started strong.  But once the filmmakers lost focus on the horror of their tale, the film devolves into a series of action scenes that might be bloody and brutal, but aren't very scary.

Syfy bringing back Sharktopus for two sequels

I tried to get verification for this from the source, but Syfy isn't returning my calls right now (Just kidding; I'm waiting to see if my feedback email gets answered).  But, if true, expect to see two new Sharktopus sequels in the near future!

I'm coming to kick your butt, Sharknado!

I know, Sharktopus exploded at the end of his feature debut, but we all know that won't keep a good monster down.  Or get in the way of someone trying to make money off a known commodity.  And as the eight-tentacled eating machine was one of Syfy's highest rated movies, it seems surprising it took this long to bring the big guy back after Sharknado made such a splash.

Oh yes, pun intended.

According to Dread Central, the first film will be Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda.  I have no idea what type of beast a Pteracuda is, but it sounds like a combination of a pterodactyl and a barracuda.  A flying fish with a mouthful of razor sharp teeth battling a shark/octopus hybrid sounds awesome.  Now all Syfy has to do is get Heart involved (or at least have Ann and Nancy Wilson in the movie) and I'm sold.  Sorry, Asylum, I told you a monster barracuda and the Heart sisters would be a match made in heaven. Now I can only hope Syfy is reading....

If nothing else, let them sing the title song, as it would be awesome!

But things get even better with the next sequel, Sharktopus vs. Mermantula.  Again, according to Dread Central, a Mermantula is what you get when an ex-basketball player decides to take down Sharktopus, and allows himself to become a human/piranha/tarantula hybrid.

Okay, let that one sink in.  A Human/Piranha/Tarantula hybrid.

Not that it matters, but the film is reported to have snagged Casper Van Dien and his wife, Catherine Oxenberg, to appear in the film.  But with a Mermantula involved, this promises to be the film so craptastic that it might make your head explode.

This faux trailer for Pacific Rim is just all sorts of AWESOME!!!!!

Oh, I have to share this fan-mad trailer.  It's just amazing.  View it while you can.....

Here's your Friday Frightfully Funny Moment

Worried that your smart phone is getting too smart?  Well, your fears are well grounded in this short from Rooster Teeth.  Enjoy!