New Chucky Trailer? Wake me when it's over.

Okay, the trailer for the new Chucky movie, Curse of Chucky, as hit the Internet and frankly, I could have slept through it....

Okay, it seems a couple have sprung up, but none have caught my interest.  Yes, I get the filmmakers are breaking away from the campy versions and going for straight horror.  Fine, but it just seems so pointless.

First, if this takes place after the third Chucky movie,why would people be so surprised that an evil soul in inhabiting a doll?  Sure, most people wouldn't believe it, but this is the age of the Internet.  Someone would have posted something about it the first three incidents, and that should come to the attention of those being stalked by the new incarnation of Chucky.

And, once someone figures out that a killer doll is coming after them, the rest is easy!  If you don't believe me, read Seth Grahame-Smith's book, How to Survive a Horror Movie.  How to Defeat a Killer Doll starts on page 81, and it's pretty straight forward.  As he puts it, beat the crap out of it, as you don't have to run away from "...something you can imprison with Legos."

I will admit, killer dolls can be scary.  Child's Play was great, but by the third movie, you'd figure everyone would have found out about the evil Chucky doll and be ready for it, or at least know enough about the Internet rumors to figure out what's happening.  Instead, we have another batch of STUPID victims lining up to be stabbed, pushed down stairs and otherwise mangles...  By a freaking DOLL!

Sorry, but maybe the campier Chucky sequels was for the best.  It's only so long you can believe someone falling for the I-don't-believe-in-killer-dolls in the age of Facebook and Twitter.  Someone would have posted a warning LONG ago.

The Final Destination (2009)

Although FD3 was intended to be the last film in the franchise, the open ending allowed producer Craig Perry and New Line Cinema to greenlite a fourth installment, based on a script by FD2 writer Eric Bress.  David Wong was approached to direct, but passed due to a scheduling conflict.  The studio approached another veteran of the series, FD2 director David E. Ellis, to helm the franchise’s first 3D entry, The Final Destination.

The script breaks no new ground, suggesting New Line was sold on the spectacular elements of the script.  So, rather than adding any depth to the series, the film rehashes the same elements of the previous films.  And while the onscreen mayhem is impressive, the script contains glaring plot holes that contradict the previous films, to a point that fans might lose any suspension of disbelief, if they’d been paying attention to the story and seen this as a crass attempt to cash in on the current 3D craze.

Nasty 3D death in 3, 2,;;;;;

The film starts off as a group of friends sit at a NASCAR-style racetrack and, as expected, one of them experiences a premonition of an upcoming crash that will result in their deaths.  To the surprise of no one in the audience, the person freaks out, which results in several victims leaving the site of the accident.  But, as we all know, Death hates when Its plan is disrupted, so the victims are slowly claimed in rather gruesome manners.

As expected, the plot follows the expectations established earlier in the franchise.  But, in reaching for bigger thrills, this film damages the continuity established (admittedly on rather shaky legs) in the previous films.

Though, to be honest, this was pretty awesome

First off, the accident in the racetrack feels like a retread from Ellis’ earlier entry in the franchise.  But the overabundant use of CGI effects is a problem.  One could excuse the digital effects in a 3D movie, where the audience expects to have blood and gore thrown in their faces, but the CGI deaths don’t look good, especially in 2D.

Another problem with the script is that all the characters are simple stereotypes, designed to forego any attempt at character development and allow the filmmakers to focus on the gore and mayhem.  It might work, if the death sequences came off as original and inventive.  But the film delivers a death that rips off the opening chapter of Chuck Palahniuk’s Haunted, a racist getting his just send off and a nice Rube Goodstein build up to a death that resolves in a simple moment that leaves the audience wondering why the film contains such a build up for a lame payoff. 

What, you mean I've spend all this time sitting on this drain for a rip off moment?!?

Okay, now we get into SPOILER TERRITORY.  I will spoil the conclusion of this movie, as well as the previous entries, as the script contains several inconsistencies that can’t be discussed without giving away the ending.  I assume, if you’ve read this far, you’ve seen the films, but it not, you’ve been warned to stop reading here.

The death scenes are pretty mundane, with a few graphic moments to appease horror fans, but midway through the film, the script starts disrupt the mythos set up earlier in the franchise.  First up is when the man with the vision, Nick (Bobby Campo) and his girlfriend Lori (Shantel VanSanten) interrupt the suicide attempts of racetrack security officer George (Mykelti Williamson), who decided to end his life on his own terms.  But, as it’s not his time according to Death’s ultimate plan, his attempts continue to fail.  He vomits out the pills he ingested, his gun won’t fire and his attempt at hanging himself is interrupted by our heroes.

The scene echoes back to the first film, when Alex is trapped under a tree, drowning in a rather large mud puddle.  But it wasn’t his time (at least according to the first film, which had it’s own flaws), and George’s failed suicide attempts reflect that moment. 

But, it also calls into doubt Kimberly’s death (and resurrection) in the second film.  If we follow the logic forced upon the franchise now, Kimberly would be sitting at the bottom of a lake in the van, unable to drown, as Death isn’t ready for her.  And though the script in FD2 introduces some question as to the order of the survivor’s demise, such a plot point needs to be addressed.

An even bigger problem with the script occurs when Nick figures out that another victim, one he didn’t realize was alive, is next on the list, thus causing George’s failed suicide attempts.  At one point, he experiences another premonition where a movie theater, and most of the upper level of a mall, is destroyed in a cataclysmic explosion.  As his vision shows that any attempt to clear the theater will result in Lori’s death, Nick rushes into the construction site and, despite some considerable obstacles, prevents the explosion and save countless lives.

You know, dying here would be so much easier than dealing with Death's wrath with avoiding It's plan

Aside from the fact that nail guns will not fire nails like a lethal projectile, this sequence destroys everything set up in the previous films.  While it appears this is part of Death’s plan to lead Nick, Lori and one last survivor into a coffee shop, Nick’s premonition saves countless lives, both in the theater and the upper level of the mall.  According to the mythos established in the earlier films, by preventing all these deaths, Nick created a new list of victims for Death to take out. 

It’s hard not to miss this plot hole if you’re a fan of the franchise.  But toss in some shabby CGI deaths, and a few repeat deaths from the earlier films, and this film is a subpar entry attempting to cash in on the 3D craze, rather than build upon the original films.

Of course, as this was the highest grossing film of the series, another entry was inevitable.  So board the bus and get ready for a shaky ride that delivers the goods, but adds a few more holes to the bridge connecting the series.

Okay, let's all calm down about the "proposed" Dr. Phibes remake

Oh, what a great way to start the week.  Naughty but Nice Rob posted, on Vincent Price's birthday, about a proposed remake of The Abominable Dr. Phibes, directed by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp.

Of course, horror fans weighted in on this, and probably increased the site's hits in a matter of hours.  And, as a horror fan, I visited the site and have to say, stop clicking on it RIGHT NOW!  At best, the story comes off as wishful thinking, but I suspect it was designed to increase traffic to the site.

Oh Vincent, how we miss you..

First off, the story talks about Burton's love of the film, and how he attended the premiere in 1971, as well as Depp's "genuine affection" for the original.  But the story lacks other important details, while ignoring the bankability of both parties.

First off, the story doesn't mention a studio connected to the project, a screenwriter or proposed start date.  Sure, both the director and his favorite star like the film, but that doesn't mean the pair are planning to remake the source material.  Or that any studio has signed on to produce/fund/distribute the proposed film.

And, as for studio involvement, let's look at the two principles "involved" in the update.  First, Burton has taken a beating at the box office last year.  Both Dark Shadows (with Johnny Depp) and Frankenweenie underperformed at the box office, and given the cost of most Burton films, it might make most executives leery of giving the director a load of cash for a potentially expensive remake of a rather obscure horror film.

Then we have Johnny Depp, who most consider box office gold.  Unless you consider the weak performance of Dark Shadows, and that  Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides wasn't the cash cow everyone expected.

At least I don't sparkle.  Surely that's worth a ticket.

And we have the potential fiasco that is The Lone Ranger.  Sure, Depp is not the main character, but no one is going to this film because Armie Hammer is in title role.  Given Depp's influence on Tonto's appearance (must resist a put-a-bird-on-it joke) and how the trailers are playing up the Pirates of the Caribbean connection, if this film tanks, most studios might consider another big budget Depp film too much of a risk.  And we haven't even discussed Disney trimming back the budget of this summer "blockbuster," despite Depp's drawing power.

  

So hard not to go all Portlandia on this still...

In short, it's too soon to tell if this proposed remake will come to fruition.  The story fails to take into account too many factors, such as box office performance of upcoming and previous films, and the willingness of a studio to roll the dice on a big budget film based on a rather obscure horror film.  I am including a link to the original story, but don't bother clicking on it.  You'll be wasting your time and energy on a story that seems more intent on cashing in on Price's birthday than one with any real information.

Besides, no studio would sign off on a film containing this scene, even with Depp and Helen Bonham Carter in the lead.  It would never make it past the MPAA.

Goodbye, Ray Harryhausen

A part of me wishes I hadn't agreed to see Iron Man 3 this evening, at least after reading the announcement of Ray Harryhausen's passing earlier this morning.  At first, I just wanted to dig into my DVD collection of his films and spending several hours marveling at his amazing work.

But then, I realized that spending the evening watching a big budget, CGI blockbuster is a tribute, as most of the people working on the effects team are likely Harryhausen fans as well, and spending time watching their work is a living testament to the monsters he created.

And it's no wonder so many effects artists are still inspired by his work.  Ray Harryhausen didn't make monsters, he brought them to life.  In all his films, the creatures were as real as their human counterparts.  They had personalities and motivations, they felt sorrow and pain.  They weren't rubber suited actors, or real animals filmed in a way to make them look gigantic.  Harryhausen's monsters delivered performances so touching and nuanced that one suspects their creator was an actor at heart.

It's not hard to see this in the films he's left behind.  Who can forget the death of Medusa in the original Clash of the Titans, the skeleton from The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad that practically cackles during the fight, or the agony endured by the Ymir in 20 Million Miles to Earth? These are unforgettable moments in cinema, which (to paraphrase Tom Hanks) are as defining as Citizen Kane or Casablanca.

I'm sure a lot of people are sharing their favorite Harryhausen moment, so here's mine.  It's the Children of the Hydra, from Jason and the Argonauts.  Damn, I still get chills just thinking about it.

This wasn't the first time Harryhausen used skeletons in a film, but it was (in my mind) his most effective.  Grown out of the ground by an evil priest, the skeletons are almost robotic as they advance on Jason and his men.  At least until the scream like bats out of hell and attack, which is.....

Oh, just watch the YouTube clip.  Enjoy, because it is amazing work.

Though the craft of stop motion (Harryhausen called his technique of combining human and monster actors Dynamation) has been replaced by computer generated effects, any special effects artists still works under the shadow of Ray Harryhausen.   Because no matter how often this scene has been homaged in films, such as Army of Darkness or the remake of The Mummy, no one has made it more effective.

Goodbye, Mr. Harryhausen.  I never had the privilege to meet you in person and tell you how much your films meant to me as a child, and continue to hold a place in my heart many years later.  And that's probably a good thing, as I'm sure I would have come off like a rambling idiot.  But I will miss you, as the world has become a duller, less wondrous place without you.

Saturday at The H. P. Lovecraft Film Festival

Saturday was a day full of cosmic horrors at The Hollywood Theatre, as day two of the Lovecraft Film Festival continued to spread cosmic horror across Portland. After catching a couple of films in Shorts Block 2, it was time for The Cabal Cut of Nightbreed, Clive Barker's first studio effort. Marred by studio dictated changes, Russell Cherrington has shown this restored version of Barker's film around the world, and the Lovecraft Festival is its final US screening.

As Cherrington mentioned during his introduction, the film is rather shoddy in picture and sound quality, as he culled footage from two work prints to restore the film. But it's an amazing work, as Barker's vision is intact and on screen for the first time. The focus is more on the residents of Midian and their plight once the humans (in this case, a town full of rednecks) discover their hidden world.

The film could still use a bit of trimming (Cherrington says he didn't use all the footage of the rednecks arming themselves, and I think he could have left a bit more out of the film), but the film is powerful and quite compelling. One can only hope Cherrington is able to secure the funding needs to clean up the print and restore Barker's original vision for film lovers and genre fans. The film screens again in just over one hour, with a special mystery guest in attendance.

Next up was a long short, Transcendent, directed by Mars Homeworld. This is an impressive film, a black and white silent film that follows Mary (Cassie Mosher) as she leaves the normal world behind to discover her true destiny. But, as this film is based loosely on Lovecraft's The Shadow Over Innsmith, this hero's journey has a rather dark, yet uplifting, ending.

I enjoyed this film quite a bit. The soundtrack by Mars enables the film to tell the story without dialog, yet this technique doesn't come off as a gimmick. The film looks beautiful and the long running time (for a short film) feels appropriate. It does dragged a bit in the middle, but that is a small quibble. The film is gripping, beautiful and worth seeking out.

Just a moment of disclosure here. I did get to interview Mars, Mosher and prop maker Skinner before I saw the film. While I appreciate their willingness to talk with me, I was a bit worried about a potential conflict of interest, so I want to let my readers know about the interviews. Expect to see them in a future post, and I stand by my review of the film. It's quite good and worth seeking out.

I wish I could be as positive with my final feature viewing on Saturday, 2012's The Thing on the Doorstep. An updated version of the Lovecraft story of the same name, this film shows the limitations and hazards of bringing such short stories to the screen.

I won't waste much time to summarize the plot. The story is Daniel Upton's statement about the events leading up to his murdering his friend, Edward Derby. The being Daniel killed, however, was possibly body possessed a darker force introduced into Edward's life by his new bride, Asenath Waite.

I suspect most horror fans know this story, but if you don't, expect spoilers for the next four paragraphs.

Okay, the film is rather long and padded, as the filmmakers tried to bring a direct adaptation of Lovecraft's story to the screen. But this is not the film's fatal weakness, but rather trying to keep Lovecraft's intent in a feature set in modern times.

First, as in the original story, the audience is told the force possessing Asenath, her father (or possible an older relative) was upset by the fact that he had to possess a daughter, not a son, as the male brain is superior. Yea, right. You'd think a dark wizard would appreciate possessing a gender less driven by testosterone and more able to focus on their studies, rather than a young male with more on his mind than academic studies.

It's an antiquated view of men and women that has no place in a modern adaptation of the story. But a bigger problem is when Daniel's wife discovers Asenath (really Edward) bound to a chair in the attic.

Though Daniel's wife is a phsycologist or councilor, the fact that she doesn't call the police is a major plot problem. As neither Edward or Asenath are her patient, the idea or patient/client confidentiality doesn't hold. Even if it did, she is under an obligation to report this incident as it indicates a clear danger to Asenath. But a greater flaw in the script is that this moral/profession dilemma is never addressed, and Edward just asked his wife to let him try and sort things out. And, of course, the scene is never referenced again.

Despite some good performances and film making, I gave up after the previously mentioned problems with the script. One could have solved these problems (maybe Asenath is dying, explaining the hasty reason for the marriage on her part, and the scene in the attic is explained away as an extreme BDSM game), but it's a weakness the screenwriters either didn't see or care about, and one I couldn't forgive.

But despite a weak finish, the after party at Tony Starlight's was a blast and I'm looking forward to all the fun and I sanity I can handle in day three. But work at 6:30 on Monday....

May blessed insanity claim me before that.

Friday at the H. P. Lovecraft Film Fest

Well, after months of waiting, the stars are right once again and it's time for Portland to get a massive dose of cosmic horror. As I waited on line for my wristband, I started looking over the schedule of events and realized I was not going to see everything I wanted. That path would only lead to madness and I have to be at work on Monday.

First up is a special screening of The Stone Tape, a 1972 BBC production written by Nigel Kneale (writer of the Quartermass films). The festival was given permission to screen this film from both the BBC and the estate of Mr. Kneale, and the odds of ever seeing this again was rather slim, so that presentation was a priority.

It's a slow burn and I could hear some members of the audience getting restless during the screening. But I enjoyed it, despite the dated video effects and poor video quality (the audience was warned the copy looked like a poor bootleg DVD). And it's a nice look at how, as science peels away the mysteries of the universe, we might not be able to deal with the answers we discover.

The ending is a bit weak, but it is engaging, well acted and quite creepy at times. It screens again this afternoon at the fest.

I ended the night with a 35mm screwing of John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness and it was great. The budget shows only at a few points and while a few of the characters are a bit underwritten or overplayed at times, this film is atmospheric and creepy as hell. Great locations, nice use of shadows and, as expected, a terrific score made this a big screen treat. Plays again Sunday afternoon.

Well, got to make my way back to The Hollywood, with a quick detour to Things From Another World (it's Free Comic Day, so show your brick and mortar comic shop some love and financial support). Today, it's the Cabal cut of Nightbreed, some dark radio adventure, then a maddening choice. Oh, the horrors!!!

Final Destination 3 (2006)

As Final Destination 2 opened on January of 2003, talks were underway for bringing the franchise to a close with a final film.  James Wong returned as director and, with writing partner Glen Morgan, sought to re-infuse the franchise with the atmosphere of dread and paranoia from the original film.  It’s evident with the opening credits of Final Destination 3, as the audience is treated to a CGI tour of a creepy carnival that sets the stage for the impending disaster.

But David Ellis’ work on the second film affected this production, as the gore and nudity is amped up beyond the previous entries in the series.  It’s unclear whether this was Wong’s doing, or a demand from the studio.  Regardless of the source, the increased exploitation moments undercut any attempts to return the franchise to its atmosphere-drenched origins.

While this film was intended as the final entry in the franchise, the script doesn’t deviate from the basic plot established by the earlier entries.  In this film, high school senior Wendy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is attending a graduation party at a local carnival.  As she boards the Devil’s Flight rollercoaster, Wendy experiences a vivid premonition of the car derailing, killing everyone on board.

Snapping out of her vision, her attempt to stop the car from leaving the boarding zone, resulting in the attendants releasing the restraints on her section of the cab to escort her out.  Several other students, all stereotypes from an assortment of previous high school movies, to get off as well.  But Wendy’s best friend Carrie and her boyfriend Jason are in a different section of the cab and depart on the ride, which derails as Wendy predicted.

Crappy CGI, here we come!

As you might guess, freak accidents start to claim the survivors.  Wendy finds out about the survivor of Flight 180 through Carrie’s boyfriend Kevin (Ryan Merriman) and starts searching the Internet for more information.  Along the way, she discovers the photos she took at the park holds clues to the fates awaiting each survivor.

Even after the opening credits, one can sense Wong’s attempt at more detailed character development and atmosphere than action.  But his effort doesn’t pay off, as these scenes feel incomplete.  A perfect example is when, before boarding the Devil’s Flight, Carrie tells Wendy she plans to end her relationship with Kevin in a few months.  Then after the accident, Kevin confides in Wendy that he’d plan to propose to Carrie at some point after graduation.  It’s a very human moment, as a person learns secrets that change how she views a person and their relationship, yet this plot point is just dropped.  Sure, Wendy keeps Carrie’s secret, but the script delivers no payoff to Wendy’s, and the audience’s, discovery.

However, Wong does develop Wendy’s feelings of paranoia concerning foes both seen and unseen well, playing off moments from the original film.  Wendy keeps hearing one song before another accident occurs, a wind that seems to have no point of origin keeps occurring around her.  Windtead’s performance is very good, conveying the sense of paranoia experienced by the main character that was missing from the second film.

But Final Destination 3 fails on several counts.  First, the CGI in the opening disaster is unrealistic.  Wong allows characters to defy the basic laws of physics to introduce a “cool” shot, fracturing the audience’s suspension of disbelief and making the sequence look more like a Looney Tunes Cartoon than a horror film.

What do you mean, I'm defying the laws of physics?  I never studied law.

The film also includes a prolonged nude sequence, as two female survivors visit a tanning salon, which ends up being the site of their demise.  This bit might be forgivable, but one can’t suspect Wong is criticizing his audience with the inclusion of Freddie (Sam Easton), a previous graduate who is trying to score footage of topless women at the park during the opening act.  He follows the two women, actually stereotypical valley girls, onto the Devil’s Flight, hoping to convince them to flash him, and his camera, during the ride.  This obnoxious character (well played by Easton) seems a rather shallow attempt by Wong to shame horror fans looking for more skin in the franchise.  And once the girls disrobe in the tanning salon, the most prolonged nude sequence in the franchise, it appears Wong is rewarding the Freddie’s in horror fandom for their persistence.  At least until the unlucky pair are set ablaze in the tanning booths, causing one to wonder whether Wong wants to punish the fanboys for demanding such a display, or the women who cater to such demands.

Wait, fanboy vengeance is the only reason I'm nude in this shot?  Where's my agent?!?!

Sexual politics aside, Freddie also delivers a fatal blow to the script in the opening disaster.  But, to get into that, I will tread into MAJOR SPOILER TERRITORY for the next three paragraphs.  You have been warned.

During Wendy’s premonition, the audience sees every detail of the accident, including the events that set the accident in motion.  We get a scene where the brake lines on the car start leaking, as an attendant forces a restraining device into place on one of the riders.  But, the ride might not have ended in a derailment had Freddie not been aboard.

Stalking the two valley girls, Freddie boards the Devil’s Flight behind them, hiding his video camera from the attendants.  As the car goes into a series of loops, he revels his camera and shouts for the girls to, “Show me your titties!”  As before, they are repulsed by his actions and one knocks the camera out of his hand.  Falling onto the tracks in front of the car, the camera causes the brake line to rupture, leading to the eventual derailment.

The problem is, once Wendy comes out of her premonition, snaps out of it, Freddie follows the two valley girls off the ride, taking his camera with him.  With Freddie off the ride, his camera will not be knocked loose (and, after all, the girl who knocks it out of his hand is off the ride as well), inferring the accident would not happen without this final trigger.  It’s a staggering moment of sloppy writing and, as it appears early in the script, makes the rest of the movie suspect for any audience member looking for more than blood and boobs.

So, we are in the sequel, right?

Another problem error is the script ignores the survivors from the second film.  While the events surrounding Flight 180 are referenced, along with the accident from the second movie, it seems strange the only people who thwarted Death are never mentioned.  Though the survivors might not fit into Wong’s original idea for the series, that one can not cheat Death in the end, a brief mention of their deaths, as the death of Alex is referenced in Part 2, would have cleared up this plot hole. 

Despite these flaws, the kills are pretty good and the build up to most of the deaths are more Rube Goldberg-est than the second film, and thus more suspenseful.  And while the ending seems rather lackluster for the conclusion of a series, it works pretty well to sum up Wong and Morgan’s ultimate statement, that Death will never be cheated out of its prize.

But as long as writers can concoct bizarre ways for people to die, you know the Final Destination franchise will continue.  So rev up your engines as the series takes on 3D and tries to blow you out of your theater seat.

Well, at least I have The Thing prequel to look forward to....