Shark Attack in the Mediterranean (2004)

Okay, I thought I was done with the shark attack movie reviews, but I picked up this DVD and had to share the cheesy goodness.  A German television production known as Hai-Alarm auf Mallorca and Shark Alarm, this film fits into the so bad it’s awesome category of shark attack films.  You might still find the dubbed DVD version around and, if you love cheesy shark flicks, just buy it.  You’ll thank me later.

The film opens as Sven Hansen (German bodybuilder turned actor Ralf Moeller) is reconsidering his life in the island of Mallorca.  His wife was attacked and killed by a shark, and he feels the need to leave in order to help alleviate his grief. 

Hanging onto his job as a helicopter pilot, he picks up marine biologist Julia Bennett (Julia Stinshoff), heading for her new job at a shark research facility on the island.  Their flight to Mallorca is interrupted by a distress call from a boat that lowers tourists in a cage to view the sharks that call the island home.  The captain, in a display of sheer stupidity dictated by the script, trapped several tourists in shark infested waters by trying to relocate the boat without bringing up the shark cage.  Sven and Julia rescue the tourist, but Sven’s not happy to find that his daughter Maja (Oona-Deva Liebich) is part of the crew.

Upon their rescue, the tourists report that something big came out of the local trench and scared the other sharks away.  Soon, people start dying and Sven is convinced the shark that killed his wife is back, bigger and badder than before.

And, as expected, Sven is right.  The institute’s head doctor, Verena Bandauer (Katy Karrenbauer), is hiding the fact that a megalodon escaped its pen and killing Sven’s wife before disappearing into the trench.  Now it’s back, full grown and ready to unleash itself on the population of Mallorca.

Toss in Maja disobeying her father by taking part in a jet-ski competition and a cover up involving the local authorities, and you can just sit back and you know that mayhem will ensue.

I told you I was right!

I should warn you, the shark attacks is minimal, with most of the onscreen mayhem confined to the final act.  This shouldn’t be a surprise, as the film was a TV production, but the script makes up for the lack of megalodon action with lots of fun little action sequences and amazing (and possibly unintentional) campy bits that manage to keep your interest.

For example, the institution is willing to kill Sven to keep him from pressing about the shark.  So we get the moment when Sven is run off the road by a truck, leading to an amazing WTF moment, as Sven jumps out of his jeep midair after he’s run off a cliff.  The moment is crazy enough, but add in scenes of some nameless rich dude explaining to a bevy of bikini-clad women how to properly cook meat on a grill, and how a true grillmaster doesn’t fall from the sky, makes the moment Sven drops into the pool, while his jeep explodes behind everyone more enjoyable than it should be. 

I don't notice the fireball behind me, as I'm

so enthralled by Sven.

The rich guy returns later in the film, as Sven has to borrow another of his cars.  As expected, the rich guy submits to Sven’s masculinity and admits, “I suppose I can’t stop you.”  Seriously, the scriptwriters (Jorg Alberts, Roland Heep, Frank Koopmann and Don Schubert) deserve some recognition for that moment if the dubbed version is even close to the original script.  The scene is played so seriously that one can’t help but laugh. 

Yes, the film is dubbed, but the voice actors are as serious as the actors on screen, which adds to the camp factor.  And I have to mention that the film contains a rather satisfactory ending for a character working with the nefarious institution.

Adding to the craziness is a scene with German pop star Jeanette Biedermann, as a band member at the big jet-ski competition, performing a song with the chorus, “Hey, hey, hey, do the 69!”  I don’t jet-ski, so I wondered if this was a mix of race logo with a racy implication.  Than I saw the cover for her album Break On Through (the song 69 is listed as part of the Platinum edition) and I didn’t even bother trying to look any further into jet-ski terminology.

Yeah, that should eliminate any doubts about what the song is about.

Despite the faults, the film manages to be engaging during most of its 93 minute running time.  The pace is fast enough to keep from dragging out too long, and some of the dialog makes more sense when you know the background of the actors.  For example, Moeller was in the running to play the T-1000 in Terminator 2, until the filmmakers decided to go with a skinnier actor to play against Arnold.  So, when Julia mentions to a police officer, “I’ll be back,” before running her car into the station to free Sven, it’s easy to snicker at the moment, rather than feel it’s just a blatant rip-off moment (which, to be honest, it is).

And when the shark finally attacks, the scenes are pretty good.  Okay, the effects fall short at times, as parts of the shark become transparent or the shark’s scale is questionable.  But the attack scenes are well staged, and the effects department was smart enough to create a wake around the shark’s fin, which is more than can be said for some other giant shark movies out there.

Yeah, the scale and perspective is screwed, but this shot still looks cool.

It’s goofy fun, and worth a look if you can get it.  Whether the cheese was intended or not, Shark Attack in the Mediterranean is one of those perfect rainy Saturday morning movies, when it’s time to curl up on the couch with a blanket and a bowl of sugar-filled cereal and let your inner five year old run wild.   

Interview with Dima Levanchuk, Northwest filmmaker and his Kickstarter campaign for Rayke

The Shadow Over Portland: I’m talking with Dima Levanchuk, Northwest filmmaker who’s launched a Kickstarter campaign for his latest short, Rayke.  Can you tell me what the movie is about?

Dima Levanchuk: The movie is a short creature horror movie, about a group of friends who go into the woods.  And, being party animals, they disturb the spirit of the forest, so a creature comes out of the ground and attacks them, killing them and all sorts of horrible things.

The film will be shot in Seattle and we’re looking at filming in November and early December.

TSOP: Have you delved into public funding before? 

DL: We’ve never done Kickstarter before.  This is our chance to see how it works and such. 

TSOP: You’ve directed several shorts, and a feature called The Tramp.

DL: Yes.  I’ve been shooting films for almost five years now, and we’ve been collecting a bunch of awards here and there.  Best director, best special effects, and others. 

Than we decided to try shoot a feature about a woman who is brutalized, gets a bunch of weapons and kicks ass.  That one won awards down in Texas at a film festival. 

But we want to stay in Washington, and bring actors, make up artist and such to work here.  There is a lot of horror work, but, unfortunately, not a lot of big work, but our goal is to change that.

TSOP: Do you have an estimated running time for Rayke?

DL: Yeah, about 11 minutes long.  Of course, the more money we get, the longer it could run, as long as it’s entertaining.  I don’t want it to run too long.

TSOP: Is the monster an original creation, or one based on folklore?

DL:  We’re combining a few elements from the Berwick Monster legend and creepy pasta creature Rake.  So it’s a new creature, just a mix of different ones.  Though, if you look a rendition of the Berwick Monster, I guess it’s based on a legend.

TSOP: The actors you’re hiring, are they local?  Have the worked on films before?

DL:  We have one actor from Portland and four actors from Seattle.  All of them have worked on short movies, and one is a theater director. 

TSOP: Your creature will be a full body prosthetic creation. 

DL: Yes, Adam Lee Matthew will be doing prosthetics on hands, back, feet.  Lily Wilson, who’s a makeup artist, she’ll be applying the prosthetics.  And, of course, we’ll have blood and all the fun stuff.

The prosthetics will probably be about 4 to 5 hours of application time.  And the actor will be running around in the Northwest weather in November and December, practically naked except for the prosthetics.  Though he says, “I’ll suffer for it,” we’ll figure out how to take care of that. 

TSOP: Now, you’re filming in November and December in the Northwest, and it’s going to rain.  How will that affect the creature makeup?

DL:  We are going to use materials that are not as affected by water.  Adam says the makeup be okay in water and other stuff.  We considered that, because makeup in the rain can look like crap.  But, we have an experienced crew and I know they will pull it off. 

TSOP: If people are interested in seeing your previous work, where can they go to view your other shorts, or the feature?

DL: Well, my central hub is GrittyFlix.com (http://www.grittyflix.com/), which is where I will put all of our project information.  It’s how people can get a hold of us and check out our stuff.

TSOP: The Kickstarter campaign runs through October 30 (at 11:11 am PST).  How are you doing so far?

DL:  It’s okay.  Not were we want to be, but if the Kickstarter campaign doesn’t go through, we’ll figure out how to get the money together and make the film.  Either way, we’ll make the film. 

That’s indie filmmaking.  It’s hard to find money.  But you keep working at it and eventually you find something. 

TSOP:  I see you have some interesting incentives, such as prosthetics from the monster. 

DL: Yes.  Adam is going to be sculpting something we can put in a little jar with Northwest moss, or a lower jaw all hacked up and destroyed.  And, about 10 minutes ago, I added a new incentive, where you will get a statue, about 6 inches tall, of the creature.

Adam, who’s doing the sculptures, he has a Masters Degree in sculpture from University of Washington, so he approached the design like an artist.  He was, this is a really good piece, and I’m like, yes, but it’s part of a movie.  Now, he’s like, “I want to sell this for like, $1000,” and I’m like, “You can’t, it’s an incentive.”  It’s this creative battle, with an artist who wants to promote and sell his work, and the fact that it’s a incentive for the movie. 

TSOP:  A list of all the incentives is available on your Kickstarter page.

DL:  Yes, and whether we collect the money or not, we will put them on the movie webpage, raykethemovie.com.  So people can go there and decide that want something and it will be available.  So, if they want to give us some money for the film, we’ll send them something.  Just because the Kickstarter campaign is over, it doesn’t mean people can’t get anything. 

TSOP:  What are your plans for Rayke once it’s completed?  Will it be released on a website, or are you going on the festival circuit?

DL:  Well, the idea is to see if people want to see something like this, if they are interested in a creature movie.  If they are, we’ll look into doing a feature.  This is to test the waters, see what people think about it, to find out if it’s creepy or not, if people are as excited about it as we are.  And if they are, we’ll try to come with a feature concept, and funding for the movie. 

So, yes, we’ll have it online for people to see.  And we’ll bring it to some local film festivals, because we love to support the local area. 

TSOP: Dima, thanks for taking the time out of your schedule for this interview, and best of luck on the Kickstarter campaign.

DL:  Thank you.

If you’d like to contribute to the Kickstarter campaign, visit this link for more information and a list of the incentives available to contributors.  

The Poltergeist remake is rated PG-13, which is no reason to freak out

If you're a horror fan on the Internet, I'm sure you've heard the news that the Poltergeist remake has been given a PG-13 rating by the MPAA, for "intense frightening sequences, brief suggestive material and some language."

And, despite the fact that the rating description seems appropriate for the material in the 1982 original, several websites are framing this as another less-frightening Hollywood remake, thanks to the lack of the coveted R-rating that denotes a "true" horror film.

But, should you be up in arms about the remakes rating, I suggest you calm down and remember that the original was rated PG.  Yes, back then, the PG-13 rating had yet to be created.  Poltergeist, as well as Gremlins and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, were films that pushed the Motion Picture Associate of America to create the PG-13 rating, a way to designated a film was fine for teens, but might not be suitable for younger children.

Yeah, this scene won't give toddlers nightmares.

And I won't deny that, since it's inception, the PG-13 rating has become both a marketing ploy and a joke.  Films that should be PG (like The Avengers) add enough of certain element to gain the rating as a way to imply this film is too intense for kids, attracting the teen crowd.  Meanwhile, other films cut back on the blood sprays (Expendables 3, I'm looking at you) to make the action sanitized enough for a PG-13 rating, aiming gain a few extra box office bucks from a younger demographic.

It's silly, to say the least, when a film featuring the murder of countless people can earn a PG-13, while a movie like The King's Speech earns an R rating because someone uses the F-word a few too many times.

And it's rather silly that I have to use the term "F-word" in order to not be listed as an explicit blog, but that's our current state of the nation.  Mowing down rows of evil soldiers is okay, but saying the F-word is bad.  Or showing too much nudity, regardless of the content.

But I digress.  Let's get back to Poltergeist.

The original film proves that buckets of blood and topless women aren't needed to scare you.  Hell, I still get chills from the originals, while many of the slasher films I saw in the 80s are little more than fond memories.  Sure, the effects are awesome, but the combination of boobs and blood isn't really scary.

Now, the creepy clown doll freaks me out.  Even more than 30 years later.

If this scene doesn't send chills down your spine, you can't be human.

Which is why I'm going to see the remake of Poltergeist.  If it's a bomb, it's a bomb.  But, as Spielberg and Hooper proved, it's not the rating that makes a movie scary, it's what the filmmakers do with the material.  Hell, I sat through 2013's Evil Dead and, despite some amazing practical effects, my mood went from boredom to annoyance by the final reel.

Though I doubt this remake will be as good as the original, I'll give it a chance, regardless of the rating, as should fellow horror fans.

Event Horizon (1997)

A bomb upon its initial release, Event Horizon has gained a bit of a cult following over the years.  Originally compared to films as diverse as 2001: A Space Odyssey and The Black Hole, to Alien and Hellraiser, such comments showed critics were off the mark.  The film is a high tech version of a classic haunted house tale, more akin to films like The House on Haunted Hill or The Legend of Hell House.  It's easy to envision Hammer, back in the 60s, making this film, had the budget and technology allowed such a production.

  

The film follows a deep space rescue ship, Lewis and Clark, as it heads into orbit around Neptune.  Upon awaking for suspended animation, Captain Miller (Laurence Fishburne) and his crew are given the details of their secret mission by Dr. Weir (Sam Neill).

Weir designed a ship, the Event Horizon, with an engine that can bend the fabric of space and allow for exploration into the farthest regions of space.  But, on her maiden voyage, the Event Horizon vanished.  Reappearing after seven years, Lewis and Clark has been dispatched to find out what happened to the ship and her crew.

I suspect they didn't find a place full of rainbows and unicorns.

Just a guess...

As expected, the captain of the ill-fated ship was able to release one last, cryptic message.  While no one has been able to figure out what was being said on the recording in the past seven years, one of the crewmembers of Lewis and Clark recognizes the language used as Latin and offers a rough translation, “Save us.”

Of course, all sorts of spooky things occur once the crew boards, and are marooned on, the Event Horizon.  Dr. Weir (yes, his name is one letter away from Weird, a not very subtle bit of foreshadowing) starts seeing visions of his dead wife, Miller sees the burning corpse of a crewman he left to die on an earlier mission, and the resident Latin expert realizes he might have mistranslated the message.

Yep.  Nothing creepy about Dr. Wir's design.

I’m not spoiling anything by saying a mysterious force has infested the ship (it’s another bit of early, unsubtle foreshadowing), which attacks several crewmembers before driving Dr. Weir insane.  Or, at least crazy enough to let the remaining members of the Lewis and Clark that, on its maiden voyage, the Event Horizon traveled through Hell and is planning to return there with a new crew.

Yes, mayhem ensues.

Taken as a haunted house film, Event Horizon is quite a bit of fun.  Despite the clumsy foreshadowing, Philip Eisner’s script is a nice, slow burn, which works by not only giving the audience time to accept a haunted (okay, possessed might be a better word) spaceship, but it makes Weir’s journey into insanity believable.  By slowly revealing what building the Event Horizon cost him, his transition into an emissary of Hell becomes quite plausible, keeping him from becoming a simple Pinhead rip off. 

Though scenes like this might have mislead a few people.

Given his later projects, such as the Resident Evil series, director Paul W. S. Anderson (credited as Paul Anderson) does a great job at keeping the pace restrained until the final act, despite a few minor burst of cinematic excess.  It isn’t until the final act that Anderson allows the action sequences to become more akin to his later films, giving an interesting looks at a director who could deliver something more enticing that a kickass zombie action flick. 

But the film’s success owes much to the sets.  The Event Horizon is dark, foreboding and quite different from the other ships in the film.  Bathed in shadows, with curved archways, an endless hall, and an engine room that looks more Gothic than a futuristic society would design, the ship is more like a haunted house than a futuristic space vessel.  Had Weir had mentioned the design of the ship took advantage of eldritch geometric patterns, I’d suspect the crew passed a bit to close to Azathoth rather than into Hell. 

Yeah, not Lovecraftian at all.

It’s unfortunate the intent of the being that inhabits the Event Horizon is never made clear.  The ship is making people relive their hidden “sins,” but only Weir seems to have any reason to feel guilt for the event he is forced to relive.  Miller did let a man die during a rescue mission, and he has every right to feel bad for leaving him behind.  But his action wasn’t based on cowardice (at least such motivation isn’t made clear), but rather to save the rest of his crew.  Another crewmember sees distressing visions of the son she’s left on Earth during her tour with the Lewis and Clark, yet the boy is with his father and, again, the script never suggests the father might be harming the child.  Again, she might feel guilty for her actions, but it is not sinful.   

And killing off crewmembers is not a good way to drag the crew to Hell, especially if their sins aren’t enough to cause eternal damnation.  The script never explains how killing off the crewmembers benefits the ship or works to achieve its ultimate goal.  It seems a better plan, once the crew is marooned on the Event Horizon, would be to rev up the drive right away and open the gateway back to Hell.  Yet, this doesn’t happen until a few crewmembers die because of the ship’s actions, lessening the people/souls it can bring back to Hell.  It’s not clear which the ship prefers.  While Weir states the ship wants another crew to bring back to the chaotic realm it re-emerged from, one has to wonder how killing off crewmembers will accomplish that goal.     

And when I said the action sequences become absolutely unbelievable during the climax, all I need mention is one character’s return to the Event Horizon, after being blown into space on the wreckage of the Lewis and Clark.  The moment stretches probability in the same way Gravity did at times (yes, I said it, and I stand behind it), making the moment more laughable than exciting.  And, of course, we have an unrealistic decompression sequence, which might have been easier to overlook had the missing crewmember not shown up outside the ship a few seconds earlier.

But the most glaring error is the electronic score during the film’s opening and closing credits.  Given that rest of the score is more fitting to the atmosphere of the film, the electronic dance number used during the closing credits is quit jarring.  Perhaps a slower piece of music to start, transitioning to the techno score, would have worked better, rather than punching the audience in their face with an inappropriate music choice when the ending credits start to roll.

Soundtrack created by DJ I've Come For Your Soul

Regardless of these few missteps, Event Horizon is a creepy little haunted spaceship tale.  It’s not perfect, but it’s better than some of the haunted house movies in recent years.  And it’s nice to see a film that relies more on setting and atmosphere to generate a sense of foreboding, rather than upon props, such as creepy dolls or strange looking demons, to generate a flurry of jump scares in a sophomoric attempt to frighten the audience.

Dracula Untold (2014)

In production before Universal studio’s announcement of plans to create a common cinematic universe for their classic monsters, Dracula Untold is rumored to have undergone reshoots to make it more of a first chapter in the upcoming run of monster films.  I can’t tell if the reports are true or not, but the movie is a cautionary tale of things to come, the attempt to build a superhero style franchise from the Universal catalog of things that go bump in the night.

Yes, this is a superhero origin story, with the Prince of Darkness as the hero.  And regardless of whether you go into the movie accepting that premise or not, the film is a crashing bore, a cacophony of CGI bats swarming through armies, Dracula (called Vlad throughout most of the film) crushing armies with his super powers, yet void of any suspense or sense of dread.  It’s a ninety-two minute movie that ends up feeling much longer than the running time.

Even when he dons the superhero costume, it's just dull

The opening is narrated by Vlad’s son, who tells of his father’s time as a political prisoner of the Turkish army.  Trained to fight for them, Vlad (Luke Evans, The Hobbit trilogy, Fast and Furious 6) earns the nickname The Impaler after leaving the bodies of the Turk’s enemies on spikes.

Now, ten years later, he’s the ruler of his homelands, married and with a young son.  He pays a tribute to the Turks to keep the peace, but is worried when signs of Turkish scouts appear within his borders.

Searching for the scouts, Vlad and his party investigate an isolated cave high on a mountain and encounter a powerful being that only Vlad is able to escape.  Speaking to a priest in his kingdom, Vlad is told this is the first vampire (Charles Dance, Game of Thrones), tricked by a demon and now cursed to remain within the cave unitl the end of time.  Oh, and the priest foretells this being will bring about the end of Vlad’s kingdom.

Yeah, it’s a “surprising” foreshadowing moment in the script, but you won’t be surprised how it turns out.

But that warning is enough to keep Vlad off the mountain, at least until he’s informed the Sultan wants more than his tribute.  With plans of future conquest, the Sultan’s emissary informs Vlad that he must supply him with young boys, new fodder for the Sultan’s army.  And his son will become a political prisoner, to insure Vlad’s compliance to this, and future, request. 

Vlad kills the soldiers sent to collect his son, than returns to the cave to implore the First Vampire to give him the power to smite his enemies.  The creature agrees, warning Vlad that he will have the power of a vampire for three days, as well as the blood lust.  Should he feed, he will become one of the undead, which will set the First Vampire free to hunt down the one that betrayed him.  But, should he abstain from drinking, he will return to his mortal state at dawn of the third day.

Yeah, trust this guy.  Than expect to defeat a nation in 

three days.  Even Tony Stark would have second thoughts.

Okay, you might think this review is spoiling too much of the movie, but if you can’t figure out were the story is going, then you might enjoy this film.  And all this occurs in the first half hour, or so, of the film.  I can’t really say how long it took before the rest of the film was spelled out for the audience, as I was surprised at how short the movie was.  The plot spoilers provided by the script could have occurred in the opening ten minutes, for all I know. 

And that’s the problem with this movie.  It lacks any sense of suspense or tension, as the audience already knows the outcome.  Vlad will resist the urge to drink blood, but events will prompt him to satisfy his thrist before the dawn of the third day.  We know who’s death will prompt this (remember, his son’s narration opens the film), so it’s only a matter of time before his wife (Sarah Gadon, The Amazing Spider-Man 2) bites it (sorry, could resist the pun).  And, though Gadon gives it her best, her death scene is so unbelievable that her imploring Vlad to drink will shatter any suspension of disbelief you might have at this point. 

I don't know why she wasn't credited as Sacrificial Lamb

It doesn’t help that the villains of the tale are cardboard cutouts, with no depth or interesting back-story.  As a contrast, Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man worked because the script also developed the Green Goblin as well as Spider-Man.  But the Turks are just evil because, well, they are, leaving us nothing to focus on but the journey of the film’s hero, whose fate is already determined.

Yes, his character is just evil.  No backstory, just EVIL!

I will say the acting is okay, but rather pointless, as the script doesn’t really give anyone a chance to shine.  Some of the CGI effects towards the end are nice looking, and at least the filmmakers didn’t shy away from Vlad’s signature forest of impaled victims.  All are presented in as gruesome a manner as the PG-13 rating will tolerate and I don’t have a problem with that.

My issue with the film is it spends all of its running time telling how Vlad becomes Dracula, but that’s already a forgone conclusion.  The script needed to deliver something more interesting.  But the focus is on spectacle, rather than story.  Vlad turns into a flock of bats, than back again into human form, so often it’s no longer impressive.  And as he controls a flock of real bats as a wrecking ball against an army, one has to wonder how the creatures of the night survived all the impacts against solid bodies in full armor.

As bad as this movie is, more worrisome is the ramifications for the future Universal Monster Universe.  And, in this section, I will revel a bit more than most readers might like, so beware.  SPOILERS AHEAD!

And, as a break, Luke Evan's best "I'm NOT Edward Collins" face.  

Sorry, doesn't really work.

Okay, this was bound to happen with a cohesive universe.  One has to have monsters that fight on the side of good, others on the side of evil.  And Dracula falls on the good side.  No, the filmmakers don’t go full Twilight, but his wife’s death, and his desire to protect his son from his vampire army, marks him as an anti-hero.  And, as the film ends, he is potentially reunited with his wife’s soul in a new body, only with the First Vampire trailing him and leaving us with cryptic line, “Let the games begin,” which sets Vlad up as the sensitive, trying to do good but forced to drink blood hero that Universal might hope will bring in female viewers, a la Twilight.

And this is the problem with Universal’s attempt to create a world in which their monsters interact.  The studio will pick the monsters to play the tragic hero, the absolute villain, and back them with enough CGI moments in an attempt to making the franchise another version of the Fast and Furious series. 

The Universal Monsters deserve better.  As the CLASSIC films show, these beings can be neither good nor bad, just misunderstood or cursed.  This is not a catalog of superheroes or supervillains, but creatures living within the limitations of their origins.  The Frankenstein Monster is the product of bad parenting and misunderstanding.  The Wolf Man is a human cursed to kill during the full moon, The Mummy longs for his true love, and The Creature from the Black Lagoon just wants to be left alone (at least until Julia Adams enters his lagoon).

Seriously, these monsters are MUCH MORE INTERESTING than

the sap coming to theaters tomorrow.

These are characters that more emotions when they are allowed to be amoral, beings beyond our concept of right or wrong, just the basic human emotions of desire, whether for acceptance, a mate or just not to kill during the full moon.

But, if Dracula Untold is any indication, we’re about to be introduced to a new set of Universal Monsters, where the battle lines are drawn.  A superhero verses supervillain smack down of epic CGI proportions. 

It’s too bad Universal doesn’t seem willing to try another route, one with engaging stories and characters that transcends CGI effects and rigid moral guidelines.  Should Dracula Untold be the future of the Universal Monsters, I dread the results, but not in the right way.  

All Hell Breaks Loose (2014)

Low budget genre films don’t fail based on acting, sets and effects.  Success rest on the script, as well as the filmmaker’s ability to recognize their limitations and find creative ways to deal with a shortage of preproduction time, a limited shooting schedule and finding engaging talent willing to be underpaid, if paid at all.

The filmmakers behind All Hell Breaks Loose avoid those common pitfalls and deliver a great slice of cheesy fun.  The script, by The Vocabulariast, is fast paced and contains some solid offbeat humor.  And first time feature director Jeremy Garner delivers a terrific looking film, with solid performances, decent looking effects and a quick pace that keeps the audience engaged, rather than looking for production shortcomings.

The plot mixes biker exploitation films, horror and bits of splatstick.  A group of bikers, released from Hell to corrupt innocent women for the Devil, come across newlyweds Nick (Nick Forrest) and Bobbie Sue (Sarah Kobel Marquette).  Nick is killed and the bikers ride off with Bobbie Sue.

However, God (Joseph Sullivan) is willing to give Nick a second chance to be the hero and resurrects him to save Bobbie Sue from eternal damnation.  But Nick isn’t really an action hero and continues to need divine intervention.

Well, if at first you don't succeed...

Sure, you might find a few problems with the story, like why God doesn't give Nick a few hints on how to take the bikers down.  But that would have deprived the film of some great moments, and it’s too much fun watching Nick try saving Bobbie Sue, only to fall short every time.  If you let such minor plot points ruin this film for you, you’re probably watching the wrong movie.

Also helping sell this absurd concept is the terrific work by the entire cast.  Joshua Lee Frazier is great as the lead biker, Sundown, especially as he talks to Nick’s corpse, trying to convince him not to come back.  He knows Nick’s efforts will be futile, and his sincerity to try and save the man from further pain (and death) is touching in a way.  Forrest is great playing the hapless hero, and Sullivan is perfect as a rather uncaring God.  Though these actors standout, thanks to their roles, the rest of the cast is quite good and really sells the absurd action and humor in the script. 

Seriously, I'd tell you not to get back up, but that would

really hamper the film's running time.

The gore effects, a mix of practical makeup and CGI, look better than one might expect from a low budget film.  The sets look fine, with a nice mix of locations shots and sets.  And the film has plenty of homages to other horror films, which should bring a smile to fans.  Just wait for Nick's uses of condoms filled with Holy Water, a great riff on the final battle in From Dusk Till Dawn. 

Another nice touch is Garner’s use of grain to simulate the experience of watching a slightly worn 35mm film.  The effect is very unobtrusive, unlike its use in other grindhouse homage films, and you will likely not really notice it a quarter of the way into the film.  But it’s a nice touch, giving the film a nice feel, and Garner’s restraint keeps it from becoming a gimmick. 

Yeah, someone's in trouble....

If you get the chance, check out All Hell Breaks Loose at Cinema 21 on October 3 at 10 pm.  It’s a fine slice of cheesy fun, filled with solid performances, plenty of quirky humor, and is more engaging than most low budget genre features dumped onto home video these days.

For advanced tickets, check out the Cinema 21 website.

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As is my policy at The Shadow Over Portland, I need to state that I viewed a screener of the film online.  I was able to watch the film without incurring any cost to myself, and in a venue not available to casual viewers.

Also, my interview with the director and scriptwriter took place after I saw the film, though the interview was posted first.  The delay in writing and posting this review is my fault, though life and a day job played a role.

That said, I enjoyed All Hell Breaks Loose and hope readers able to attend the Portland premiere enjoy it as well.

Interview with Jeremy Garner, director and Thevocab Ulariast, writer of All Hell Breaks Loose.

Last week, I was able to sit down with Jeremy Garner and Thevocab Ulariast, the team behind All Hell Breaks Loose, which has its Portland premiere at Cinema 21 on Friday, October 3, at 10 pm.

The Shadow Over Portland:  I’m talking with the creators of the exploitation tribute, at least that’s what I assume it is, All Hell Breaks Loose.  Now, I know this is a Portland premiere, but is this bigger that that?  Or have you shown it elsewhere?

Jeremy Garner: The world premiere was in Eugene (Oregon), where the majority of the cast and crew are from.   This is the Portland premiere.

TSOP: Vocab, this is the first movie you worked on.  Where did you find the inspiration for the script?

Thevocab Ulariast: Well, a friend of ours, Joseph (he plays God in the movie), he rides a motorcycle.  And he asked Jeremy if he wanted to make a biker movie.   We had the resources, and had been working on some short films, so Jeremy asked if I wanted to write a biker movie. 

In my style, I wanted to be left alone with it as I wrote it.  And the only thing Jeremy asked is to have a séance in it.  And that drove to me where I went with it.

I didn’t want it to be like Sons of Anarchy, or Dear God, No.  So I came up with an amalgamation of the movies that I love, enjoy and think are funny. 

TSOP:  Jeremy, you produced and worked on special effects on several films shot in Eugene.  Is this your first time directing?

JG: This is the first feature film I’ve directed.  I’ve directed shorts, which no one ever saw, but it’s my first feature film. 

TSOP:  What was the difference between producing, or working on special effects, and directing?

JG:  It was pretty crazy.  We didn’t have much of a budget and everything you’re doing is tenfold.

As far as locations, casting, what I had to prepare to do for effects, it was hard.  Everyone involved in production had to wear many different hats, which was difficult. 

TSOP: Vocab, were you working on the film as well?

TU: Like Jeremy said, everyone was wearing a bunch of hats and I helped out with every aspect of the film, except for editing and sound effects. 

When I was on set, I’d try to work with the actors on their lines and try to make sure they hit them right.  A lot of the jokes in the script are about the timing and the way the lines are delivered.  I think we did a pretty good job with that, and the actors responded to that and that was my most important part on the film, other than being around and doing all sorts of little things on the set to make it work.

TSOP: Jeremy, you said you didn’t have much of a budget, but you have some really nice bikes in the movie.  Did you find people who had them, or did you know of actors with bikes and told them you were making the film?

JG: Like Vocab said, Justin Sullivan, who plays God in the movie, he rides and is in a motorcycle club.  He was able to put us in contact with a large motorcycle club in Oregon that was willing to help us out.

 

TSOP: Where you able to find enough actors in Eugene, or were you able to pull from actors in Portland?

JG: As I said, we’ve been working on short films for a while, so we have a pretty good core group of people we work with on a regular basis.  And for some of the larger roles, like Statch, we did a Portland casting call and were lucky to find the perfect people for it.

 

TSOP: The movie has an obviously intentional warped sense of humor.  Vocab, did you find yourself reigning in the humor?  Did you ever think you were going too far?  Or did you just decide to go as far as you can?

TU: My intention with everything I write is to go as far as I can.  In my dealings with scripts, it limits the people willing to take a chance on it.  Jeremy’s one of the few people I know that says, “I like that, let’s do it.”  And the film is pretty close to what’s on the page.  We didn’t really cut anything out, other than for time, or the end standards not being what we wanted.  Everything that’s in the film is on the page.

There were a couple things the actors added in, which were pretty hilarious, like the scene where the bartender keeps getting slapped on the butt.  It wasn’t planned, I didn’t add it in there, but it adds a nice touch.  The actors put their own flavor into their roles and got into the hilarious meanness of the movie.  I’m pretty happy with it.  And no, I never had to reign myself in on anything.

TSOP: Jeremy, where did you find the locations?  There’s a scene in a bar.  What did you do to get that location?

JG: Goggle Earth was my friend.  I scoured the state looking for the perfect locations for the riding sequences, which, if you watch old biker films, always have an Arizona/New Mexico look to them.  And the great thing about Oregon is you’ve got deserts, you have mountains, you have the ocean.  You have every thing you could possible need in this state.

The exterior of the bar we found in this logging town called Noti.  I called up the owner and they were awesome.  They let us come out and take over the place for an entire weekend.  We shot all of our exteriors there.  For the interior, we used a motorcycle club’s clubhouse. 

TSOP: I called this an exploitation film homage, and it looks it.  You put a grainy texture into the film.  Was that purposeful, or were you just having fun?  And what did you do to make this look like a movie you’d see in a grindhouse theater?

JG: Well, I didn’t want to take the Rodriguez/Tarantino approach and overdo it.  I wanted to give it the look of being period dated, but not really.  I added the things I enjoy about watching old films, like the 35mm grain and dust on old prints.  But I purposely stayed away from doing film burns, scratches and hair, because I don’t want to have people comparing my movie to Planet Terror.  And I didn’t want it to come across as gimmicky. 

But, at the same time, I’m a fanboy.  I wanted the film to have to have that look, without being in your face. 

TSOP: Vocab, do you plan to write another script in the near future?

TU: I have scripts out there, but they’re all like All Hell Breaks Loose, weird and quirky.  I had one reviewer call the film “uncategorizable,” which is how all my scripts are, weird, funny violent and unique.  All Hell Breaks Loose is an exploitation biker film, but I don’t think you’ll find someone to write it like I did, with the weirdness, humor and oddball jokes here and there.

I try to sell my scripts, but people don’t get them.  The one time I had someone try to buy one from me, they had me rewrite it, and it took all the heart out of the script.  That really killed me and made me done with Hollywood.  I only want to work with Jeremy, or any other director that might understand what the hell I’m trying to do.  That one experience of cannibalizing my own work really pissed me off and I’m not into it. 

TSOP: It looked like the film poked fun at some other movies.  For example, the holy water in the condoms sequence seemed a little joke at the moment in From Dusk Till Dawn. 

JG: There’s only so much you can do with holy water.  Just the fact that the priest is an alcoholic pervert made the condoms come across as the perfect vessel for his holy water. 

TSOP:  I just loved the fact that the condoms wouldn’t break on impact with the bikers, which makes sense.  I was watching the scene and thinking, “Oh, that’s good.”

TU: I was playing with that, like it could be a weapon.  But in reality, you have to fill a condom with a lot of water to make it break on impact.  And I think that’s funnier, that it’s realistic.  We have so much silly stuff going on, when that dose of realism hits, it become hilarious. 

JG: The first time I read that, it was Vocab’s personality coming through.  His humor is to add insult to injury.  That describes it perfectly. 

TSOP: Jeremy, the film uses both practical and CG effects.  Did you try to stay with practical as much as possible, or was it based on the film’s budget?

JG: It was a little bit of both.  Everything was planned out for us to do the effects practically, but on set, we were all wearing different hats.  I planned on doing all the effects, but we had a three-week shooting schedule on this feature film.  And a lot of the effects ended up looking like garbage.  We had to go to digital to add to the practical effects that didn’t quite come across the way I wanted them to.  Every effect in the film is practical, but with digital overlaid to complement it, except for a few shots that weren’t obtainable with our budget.

It was a lesson learned, you can’t do everything yourself.  Directing is a big enough job.  I can’t wait for the next film.  There will be a crew, effects and makeup artists. 

I’m not totally against digital effects.  I think they can be nice, and add to practical effects, if you can get them mixed properly. 

TSOP: Vocab, you take some pretty humorous potshots at religion in this film, especially with the end.  And let’s not spoil it!  Where did that part of the film come from?

TU: I’m not quite sure where it came from, other than the fact that I’m not really religious and the idea of superhuman beings deciding the fate of our lives is pretty humorous to me.  Because I’m a non-believer, I find humor in religion.  And twisting religious ideals to mess with an audience makes me laugh on the inside. 

I know the people who watch our movies won’t be the most religious people, so I felt I was safe.  I’m not trying to offend anyone, it’s just my personal humor and I think horror fans will get it. 

TSOP: So, what’s next for you guys?

JG: Our next big project is Desecration. 

TSOP: Is that one you wrote, Vocab?

TU: No, and I want to give the writer credit, but I can’t remember his name.

JG: It was Michael Shelton.  We purchased the script and, with his approval, rewrote it to fit our style.

TU: I took what was a really nasty, brutal script and injected humor into it.  It’s irreverent, weird and, once again,  “uncategorizable,” which is a weird word to say.  But that’s what I like.  I’ve done movie reviews before, I’ve done a lot of studying into what makes a cult movie, and I have a certain philosophy I write by, because my idea is to make everything a cult movie.  Make it so weird, so bizarre, yet so accessible that people will enjoy it, even if they didn’t think they would. 

With All Hell Breaks Loose, you say it’s a biker exploitation movie and people will say, “It’s not really my thing.”  Than they watch it and enjoy it because it has elements that are funny and enjoyable.  So with Desecration, I feel I took that script and did the same thing.  It remains to be seen how we shoot it. 

TSOP: When does shooting start?

JG: It’s all about money at this point.  We have to recoup some of our funds from All Hell Breaks Loose, and as soon as we can do that, we’ll get started.

TSOP: What was your biggest difficulty in getting All Hell Breaks Loose filmed?

JG: The biggest difficulty I had was having such a large cast that was unpaid, or underpaid, and getting all these people together at the same time.  Everyone has day jobs, everyone has families.  I needed three weeks out of their life and that was difficult. 

TSOP: So this was shot in three weeks, not over a series of weekends?

JG: No.  I’ve worked on plenty of feature films that have stretched out over a year, shooting on weekends, because the filmmakers are working with low budgets.  I didn’t want to fall into the pitfalls involved with that, so I decided whoever was cast would have to guarantee me three weeks time, so we could get the film shot and done. 

TSOP: All Hell Breaks Loose screens at Cinema 21 at 10 pm on October 3.  How do you think the screening will go?

TU:  I think we’re gonna pack the place.  There will be lots of beer around, lots of laughs.  I think it will be great. 

One thing I want to point out is, this isn’t a movie where you sit and watch quietly.  This is rough and rowdy.  Go to the movie drunk, laugh and scream and have fun.  That’s what we want to see. 

TSOP: I assume you both will be at the screening.  Will any members of the cast be there as well?

TU: I think the majority of the cast will be there.  Definitely Ehren “Danger” McGhehey will be there.  Nick Forrest, who plays the hero, and Joseph Sullivan, who plays God, will be there.  April Mai, who is our wonderful kidnapped stripper will be there.  So, if you want to meet everyone, be there.  October 3, 10 pm at Cinema 21. 

TSOP: Will you be selling DVDs at the screening?

TU: Probably not.  Right now, we are looking into different genre distribution companies that might be interesting in the film, so we’re holding off on selling any physical copies at this time. 

TSOP: Where can people find you on the web?

TU: I run a website called moviecynics.com, and my information is on the website.  I have a Facebook page called Thevocab Ularious and on Twitter I have @vocabularious. 

JG: I’m on Facebook.  You can find search All Hell Breaks Loose film and look us up under Frenetic Films Production on Facebook. 

TSOP:  Well, thank you both for your time and I hope the screening of All Hell Breaks Loose is a success.

TU: Thank you.

JG: Thanks.

The Portland premiere of All Hell Breaks Loose takes place at Cinema 21 on October 3 at 10 pm.