Well, I finished Death Troopers and have to say that zombies should have stayed out of the Star Wars universe. Or at least found a writer that didn't seem to be cashing in on a current trend.
The basic plot is a prison ship, on it's way to a penal colony, looses power and decides to raid an abandoned Star Destroyer for parts. Of course, they bring back a disease that kills 99% of the crew, only to reanimate them with a powerful hunger for flesh. The survivors (including a space pirate and his hairy first mate) take refuge on the Star Destroyer and discover the ship isn't as abandoned as once suspected.
This book is rather pedestrian and uninspired. The plot is poorly paced, as the zombies don't start showing up until midway through the book. Instead, the author wastes time on dull, overly long character development that feels a bit pointless, as the new main characters are not very memorable. And the teenage brothers feel written into the story for demographic reasons alone.
The zombies show some potential, as the disease allows the author to tailor the creatures to the Star Wars Universe. These suckers are rather fast, able to communicate and slowly retain the skills they learned while alive. In short, the longer they are undead, the better they are able to use blasters and, eventually, pilot ships. And we are treated to a brief encounter with a group of zombie Wookies, which is pretty cool. Unfortunately, this is one of the few times the author puts the Star Wars setting to good use.
I could overlook the shortcomings of this book if it didn't feel like a simplistic attempt to cash in on the current zombie craze. The few gruesome scenes of zombie action don't add anything to the story, other than the required "ick" moment. And, as I mentioned earlier, the author doesn't use the Star Wars universe to any advantage. It all feels like an hollow exercise in marketing, hammered home by the ad at the back of the book (after the preview to another Star Wars novel) offering you the chance to continue fighting the zombie horde in the Star Wars online game.
And the author didn't bother to put a Jedi Knight on either ship!!! He blew a great opportunity for a zombie horde vs. Jedi with a Light Saber scene. Blasters are basically space shotguns and not too exciting as most everyone, including the zombies, end up armed at some point. The story needed someone like Yoda, bouncing off the walls in a blur of glowing death, making mincemeat out of a crowd of zombies. Or a zombie Jedi, slowly relearning how to use a Light Saber to block blaster fire. Too bad the author dropped the ball on this one.
Might be worth a read if you find it at your local library or at a used book store. But I'd recommend avoiding it and searching out better zombie (and Star Wars) novels. It's books like these that will lead to the death of the undead (for a while).
Next up: Zombies and comics.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
The current Hollywood business model and the demise of off beat cinema
Lately, I've read a lot of online articles about the state of blockbusters and family entertainment and how such a narrow focus is ruining movies. But I think these articles are missing the main problem. If you think about it, the fault lies in the current business model adopted by the studios, which is leading to the blockbuster/family trend invading the cineplexes and forcing out smaller, independent films.
I think the studios are trying to maximize each movie's potential return by thinking like a short term trader. First, each movie is designed to make a shitload of cash on opening weekend. This involves making the film more of an event than anything else, and opening it in as many theaters as possible (often on two or more screens in the same multiplex). Then, as income trails off after the opening week, pull most of the prints, allow it to be shown on a few screens, but open the main theaters for the next cash cow. Every film is designed with the intent of generating massive returns in a short time, then dramatically scaling back the release to make way for the next blockbuster.
This strategy is also affecting home releases. The studios have closed the gap between a feature's theatrical run and home video release and want to tighten it further. Look at the outcry from theater owners in Britain when Disney announced the home release date for Alice in Wonderland by 5 weeks. Back when VHS releases became affordable for home purchase, you might wait up to a year before a film hit the market.
A shorter release window makes sense, if you subscribe to the idea of studios acting like short term brokers. The quicker the home release date, the faster the return comes in on your investment. And a quicker release date probably means more impulse buys, as the movie is fresh in the minds of consumers.
Of course, to maximize the profitability of any movie, one has to appeal to the largest demographic possible. As the teenage market seems to be fading (thanks to online sources, if you believe the studio's stance), Hollywood is targeting the family market. And, if you want a big return, it makes sense. A family of four attending the latest 3D cartoon will likely spend more than $100 at one screening (tickets, snacks, glasses, etc.). And you have a built-in audience for the DVD release, as the kids will want to watch the film at home, again and again.
The search for the largest audience is also the reason why most films try for a PG-13 rating, rather than an R. Families can go (with older children) and teens can walk into the film without a parent. The downside is that leaves anyone looking for something different are forced to wait for the months of late August to early November, or January to April, if they want something with more bite, intelligence or weirdness.
Unfortunately, that window is narrowing. The summer blockbuster season starts earlier each year (Iron Man 2 was released in early May, weeks before the traditional Memorial Day start of the big movie season). And often, the movies that make it to the theaters after the winter big releases tend to be blockbusters gone bad (seen the preview for The Green Hornet yet?), rather than low budget or independent films.
You can spend a lot of time blaming blockbuster and family movies for the lack of decent films coming out of Hollywood. But I believe it's the studios sticking to a model that will generate the greatest amount of money in the shortest amount of time.
I think the studios are trying to maximize each movie's potential return by thinking like a short term trader. First, each movie is designed to make a shitload of cash on opening weekend. This involves making the film more of an event than anything else, and opening it in as many theaters as possible (often on two or more screens in the same multiplex). Then, as income trails off after the opening week, pull most of the prints, allow it to be shown on a few screens, but open the main theaters for the next cash cow. Every film is designed with the intent of generating massive returns in a short time, then dramatically scaling back the release to make way for the next blockbuster.
This strategy is also affecting home releases. The studios have closed the gap between a feature's theatrical run and home video release and want to tighten it further. Look at the outcry from theater owners in Britain when Disney announced the home release date for Alice in Wonderland by 5 weeks. Back when VHS releases became affordable for home purchase, you might wait up to a year before a film hit the market.
A shorter release window makes sense, if you subscribe to the idea of studios acting like short term brokers. The quicker the home release date, the faster the return comes in on your investment. And a quicker release date probably means more impulse buys, as the movie is fresh in the minds of consumers.
Of course, to maximize the profitability of any movie, one has to appeal to the largest demographic possible. As the teenage market seems to be fading (thanks to online sources, if you believe the studio's stance), Hollywood is targeting the family market. And, if you want a big return, it makes sense. A family of four attending the latest 3D cartoon will likely spend more than $100 at one screening (tickets, snacks, glasses, etc.). And you have a built-in audience for the DVD release, as the kids will want to watch the film at home, again and again.
The search for the largest audience is also the reason why most films try for a PG-13 rating, rather than an R. Families can go (with older children) and teens can walk into the film without a parent. The downside is that leaves anyone looking for something different are forced to wait for the months of late August to early November, or January to April, if they want something with more bite, intelligence or weirdness.
Unfortunately, that window is narrowing. The summer blockbuster season starts earlier each year (Iron Man 2 was released in early May, weeks before the traditional Memorial Day start of the big movie season). And often, the movies that make it to the theaters after the winter big releases tend to be blockbusters gone bad (seen the preview for The Green Hornet yet?), rather than low budget or independent films.
You can spend a lot of time blaming blockbuster and family movies for the lack of decent films coming out of Hollywood. But I believe it's the studios sticking to a model that will generate the greatest amount of money in the shortest amount of time.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Last House of the Left (2009)
Well, I had a free rental from Redbox Monday night, so I decided to check out 2009's Last House on the Left. I was curious about this one, as Craven's original film was just not that good. The pacing was uneven, some of the acting was awful and the buffoonish cops were jarring. Without the incredible onscreen brutality, and the controversy it generated, this film would be sold in one of those 50 film Mill Creek collections.
To my surprise, this film manages to improve upon the original, thanks to a tighter script and a strong cast. But before we celebrate the end of the bad remake curse, I have to warn you that the movie does stumble quite a bit and comes is rather bland. Part of it is the simple "been there, seen that" factor, as the basic story remains the same. But a few small changes introduced in the script come off as unnecessary and awkward.
Now, it's hard not to discuss where remake stumbles and succeeds without delving into spoiler territory. However, the trailers pretty much ruined the movie for me (more on that later) by giving away several key elements, so I don't feel too bad mentioning them here. But, be warned, here come the SPOILERS!
The film starts as Krug is being transported to prison by two plainclothes policemen, until he's rescue by his gang. Before fleeing the scene, Krug chokes one of the cops to death while holding a picture of the man's children in front of his bulging eyes. It's a pretty nasty scene, but absolutely unnecessary. By showing how brutal Krug and his gang can act, the scene spoils the impact of their actions later in the movie.
Anyway, the movie switches to the Collingwoods (John, Emma and daughter Mari), as they head to their isolated vacation home. The family is still reeling from the death of the Collingwood's son, who recently died in an accident. Mari borrows the family car and heads into town to meet up with her friend Paige. The two meet a teenage boy, Justin, who invites them back to his hotel room for a bit of a party, as Justin has some pot. Everything is fine, until Justin's dad, Krug, shows up.
The gang is in need of a new vehicle and Mari's SUV fits the bill. Krug decides to teach Justin a lesson in responsibility (as he shouldn't have brought guests to the hotel) by kidnapping the two girls. While driving down the forest roads, Mari tries to escape as the vehicle passes her house. The SUV wrecks and the gang takes their anger out on the girls. Paige is stabbed in the stomach and left to bleed to death, while Mari is raped by Krug.
I have to interject for a moment. I watched the unrated version and I believe this scene was trimmed to appease the MPAA. As presented in the unrated version, this is the most uncomfortable, graphic and brutal moment of the movie. While the original slowly escalates with several individual acts of degradation, the remake drives the gang's cruelty home in one knockout moment.
Mari staggers away from the gang and makes it to the lake. As a member of her school swim team, she's pretty fast and almost makes her escape. But she can't out swim a bullet and is left to die after Krug shoots her.
Stranded in a sudden storm and in need of medical attention, the gang stumble upon the Collingwood house. John is an ER doctor, so he stitches up Francis, who's taking quite an interest in Emma. Emma, however, is more interested in Justin, strictly in a maternal sense. Justin sees Mari's photo on the fridge and, full of remorse, leaves Mari's necklace in the kitchen around his coco mug. While my description sounds rushed, the movie builds slowly here, allowing the gang to come off as normal, while the Collingwoods start to sense something wrong with their guests.
As the house is now isolated from the rest of the world (phone and power lines are down, no car and shoddy cell reception), John and Emma let the gang stay in their guest house. After setting the gang up for the night, they discover Mari, near death, on the porch. They bring her into the house, where John struggles to save her without access to proper medical tools.
This is the strongest part of the movie, in my opinion, and justifies keeping Mari alive. John is forced to cauterize the gunshot wound and re-inflate a lung with household items. Then, while looking for other wounds, he discovers evidence that Mari was raped. It's a powerful moment, as you see John's emotional state run the gambit from dedicated surgeon to distressed parent to flat out rage after Emma informs him that Justin left Mari's necklace in the kitchen.
The Collingwoods decide to take their boat and get Mari to the hospital, leaving the gang for the police to arrest later. Now, we all know that's not going to happen, as Francis is looking for a drink and some loving, and the keys to the boat have been misplaced.
So, of course, mayhem ensues.
As I mentioned, the remake is full of moments that work well. The violence is brutal and very realistic (up until the climax, where yet another character dies, only to come back up again). And the script wisely avoids any attempt to defuse the building tension with comic relief.
But the film stumbles badly with Justin. It's not the fault of the actor, by any means. It's just that the character's presence is unwarranted. As both an aid or a surrogate son to the Collingwoods, Justin turns out to be as jarring as the idiot cops in the original.
And, as I mentioned above, most of the surprises are spoiled by the trailer. If you saw it, you know Mari survives and you know Krug's fate. Yes, the trailer gave away the end of the movie! I have no idea why studios feel the need to show you everything in the trailer, but I wish they would stop. As with Paranormal Activity and Quarantine, showing most of the highlights will ruin a film's impact.
For the most part, this remake isn't bad. But while the film is stronger than the original in some regards, the addition of Justin shows that Hollywood just can't leave well enough alone. Worth a cheap rental, but nothing more.
To my surprise, this film manages to improve upon the original, thanks to a tighter script and a strong cast. But before we celebrate the end of the bad remake curse, I have to warn you that the movie does stumble quite a bit and comes is rather bland. Part of it is the simple "been there, seen that" factor, as the basic story remains the same. But a few small changes introduced in the script come off as unnecessary and awkward.
Now, it's hard not to discuss where remake stumbles and succeeds without delving into spoiler territory. However, the trailers pretty much ruined the movie for me (more on that later) by giving away several key elements, so I don't feel too bad mentioning them here. But, be warned, here come the SPOILERS!
The film starts as Krug is being transported to prison by two plainclothes policemen, until he's rescue by his gang. Before fleeing the scene, Krug chokes one of the cops to death while holding a picture of the man's children in front of his bulging eyes. It's a pretty nasty scene, but absolutely unnecessary. By showing how brutal Krug and his gang can act, the scene spoils the impact of their actions later in the movie.
Anyway, the movie switches to the Collingwoods (John, Emma and daughter Mari), as they head to their isolated vacation home. The family is still reeling from the death of the Collingwood's son, who recently died in an accident. Mari borrows the family car and heads into town to meet up with her friend Paige. The two meet a teenage boy, Justin, who invites them back to his hotel room for a bit of a party, as Justin has some pot. Everything is fine, until Justin's dad, Krug, shows up.
The gang is in need of a new vehicle and Mari's SUV fits the bill. Krug decides to teach Justin a lesson in responsibility (as he shouldn't have brought guests to the hotel) by kidnapping the two girls. While driving down the forest roads, Mari tries to escape as the vehicle passes her house. The SUV wrecks and the gang takes their anger out on the girls. Paige is stabbed in the stomach and left to bleed to death, while Mari is raped by Krug.
I have to interject for a moment. I watched the unrated version and I believe this scene was trimmed to appease the MPAA. As presented in the unrated version, this is the most uncomfortable, graphic and brutal moment of the movie. While the original slowly escalates with several individual acts of degradation, the remake drives the gang's cruelty home in one knockout moment.
Mari staggers away from the gang and makes it to the lake. As a member of her school swim team, she's pretty fast and almost makes her escape. But she can't out swim a bullet and is left to die after Krug shoots her.
Stranded in a sudden storm and in need of medical attention, the gang stumble upon the Collingwood house. John is an ER doctor, so he stitches up Francis, who's taking quite an interest in Emma. Emma, however, is more interested in Justin, strictly in a maternal sense. Justin sees Mari's photo on the fridge and, full of remorse, leaves Mari's necklace in the kitchen around his coco mug. While my description sounds rushed, the movie builds slowly here, allowing the gang to come off as normal, while the Collingwoods start to sense something wrong with their guests.
As the house is now isolated from the rest of the world (phone and power lines are down, no car and shoddy cell reception), John and Emma let the gang stay in their guest house. After setting the gang up for the night, they discover Mari, near death, on the porch. They bring her into the house, where John struggles to save her without access to proper medical tools.
This is the strongest part of the movie, in my opinion, and justifies keeping Mari alive. John is forced to cauterize the gunshot wound and re-inflate a lung with household items. Then, while looking for other wounds, he discovers evidence that Mari was raped. It's a powerful moment, as you see John's emotional state run the gambit from dedicated surgeon to distressed parent to flat out rage after Emma informs him that Justin left Mari's necklace in the kitchen.
The Collingwoods decide to take their boat and get Mari to the hospital, leaving the gang for the police to arrest later. Now, we all know that's not going to happen, as Francis is looking for a drink and some loving, and the keys to the boat have been misplaced.
So, of course, mayhem ensues.
As I mentioned, the remake is full of moments that work well. The violence is brutal and very realistic (up until the climax, where yet another character dies, only to come back up again). And the script wisely avoids any attempt to defuse the building tension with comic relief.
But the film stumbles badly with Justin. It's not the fault of the actor, by any means. It's just that the character's presence is unwarranted. As both an aid or a surrogate son to the Collingwoods, Justin turns out to be as jarring as the idiot cops in the original.
And, as I mentioned above, most of the surprises are spoiled by the trailer. If you saw it, you know Mari survives and you know Krug's fate. Yes, the trailer gave away the end of the movie! I have no idea why studios feel the need to show you everything in the trailer, but I wish they would stop. As with Paranormal Activity and Quarantine, showing most of the highlights will ruin a film's impact.
For the most part, this remake isn't bad. But while the film is stronger than the original in some regards, the addition of Justin shows that Hollywood just can't leave well enough alone. Worth a cheap rental, but nothing more.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Mega Piranha (2010)
Okay, I've not seen the epic Birdemic, but Mega Piranha is likely the next best thing. This is one of the silliest, lamest efforts yet released by Troma.... Oooops, I mean The Asylem, and my face still hurts from grinning. Yes, it's so bad it could be considered a lot of fun.
Okay, the plot. Scientists, working in Venezuela, are trying to increase the food supply. So, naturally, they start tampering with piranha in order to help eliminate hunger in South America. The film never explains why, but I suspect that Mega Carp wouldn't be that exciting a title.
As you might imagine, the buggers get loose and start heading towards the ocean. And, while the scientists didn't breed them to live in the ocean, nature finds a way and soon, it's Navy Seals verse armored (oh, yea, the fish's scales have thickened, making them impervious to even nuclear weapons) piranha for control of the Florida Keys.
Now, if the fish stayed in the water, eating boats and Navy vessels, that would be silly enough. But the piranha are willing to beach themselves for tasty tidbits and eventually begin launching themselves into buildings to satisfy their ravenous hunger in scenes reminiscent of the Birdemic trailer. Warehouses explode, harbors are destroyed and, in the climax, giant piranha are ramming themselves into Florida seaside condos. All of this in very sub par CGI (if you think the fish in Alexendre Aja's upcoming Piranha 3D looks bad, you ain't see nothing yet).
If you're grinning from the above description, go rent this movie. If not, avoid it at all costs.
The acting is abysmal. The commander of a nuclear sub looks like he just stepped off the stage from a high school play. Tiffany (yes, the ex-pop star) comes off better than Debbie Gibson in Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, but that's not saying much. And Barry Williams (as Secretary Grady; get it?) looks absolutely bored throughout the entire movie.
But they all pale compared to the hero, played by Paul Logan. A 2 X 4 would give an Oscar winning performance compared to him. Sure, he might be trying to channel Dirty Harry or Snake Plissken, but he falls painfully short of the mark. His performance is so monotone, so unexciting, that it's painful to watch at times.
But, for fans of bad cinema, this film is a treasure trove of chuckle inducing moments. Like when Logan is on his back, kicking away an army of piranha leaping out of the water after him. Or the giant piranha stuck in the side of a beachfront condo. Or the murky waters of the Orinoco River, which at times look like the crystal clear waters of a coral reef. Or Logan defending himself from an underwater piranha attack with a knife. Oh, and I have to mention the piranha swimming down the river, leaping like a school of salmon. My face still hurts from laughing fit I had over that scene.
Look, it's not for everyone. It's not very gory (no surprise, as it was a Syfy movie) and it defies all attempts at seriousness. But for lovers of bad films, it's a great late night treat. It's the cinematic equivalent of an extra large, extra greasy cheese pizza, served at the right temperature and perfect for a night with a few friends and a good supply of beer. Dig in and have fun, if you dare!
Okay, the plot. Scientists, working in Venezuela, are trying to increase the food supply. So, naturally, they start tampering with piranha in order to help eliminate hunger in South America. The film never explains why, but I suspect that Mega Carp wouldn't be that exciting a title.
As you might imagine, the buggers get loose and start heading towards the ocean. And, while the scientists didn't breed them to live in the ocean, nature finds a way and soon, it's Navy Seals verse armored (oh, yea, the fish's scales have thickened, making them impervious to even nuclear weapons) piranha for control of the Florida Keys.
Now, if the fish stayed in the water, eating boats and Navy vessels, that would be silly enough. But the piranha are willing to beach themselves for tasty tidbits and eventually begin launching themselves into buildings to satisfy their ravenous hunger in scenes reminiscent of the Birdemic trailer. Warehouses explode, harbors are destroyed and, in the climax, giant piranha are ramming themselves into Florida seaside condos. All of this in very sub par CGI (if you think the fish in Alexendre Aja's upcoming Piranha 3D looks bad, you ain't see nothing yet).
If you're grinning from the above description, go rent this movie. If not, avoid it at all costs.
The acting is abysmal. The commander of a nuclear sub looks like he just stepped off the stage from a high school play. Tiffany (yes, the ex-pop star) comes off better than Debbie Gibson in Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, but that's not saying much. And Barry Williams (as Secretary Grady; get it?) looks absolutely bored throughout the entire movie.
But they all pale compared to the hero, played by Paul Logan. A 2 X 4 would give an Oscar winning performance compared to him. Sure, he might be trying to channel Dirty Harry or Snake Plissken, but he falls painfully short of the mark. His performance is so monotone, so unexciting, that it's painful to watch at times.
But, for fans of bad cinema, this film is a treasure trove of chuckle inducing moments. Like when Logan is on his back, kicking away an army of piranha leaping out of the water after him. Or the giant piranha stuck in the side of a beachfront condo. Or the murky waters of the Orinoco River, which at times look like the crystal clear waters of a coral reef. Or Logan defending himself from an underwater piranha attack with a knife. Oh, and I have to mention the piranha swimming down the river, leaping like a school of salmon. My face still hurts from laughing fit I had over that scene.
Look, it's not for everyone. It's not very gory (no surprise, as it was a Syfy movie) and it defies all attempts at seriousness. But for lovers of bad films, it's a great late night treat. It's the cinematic equivalent of an extra large, extra greasy cheese pizza, served at the right temperature and perfect for a night with a few friends and a good supply of beer. Dig in and have fun, if you dare!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
I Gamed with A Zombie! Part Two
As mentioned in my earlier post, May of the Dead (held on May 31 at Guardian Games) was a great opportunity to try out zombie and undead themed games. But I also had a chance to talk with Martin Vavra of Galaxy Sailor Productions, who showed up to promote his web series, The Last Stand.
The series deals with the survivors of an airborne virus that killed millions. The virus mutated, reactivating the dead and turning them into rabid zombies. The disease, now spread through the zombie's bodily fluids, is poised to infect the rest of the population unless the survivors can find a safe place to bunker down.
This web series is filmed here in Portland, though Vavra mentioned that not many residents know about the show. So I'm spreading the word. The first two episodes (available on Daily Motion through July 19th) are well shot, nicely written and are a bleak, uncompromising depiction of humanity after the fall. I wish I knew more about the fate of the survivors that didn't make it to episode two. But those events seems likely to come back and haunt the current cast later in the series.
Much more ambitious than a zombie shoot 'em up series, I recommend checking out The Last Stand. I think Portland zombie fans will find a lot to like about this home grown effort. The episodes revert back to TheLastStandOnline.com after July 19th, and more episodes are on the way. The website also has lots of information about the series, so be sure to visit. I'll post any new developments as they become available.
Back to the games. I tried out another local product, the RPG Cannibal Contagion. At the start of the game, players are given randomly generated characters, each with randomly generated abilities and psycho-triggers. The game master then sets up a scenario where the characters are about to die, and it's your job to prevent such an outcome.
Battle is handled by playing your hand of cards (a standard deck of cards with Jokers included) against the game master's hand. You will either take damage, which affects your various abilities, or your sanity will be decreased. If that happens, you have to follow the actions dictated by the player controlling your psycho trigger.
Did I mention that players fill out forms guessing who will be the first to die, to go insane, to turn and so on? If you're right, you gain more power tokens. So sometimes, screwing with the other person might be to your advantage.
The game seems like it would be a lot of fun, but the rules are too complicated to comprehend in your first go round. And, with only about an hour to play, I was frustrated by my lack of understanding the rules and the potential consequences of my actions. However, with the right group of people and a chance to read through the book, this game could be a real blast. For more details, visit the official website.
As most of the other games had started as our game ended, I pulled out my edition of Zombies!!! and started up a game with a few other players. This is a 2 - 6 player game, where everyone starts at the town square. Each player draws a tile at the start of their turn, generating a map of the town. It makes the game unpredictable, as you have no idea what's around the next corner until someone places the tile on the table.
Of course, each tile is occupied by the living dead (the number of zombies dictated by the tile). Combat is very easy, accomplished by rolling a six sided die. If you roll 4-6, you kill the zombie. Roll a 1-3 and the zombie takes a bite, unless you have enough bullets to increase your score (for example, a roll of 2 plus two bullets makes a 4). Be careful, though, as bullets are in short supply.
You have two ways to win the game. Either be the first player to kill 25 zombies or be the first person to make it to the center of the helipad (the last tile drawn). If you die, you're not out of the game. But you must start over in the town square and forfeit half the zombies you've bagged.
Players also have three cards, which will either help them or hinder the other guy. Yes, this game takes the idea of tripping your best friend to escape the zombie horde to heart. You can move a certain amount of zombies at the end of your turn, adding to the other player's woes, or use a card to give the person in the lead a real headache.
This is an easy game to learn, and a lot of fun to play. Several expansion packs are available, including a circus scenario with zombie clowns! Check out the official website for more details.
Finally, I played a round of Last Night on Earth, a zombie board game. The board is designed so several pieces are chosen at random, as are the characters. The game offers several scenarios which you can play, from killing a certain amount of zombies to saving town folk. If you fail in your mission, or do not complete it in a given time, the zombies win.
One to two players control the zombies (depending on the amount of heroes playing).Heroes get to draw from a deck of cards (gained by searching various buildings), in order to gain some advantage in their battle. Unfortunately, the zombies also have a deck to play against the humans.
Unlike Zombies!!!, this is a game where cooperation is the only way to survive. Players can aid each other, and trade cards that might be better used by certain characters, but only when they are close together. As any good zombie fan knows, only when humans start fighting amongst themselves are the zombies able to gain the upper hand. Stay together, work as a team and you might be able to survive the last night on earth. You can get more information on this game here.
As our game ended, so did the 2010 May of the Dead. I'm hoping that, like the undead, 2011 brings about the resurrection of this zombie game festival.
All the games mentioned on this, and the previous post, are available at Guardian Games. Visit them on the web, or swing by their store at 313 SE 3rd Ave in Portland. And be sure to mention you read about them on The Shadow Over Portland!
The series deals with the survivors of an airborne virus that killed millions. The virus mutated, reactivating the dead and turning them into rabid zombies. The disease, now spread through the zombie's bodily fluids, is poised to infect the rest of the population unless the survivors can find a safe place to bunker down.
This web series is filmed here in Portland, though Vavra mentioned that not many residents know about the show. So I'm spreading the word. The first two episodes (available on Daily Motion through July 19th) are well shot, nicely written and are a bleak, uncompromising depiction of humanity after the fall. I wish I knew more about the fate of the survivors that didn't make it to episode two. But those events seems likely to come back and haunt the current cast later in the series.
Much more ambitious than a zombie shoot 'em up series, I recommend checking out The Last Stand. I think Portland zombie fans will find a lot to like about this home grown effort. The episodes revert back to TheLastStandOnline.com after July 19th, and more episodes are on the way. The website also has lots of information about the series, so be sure to visit. I'll post any new developments as they become available.
Back to the games. I tried out another local product, the RPG Cannibal Contagion. At the start of the game, players are given randomly generated characters, each with randomly generated abilities and psycho-triggers. The game master then sets up a scenario where the characters are about to die, and it's your job to prevent such an outcome.
Battle is handled by playing your hand of cards (a standard deck of cards with Jokers included) against the game master's hand. You will either take damage, which affects your various abilities, or your sanity will be decreased. If that happens, you have to follow the actions dictated by the player controlling your psycho trigger.
Did I mention that players fill out forms guessing who will be the first to die, to go insane, to turn and so on? If you're right, you gain more power tokens. So sometimes, screwing with the other person might be to your advantage.
The game seems like it would be a lot of fun, but the rules are too complicated to comprehend in your first go round. And, with only about an hour to play, I was frustrated by my lack of understanding the rules and the potential consequences of my actions. However, with the right group of people and a chance to read through the book, this game could be a real blast. For more details, visit the official website.
As most of the other games had started as our game ended, I pulled out my edition of Zombies!!! and started up a game with a few other players. This is a 2 - 6 player game, where everyone starts at the town square. Each player draws a tile at the start of their turn, generating a map of the town. It makes the game unpredictable, as you have no idea what's around the next corner until someone places the tile on the table.
Of course, each tile is occupied by the living dead (the number of zombies dictated by the tile). Combat is very easy, accomplished by rolling a six sided die. If you roll 4-6, you kill the zombie. Roll a 1-3 and the zombie takes a bite, unless you have enough bullets to increase your score (for example, a roll of 2 plus two bullets makes a 4). Be careful, though, as bullets are in short supply.
You have two ways to win the game. Either be the first player to kill 25 zombies or be the first person to make it to the center of the helipad (the last tile drawn). If you die, you're not out of the game. But you must start over in the town square and forfeit half the zombies you've bagged.
Players also have three cards, which will either help them or hinder the other guy. Yes, this game takes the idea of tripping your best friend to escape the zombie horde to heart. You can move a certain amount of zombies at the end of your turn, adding to the other player's woes, or use a card to give the person in the lead a real headache.
This is an easy game to learn, and a lot of fun to play. Several expansion packs are available, including a circus scenario with zombie clowns! Check out the official website for more details.
Finally, I played a round of Last Night on Earth, a zombie board game. The board is designed so several pieces are chosen at random, as are the characters. The game offers several scenarios which you can play, from killing a certain amount of zombies to saving town folk. If you fail in your mission, or do not complete it in a given time, the zombies win.
One to two players control the zombies (depending on the amount of heroes playing).Heroes get to draw from a deck of cards (gained by searching various buildings), in order to gain some advantage in their battle. Unfortunately, the zombies also have a deck to play against the humans.
Unlike Zombies!!!, this is a game where cooperation is the only way to survive. Players can aid each other, and trade cards that might be better used by certain characters, but only when they are close together. As any good zombie fan knows, only when humans start fighting amongst themselves are the zombies able to gain the upper hand. Stay together, work as a team and you might be able to survive the last night on earth. You can get more information on this game here.
As our game ended, so did the 2010 May of the Dead. I'm hoping that, like the undead, 2011 brings about the resurrection of this zombie game festival.
All the games mentioned on this, and the previous post, are available at Guardian Games. Visit them on the web, or swing by their store at 313 SE 3rd Ave in Portland. And be sure to mention you read about them on The Shadow Over Portland!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
I Gamed with A Zombie! Part One
Well, I'm sure a lot of people spent their Memorial Day over a BBQ, out camping or any of the other normal activities our society thrives upon. But for some brave individuals, the perfect way to cap off the holiday weekend was to sit in the dark and try out games of skill and daring with members of the Living Dead.
Yep, I spent most of Memorial Day at Guardian Game's second May of the Dead celebration and I had a blast. Games, gory movies on the big screen and a lot of cool looking zombies shambling in, all looking to try out new zombie games or play some old favorites.
To get into the spirit, I started off with It's Alive, though it's not really a zombie game. You play a mad scientist trying to bring his creation to life before the opposing players complete the task. For this, you need body parts, represented in the game's deck of cards.
You draw a card at the start of your turn, then decided if you will buy the body part (if you have the money) or put it in your graveyard, earning half it's value (rounded down) in cash to further your quest. But if you feel you can get a bit more money out of it, you can try to auction the part off to other players.
Of course, the quality of these body parts (there are eight pieces you must collect) must vary, for while you have 6 opportunities to draw a hand from the deck, it will cost you anywhere from 2 to 8 coins. You could go broke fast, if you aren't careful.
Of course, you can buy another doctor's discarded part, but it has to be on the top of his graveyard pile and you must pay the full price for it (the money goes to the bank, not the doctor who's graveyard you're raiding).
Or, you can let the villagers get it for you.
If you draw the Villager card, you have to pay their price to keep them from storming your castle. It can be either in coin, in body parts from your lab (rather costly, as your lab can only store one of each body part at a time; the rest go to the graveyard) or a combination of the two. However, once you pay them off, you can use the card to raid another doctor's graveyard for free on your next turn.
Finally, a few expensive wild card are scattered in the deck. You want at least one, as these cards act as any body part you want.
If you are the first doctor to collect all eight parts, you can claim your victory by calling out "It's alive!" in your best Colin Clive voice.
The game is a lot of fun. However, the auction part, as written in the rules, has the doctor selling the part open up the bidding, then players bid on it in a clockwise fashion. Bidding stops after one rotation around the table. We found that rather dull, and decided to allow open bidding, making the game a lot more fun.
Minor quibble aside, this Yehuda Berlinger game is a blast. You not only get some beautifully illustrated body part cards, but also an illustrated slab and a castle wall to hide your monster from prying eyes (and keep the opposing player from knowing what you need to win!). It's quick and easy to learn and, as most games won't last more than 30 minutes, it would make a great party game. Recommended for 2 - 5 players, but every one at the table agreed that a 2 player game be rather dull. Get five mad scientist together and you should have a great time.
Next, I tried the new game from Steve Jackson, Zombie Dice. Basically, you're a hungry zombie looking to score some tasty brains. You take three dice (each representing a potential victim) out of the tube and roll them. Each die has a varying number of brains, footsteps and shotgun blasts printed the sides. You get to keep all brains you roll, as you've just claimed another victim. Any dice that roll footsteps indicate a victim that got away. But no worry, you get to roll those dice again.
Of course, shotgun blasts are very bad. You put those aside, and if you get three before you decide to stop rolling, you lose all the brains you've collected that turn and must pass the dice to the next zombie.
As the goal is to collect 13 brains, you have to plan on being stymied by those pesky shotgun blasts a few times in your quest for dinner. But if you've collected five brains in your turn, and only have one shotgun blast, do you roll three more dice and try for more, or do you keep what you've got and call it good?
To help you decide, the dice are the color coded. Green dice have more brains then shotgun blasts, Yellow dice are even, but Red dice means your victims have a better chance of blasting you in the head.
Again, this game is easy to learn and a lot of fun. I only have one minor quibble with it. The game doesn't include any tokens allowing the players to keep track of the brains they've collected. I suggest supplying your own (you can find various items that will work at most game stores) and keep them with the dice. I think it would be easier than handing out paper every time you play.
One final note. Zombie Dice would make a travel game, as you only need a small, flat space to roll the dice. And two players will have just as much fun with this as a large group. Saying "Yum, Braaaains" after collecting your unlucky thirteen victim is up to you.
Well, all this talk of brains reminds me that it's dinner time. I'll post my further adventures in May of the Dead later this week, with a brief review of Cannibal Contagion, Zombies!!! and Last Night on Earth. Also, I'll tell you all a bit about a zombie web series filmed right here in Portland!
More to come soon....
Yep, I spent most of Memorial Day at Guardian Game's second May of the Dead celebration and I had a blast. Games, gory movies on the big screen and a lot of cool looking zombies shambling in, all looking to try out new zombie games or play some old favorites.
To get into the spirit, I started off with It's Alive, though it's not really a zombie game. You play a mad scientist trying to bring his creation to life before the opposing players complete the task. For this, you need body parts, represented in the game's deck of cards.
You draw a card at the start of your turn, then decided if you will buy the body part (if you have the money) or put it in your graveyard, earning half it's value (rounded down) in cash to further your quest. But if you feel you can get a bit more money out of it, you can try to auction the part off to other players.
Of course, the quality of these body parts (there are eight pieces you must collect) must vary, for while you have 6 opportunities to draw a hand from the deck, it will cost you anywhere from 2 to 8 coins. You could go broke fast, if you aren't careful.
Of course, you can buy another doctor's discarded part, but it has to be on the top of his graveyard pile and you must pay the full price for it (the money goes to the bank, not the doctor who's graveyard you're raiding).
Or, you can let the villagers get it for you.
If you draw the Villager card, you have to pay their price to keep them from storming your castle. It can be either in coin, in body parts from your lab (rather costly, as your lab can only store one of each body part at a time; the rest go to the graveyard) or a combination of the two. However, once you pay them off, you can use the card to raid another doctor's graveyard for free on your next turn.
Finally, a few expensive wild card are scattered in the deck. You want at least one, as these cards act as any body part you want.
If you are the first doctor to collect all eight parts, you can claim your victory by calling out "It's alive!" in your best Colin Clive voice.
The game is a lot of fun. However, the auction part, as written in the rules, has the doctor selling the part open up the bidding, then players bid on it in a clockwise fashion. Bidding stops after one rotation around the table. We found that rather dull, and decided to allow open bidding, making the game a lot more fun.
Minor quibble aside, this Yehuda Berlinger game is a blast. You not only get some beautifully illustrated body part cards, but also an illustrated slab and a castle wall to hide your monster from prying eyes (and keep the opposing player from knowing what you need to win!). It's quick and easy to learn and, as most games won't last more than 30 minutes, it would make a great party game. Recommended for 2 - 5 players, but every one at the table agreed that a 2 player game be rather dull. Get five mad scientist together and you should have a great time.
Next, I tried the new game from Steve Jackson, Zombie Dice. Basically, you're a hungry zombie looking to score some tasty brains. You take three dice (each representing a potential victim) out of the tube and roll them. Each die has a varying number of brains, footsteps and shotgun blasts printed the sides. You get to keep all brains you roll, as you've just claimed another victim. Any dice that roll footsteps indicate a victim that got away. But no worry, you get to roll those dice again.
Of course, shotgun blasts are very bad. You put those aside, and if you get three before you decide to stop rolling, you lose all the brains you've collected that turn and must pass the dice to the next zombie.
As the goal is to collect 13 brains, you have to plan on being stymied by those pesky shotgun blasts a few times in your quest for dinner. But if you've collected five brains in your turn, and only have one shotgun blast, do you roll three more dice and try for more, or do you keep what you've got and call it good?
To help you decide, the dice are the color coded. Green dice have more brains then shotgun blasts, Yellow dice are even, but Red dice means your victims have a better chance of blasting you in the head.
Again, this game is easy to learn and a lot of fun. I only have one minor quibble with it. The game doesn't include any tokens allowing the players to keep track of the brains they've collected. I suggest supplying your own (you can find various items that will work at most game stores) and keep them with the dice. I think it would be easier than handing out paper every time you play.
One final note. Zombie Dice would make a travel game, as you only need a small, flat space to roll the dice. And two players will have just as much fun with this as a large group. Saying "Yum, Braaaains" after collecting your unlucky thirteen victim is up to you.
Well, all this talk of brains reminds me that it's dinner time. I'll post my further adventures in May of the Dead later this week, with a brief review of Cannibal Contagion, Zombies!!! and Last Night on Earth. Also, I'll tell you all a bit about a zombie web series filmed right here in Portland!
More to come soon....
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Legion (2009)
Legion tries to be an exciting horror/action flick. The idea of an angel fighting to prevent the end of humanity is pretty cool, especially as he has to take on God's army (no spoiler here, it's in the trailer). But, like Icarus, the film can not keep itself aloft, as a gigantic plot hole act like the sun and brings the movie crashing to the ground.
(Okay, Icarus fell into the sea, but give this metaphor to me, will ya?)
Anyway, the movie starts with Kyle Reese...... Uh, I mean the Archangel Michael hitting the ground in an LA alleyway. We know he's an angel, as he immediately cuts off his wings, which disengages a collar around his neck. I don't know if this is a tracking collar, or if God has an invisible fence around Heaven to keep his angels from running out of the yard. It's never explained what the collar is or why Michael has to cut off his wings. Or even where the wings go once he cuts them off, though I suspect some homeless people had a couple of big buffalo wings that evening.
Oh, I'm a sick man....
Anyway, John Matrix.... Oh, sorry Michael then breaks into a warehouse and finds a bunch of high power guns, only to be caught by the police as he leaves. But instead of Rea Dawn Chong coming to his rescue, one of the cops starts shaking like someone possessed by Agent Smith. Only this time, the person grows small, pointy teeth, their eyes go black and they speak in a hollow tone. And they know Michael, who promptly kills the mutated cop, loads up the police car, then heads out of LA as the city starts to go black.
You know a movie is in trouble when you spend the first 10 minutes recognizing scenes lifted from other movies. And don't get me started on the opening voice over.
Anyway, we now meet the stock humans who will be in the film. They're all straight out of the cliche character handbook; the young expectant mother who is giving the baby up for adoption, the boy who loves her but she doesn't really care for him, the concerned father who wants his son to leave their small town diner for a better life, the arguing yuppie-like couple and their rebellious daughter....
You get the idea, I'm sure. Fortunately, the cast is pretty strong, lead by Dennis Quaid and Charles S. Dutton. The cliches aren't too terrible (yet) and I found myself interested in the character's plight as the apocalypse comes at them in the form of a possessed old lady and a giant, cloud like swarm of flies.
Then Michael shows up, and the movie falls flat once again. It's not just the endless rip off scenes (the pregnant waitress is carrying humanity's savior, the siege looks like any zombie movie out there), or the script that can't find a cliche it doesn't have to add to the mix. No, what dooms this film is it's basic premise, which has God losing His faith in humanity and deciding to wipe us out with an army people possessed by angels.
This turns out to be a pretty stupid plan, as the possessed people can be killed. Sure, it takes more bullets than an average person. But if you were God, why would you put your army into a bunch of fragile meat bags? A more sound idea is just to send the angels to Earth on a search and destroy mission. Or cause a plague that only kills humans. Or start up the zombie apocalypse. Anything would be smarter than possessed-by-an-angel maniacs that are only able to kill people with their hands and teeth.
Once you figure out how stupid the setup is, no amount of furious action can save this film. You just sit there, wondering how the film makers could think we wouldn't figure out that God's plan for our extinction seems to have been thought up by a five year old.
The final blow is another ridiculous no-way-they-would-walk-away-from-that-car-wreck moment (I think I should copyright that, as it keeps turning up in movies all the time), followed by the survivors running up a mountain to escape the murderous angel that God should have sent down in the first place. Any good will or suspension of disbelief left in the viewer is gone and the movie limps to a warm and fuzzy ending.
You know, I've changed my mind about the metaphor I picked for this movie. Icarus is just not right, as this film never gets off the ground. Maybe a penguin, although this movie sinks while penguins can swim. Or an ostrich, except they are good runners and this movie can't go the distance.
I know. Legion is like a domesticated turkey, which can't fly and is destined to be carved up by its audience.
Yep, I think that sums up my feelings towards this movie pretty well.
(Okay, Icarus fell into the sea, but give this metaphor to me, will ya?)
Anyway, the movie starts with Kyle Reese...... Uh, I mean the Archangel Michael hitting the ground in an LA alleyway. We know he's an angel, as he immediately cuts off his wings, which disengages a collar around his neck. I don't know if this is a tracking collar, or if God has an invisible fence around Heaven to keep his angels from running out of the yard. It's never explained what the collar is or why Michael has to cut off his wings. Or even where the wings go once he cuts them off, though I suspect some homeless people had a couple of big buffalo wings that evening.
Oh, I'm a sick man....
Anyway, John Matrix.... Oh, sorry Michael then breaks into a warehouse and finds a bunch of high power guns, only to be caught by the police as he leaves. But instead of Rea Dawn Chong coming to his rescue, one of the cops starts shaking like someone possessed by Agent Smith. Only this time, the person grows small, pointy teeth, their eyes go black and they speak in a hollow tone. And they know Michael, who promptly kills the mutated cop, loads up the police car, then heads out of LA as the city starts to go black.
You know a movie is in trouble when you spend the first 10 minutes recognizing scenes lifted from other movies. And don't get me started on the opening voice over.
Anyway, we now meet the stock humans who will be in the film. They're all straight out of the cliche character handbook; the young expectant mother who is giving the baby up for adoption, the boy who loves her but she doesn't really care for him, the concerned father who wants his son to leave their small town diner for a better life, the arguing yuppie-like couple and their rebellious daughter....
You get the idea, I'm sure. Fortunately, the cast is pretty strong, lead by Dennis Quaid and Charles S. Dutton. The cliches aren't too terrible (yet) and I found myself interested in the character's plight as the apocalypse comes at them in the form of a possessed old lady and a giant, cloud like swarm of flies.
Then Michael shows up, and the movie falls flat once again. It's not just the endless rip off scenes (the pregnant waitress is carrying humanity's savior, the siege looks like any zombie movie out there), or the script that can't find a cliche it doesn't have to add to the mix. No, what dooms this film is it's basic premise, which has God losing His faith in humanity and deciding to wipe us out with an army people possessed by angels.
This turns out to be a pretty stupid plan, as the possessed people can be killed. Sure, it takes more bullets than an average person. But if you were God, why would you put your army into a bunch of fragile meat bags? A more sound idea is just to send the angels to Earth on a search and destroy mission. Or cause a plague that only kills humans. Or start up the zombie apocalypse. Anything would be smarter than possessed-by-an-angel maniacs that are only able to kill people with their hands and teeth.
Once you figure out how stupid the setup is, no amount of furious action can save this film. You just sit there, wondering how the film makers could think we wouldn't figure out that God's plan for our extinction seems to have been thought up by a five year old.
The final blow is another ridiculous no-way-they-would-walk-away-from-that-car-wreck moment (I think I should copyright that, as it keeps turning up in movies all the time), followed by the survivors running up a mountain to escape the murderous angel that God should have sent down in the first place. Any good will or suspension of disbelief left in the viewer is gone and the movie limps to a warm and fuzzy ending.
You know, I've changed my mind about the metaphor I picked for this movie. Icarus is just not right, as this film never gets off the ground. Maybe a penguin, although this movie sinks while penguins can swim. Or an ostrich, except they are good runners and this movie can't go the distance.
I know. Legion is like a domesticated turkey, which can't fly and is destined to be carved up by its audience.
Yep, I think that sums up my feelings towards this movie pretty well.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)