As mentioned in my earlier post, May of the Dead (held on May 31 at Guardian Games) was a great opportunity to try out zombie and undead themed games. But I also had a chance to talk with Martin Vavra of Galaxy Sailor Productions, who showed up to promote his web series, The Last Stand.
The series deals with the survivors of an airborne virus that killed millions. The virus mutated, reactivating the dead and turning them into rabid zombies. The disease, now spread through the zombie's bodily fluids, is poised to infect the rest of the population unless the survivors can find a safe place to bunker down.
This web series is filmed here in Portland, though Vavra mentioned that not many residents know about the show. So I'm spreading the word. The first two episodes (available on Daily Motion through July 19th) are well shot, nicely written and are a bleak, uncompromising depiction of humanity after the fall. I wish I knew more about the fate of the survivors that didn't make it to episode two. But those events seems likely to come back and haunt the current cast later in the series.
Much more ambitious than a zombie shoot 'em up series, I recommend checking out The Last Stand. I think Portland zombie fans will find a lot to like about this home grown effort. The episodes revert back to TheLastStandOnline.com after July 19th, and more episodes are on the way. The website also has lots of information about the series, so be sure to visit. I'll post any new developments as they become available.
Back to the games. I tried out another local product, the RPG Cannibal Contagion. At the start of the game, players are given randomly generated characters, each with randomly generated abilities and psycho-triggers. The game master then sets up a scenario where the characters are about to die, and it's your job to prevent such an outcome.
Battle is handled by playing your hand of cards (a standard deck of cards with Jokers included) against the game master's hand. You will either take damage, which affects your various abilities, or your sanity will be decreased. If that happens, you have to follow the actions dictated by the player controlling your psycho trigger.
Did I mention that players fill out forms guessing who will be the first to die, to go insane, to turn and so on? If you're right, you gain more power tokens. So sometimes, screwing with the other person might be to your advantage.
The game seems like it would be a lot of fun, but the rules are too complicated to comprehend in your first go round. And, with only about an hour to play, I was frustrated by my lack of understanding the rules and the potential consequences of my actions. However, with the right group of people and a chance to read through the book, this game could be a real blast. For more details, visit the official website.
As most of the other games had started as our game ended, I pulled out my edition of Zombies!!! and started up a game with a few other players. This is a 2 - 6 player game, where everyone starts at the town square. Each player draws a tile at the start of their turn, generating a map of the town. It makes the game unpredictable, as you have no idea what's around the next corner until someone places the tile on the table.
Of course, each tile is occupied by the living dead (the number of zombies dictated by the tile). Combat is very easy, accomplished by rolling a six sided die. If you roll 4-6, you kill the zombie. Roll a 1-3 and the zombie takes a bite, unless you have enough bullets to increase your score (for example, a roll of 2 plus two bullets makes a 4). Be careful, though, as bullets are in short supply.
You have two ways to win the game. Either be the first player to kill 25 zombies or be the first person to make it to the center of the helipad (the last tile drawn). If you die, you're not out of the game. But you must start over in the town square and forfeit half the zombies you've bagged.
Players also have three cards, which will either help them or hinder the other guy. Yes, this game takes the idea of tripping your best friend to escape the zombie horde to heart. You can move a certain amount of zombies at the end of your turn, adding to the other player's woes, or use a card to give the person in the lead a real headache.
This is an easy game to learn, and a lot of fun to play. Several expansion packs are available, including a circus scenario with zombie clowns! Check out the official website for more details.
Finally, I played a round of Last Night on Earth, a zombie board game. The board is designed so several pieces are chosen at random, as are the characters. The game offers several scenarios which you can play, from killing a certain amount of zombies to saving town folk. If you fail in your mission, or do not complete it in a given time, the zombies win.
One to two players control the zombies (depending on the amount of heroes playing).Heroes get to draw from a deck of cards (gained by searching various buildings), in order to gain some advantage in their battle. Unfortunately, the zombies also have a deck to play against the humans.
Unlike Zombies!!!, this is a game where cooperation is the only way to survive. Players can aid each other, and trade cards that might be better used by certain characters, but only when they are close together. As any good zombie fan knows, only when humans start fighting amongst themselves are the zombies able to gain the upper hand. Stay together, work as a team and you might be able to survive the last night on earth. You can get more information on this game here.
As our game ended, so did the 2010 May of the Dead. I'm hoping that, like the undead, 2011 brings about the resurrection of this zombie game festival.
All the games mentioned on this, and the previous post, are available at Guardian Games. Visit them on the web, or swing by their store at 313 SE 3rd Ave in Portland. And be sure to mention you read about them on The Shadow Over Portland!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
I Gamed with A Zombie! Part One
Well, I'm sure a lot of people spent their Memorial Day over a BBQ, out camping or any of the other normal activities our society thrives upon. But for some brave individuals, the perfect way to cap off the holiday weekend was to sit in the dark and try out games of skill and daring with members of the Living Dead.
Yep, I spent most of Memorial Day at Guardian Game's second May of the Dead celebration and I had a blast. Games, gory movies on the big screen and a lot of cool looking zombies shambling in, all looking to try out new zombie games or play some old favorites.
To get into the spirit, I started off with It's Alive, though it's not really a zombie game. You play a mad scientist trying to bring his creation to life before the opposing players complete the task. For this, you need body parts, represented in the game's deck of cards.
You draw a card at the start of your turn, then decided if you will buy the body part (if you have the money) or put it in your graveyard, earning half it's value (rounded down) in cash to further your quest. But if you feel you can get a bit more money out of it, you can try to auction the part off to other players.
Of course, the quality of these body parts (there are eight pieces you must collect) must vary, for while you have 6 opportunities to draw a hand from the deck, it will cost you anywhere from 2 to 8 coins. You could go broke fast, if you aren't careful.
Of course, you can buy another doctor's discarded part, but it has to be on the top of his graveyard pile and you must pay the full price for it (the money goes to the bank, not the doctor who's graveyard you're raiding).
Or, you can let the villagers get it for you.
If you draw the Villager card, you have to pay their price to keep them from storming your castle. It can be either in coin, in body parts from your lab (rather costly, as your lab can only store one of each body part at a time; the rest go to the graveyard) or a combination of the two. However, once you pay them off, you can use the card to raid another doctor's graveyard for free on your next turn.
Finally, a few expensive wild card are scattered in the deck. You want at least one, as these cards act as any body part you want.
If you are the first doctor to collect all eight parts, you can claim your victory by calling out "It's alive!" in your best Colin Clive voice.
The game is a lot of fun. However, the auction part, as written in the rules, has the doctor selling the part open up the bidding, then players bid on it in a clockwise fashion. Bidding stops after one rotation around the table. We found that rather dull, and decided to allow open bidding, making the game a lot more fun.
Minor quibble aside, this Yehuda Berlinger game is a blast. You not only get some beautifully illustrated body part cards, but also an illustrated slab and a castle wall to hide your monster from prying eyes (and keep the opposing player from knowing what you need to win!). It's quick and easy to learn and, as most games won't last more than 30 minutes, it would make a great party game. Recommended for 2 - 5 players, but every one at the table agreed that a 2 player game be rather dull. Get five mad scientist together and you should have a great time.
Next, I tried the new game from Steve Jackson, Zombie Dice. Basically, you're a hungry zombie looking to score some tasty brains. You take three dice (each representing a potential victim) out of the tube and roll them. Each die has a varying number of brains, footsteps and shotgun blasts printed the sides. You get to keep all brains you roll, as you've just claimed another victim. Any dice that roll footsteps indicate a victim that got away. But no worry, you get to roll those dice again.
Of course, shotgun blasts are very bad. You put those aside, and if you get three before you decide to stop rolling, you lose all the brains you've collected that turn and must pass the dice to the next zombie.
As the goal is to collect 13 brains, you have to plan on being stymied by those pesky shotgun blasts a few times in your quest for dinner. But if you've collected five brains in your turn, and only have one shotgun blast, do you roll three more dice and try for more, or do you keep what you've got and call it good?
To help you decide, the dice are the color coded. Green dice have more brains then shotgun blasts, Yellow dice are even, but Red dice means your victims have a better chance of blasting you in the head.
Again, this game is easy to learn and a lot of fun. I only have one minor quibble with it. The game doesn't include any tokens allowing the players to keep track of the brains they've collected. I suggest supplying your own (you can find various items that will work at most game stores) and keep them with the dice. I think it would be easier than handing out paper every time you play.
One final note. Zombie Dice would make a travel game, as you only need a small, flat space to roll the dice. And two players will have just as much fun with this as a large group. Saying "Yum, Braaaains" after collecting your unlucky thirteen victim is up to you.
Well, all this talk of brains reminds me that it's dinner time. I'll post my further adventures in May of the Dead later this week, with a brief review of Cannibal Contagion, Zombies!!! and Last Night on Earth. Also, I'll tell you all a bit about a zombie web series filmed right here in Portland!
More to come soon....
Yep, I spent most of Memorial Day at Guardian Game's second May of the Dead celebration and I had a blast. Games, gory movies on the big screen and a lot of cool looking zombies shambling in, all looking to try out new zombie games or play some old favorites.
To get into the spirit, I started off with It's Alive, though it's not really a zombie game. You play a mad scientist trying to bring his creation to life before the opposing players complete the task. For this, you need body parts, represented in the game's deck of cards.
You draw a card at the start of your turn, then decided if you will buy the body part (if you have the money) or put it in your graveyard, earning half it's value (rounded down) in cash to further your quest. But if you feel you can get a bit more money out of it, you can try to auction the part off to other players.
Of course, the quality of these body parts (there are eight pieces you must collect) must vary, for while you have 6 opportunities to draw a hand from the deck, it will cost you anywhere from 2 to 8 coins. You could go broke fast, if you aren't careful.
Of course, you can buy another doctor's discarded part, but it has to be on the top of his graveyard pile and you must pay the full price for it (the money goes to the bank, not the doctor who's graveyard you're raiding).
Or, you can let the villagers get it for you.
If you draw the Villager card, you have to pay their price to keep them from storming your castle. It can be either in coin, in body parts from your lab (rather costly, as your lab can only store one of each body part at a time; the rest go to the graveyard) or a combination of the two. However, once you pay them off, you can use the card to raid another doctor's graveyard for free on your next turn.
Finally, a few expensive wild card are scattered in the deck. You want at least one, as these cards act as any body part you want.
If you are the first doctor to collect all eight parts, you can claim your victory by calling out "It's alive!" in your best Colin Clive voice.
The game is a lot of fun. However, the auction part, as written in the rules, has the doctor selling the part open up the bidding, then players bid on it in a clockwise fashion. Bidding stops after one rotation around the table. We found that rather dull, and decided to allow open bidding, making the game a lot more fun.
Minor quibble aside, this Yehuda Berlinger game is a blast. You not only get some beautifully illustrated body part cards, but also an illustrated slab and a castle wall to hide your monster from prying eyes (and keep the opposing player from knowing what you need to win!). It's quick and easy to learn and, as most games won't last more than 30 minutes, it would make a great party game. Recommended for 2 - 5 players, but every one at the table agreed that a 2 player game be rather dull. Get five mad scientist together and you should have a great time.
Next, I tried the new game from Steve Jackson, Zombie Dice. Basically, you're a hungry zombie looking to score some tasty brains. You take three dice (each representing a potential victim) out of the tube and roll them. Each die has a varying number of brains, footsteps and shotgun blasts printed the sides. You get to keep all brains you roll, as you've just claimed another victim. Any dice that roll footsteps indicate a victim that got away. But no worry, you get to roll those dice again.
Of course, shotgun blasts are very bad. You put those aside, and if you get three before you decide to stop rolling, you lose all the brains you've collected that turn and must pass the dice to the next zombie.
As the goal is to collect 13 brains, you have to plan on being stymied by those pesky shotgun blasts a few times in your quest for dinner. But if you've collected five brains in your turn, and only have one shotgun blast, do you roll three more dice and try for more, or do you keep what you've got and call it good?
To help you decide, the dice are the color coded. Green dice have more brains then shotgun blasts, Yellow dice are even, but Red dice means your victims have a better chance of blasting you in the head.
Again, this game is easy to learn and a lot of fun. I only have one minor quibble with it. The game doesn't include any tokens allowing the players to keep track of the brains they've collected. I suggest supplying your own (you can find various items that will work at most game stores) and keep them with the dice. I think it would be easier than handing out paper every time you play.
One final note. Zombie Dice would make a travel game, as you only need a small, flat space to roll the dice. And two players will have just as much fun with this as a large group. Saying "Yum, Braaaains" after collecting your unlucky thirteen victim is up to you.
Well, all this talk of brains reminds me that it's dinner time. I'll post my further adventures in May of the Dead later this week, with a brief review of Cannibal Contagion, Zombies!!! and Last Night on Earth. Also, I'll tell you all a bit about a zombie web series filmed right here in Portland!
More to come soon....
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Legion (2009)
Legion tries to be an exciting horror/action flick. The idea of an angel fighting to prevent the end of humanity is pretty cool, especially as he has to take on God's army (no spoiler here, it's in the trailer). But, like Icarus, the film can not keep itself aloft, as a gigantic plot hole act like the sun and brings the movie crashing to the ground.
(Okay, Icarus fell into the sea, but give this metaphor to me, will ya?)
Anyway, the movie starts with Kyle Reese...... Uh, I mean the Archangel Michael hitting the ground in an LA alleyway. We know he's an angel, as he immediately cuts off his wings, which disengages a collar around his neck. I don't know if this is a tracking collar, or if God has an invisible fence around Heaven to keep his angels from running out of the yard. It's never explained what the collar is or why Michael has to cut off his wings. Or even where the wings go once he cuts them off, though I suspect some homeless people had a couple of big buffalo wings that evening.
Oh, I'm a sick man....
Anyway, John Matrix.... Oh, sorry Michael then breaks into a warehouse and finds a bunch of high power guns, only to be caught by the police as he leaves. But instead of Rea Dawn Chong coming to his rescue, one of the cops starts shaking like someone possessed by Agent Smith. Only this time, the person grows small, pointy teeth, their eyes go black and they speak in a hollow tone. And they know Michael, who promptly kills the mutated cop, loads up the police car, then heads out of LA as the city starts to go black.
You know a movie is in trouble when you spend the first 10 minutes recognizing scenes lifted from other movies. And don't get me started on the opening voice over.
Anyway, we now meet the stock humans who will be in the film. They're all straight out of the cliche character handbook; the young expectant mother who is giving the baby up for adoption, the boy who loves her but she doesn't really care for him, the concerned father who wants his son to leave their small town diner for a better life, the arguing yuppie-like couple and their rebellious daughter....
You get the idea, I'm sure. Fortunately, the cast is pretty strong, lead by Dennis Quaid and Charles S. Dutton. The cliches aren't too terrible (yet) and I found myself interested in the character's plight as the apocalypse comes at them in the form of a possessed old lady and a giant, cloud like swarm of flies.
Then Michael shows up, and the movie falls flat once again. It's not just the endless rip off scenes (the pregnant waitress is carrying humanity's savior, the siege looks like any zombie movie out there), or the script that can't find a cliche it doesn't have to add to the mix. No, what dooms this film is it's basic premise, which has God losing His faith in humanity and deciding to wipe us out with an army people possessed by angels.
This turns out to be a pretty stupid plan, as the possessed people can be killed. Sure, it takes more bullets than an average person. But if you were God, why would you put your army into a bunch of fragile meat bags? A more sound idea is just to send the angels to Earth on a search and destroy mission. Or cause a plague that only kills humans. Or start up the zombie apocalypse. Anything would be smarter than possessed-by-an-angel maniacs that are only able to kill people with their hands and teeth.
Once you figure out how stupid the setup is, no amount of furious action can save this film. You just sit there, wondering how the film makers could think we wouldn't figure out that God's plan for our extinction seems to have been thought up by a five year old.
The final blow is another ridiculous no-way-they-would-walk-away-from-that-car-wreck moment (I think I should copyright that, as it keeps turning up in movies all the time), followed by the survivors running up a mountain to escape the murderous angel that God should have sent down in the first place. Any good will or suspension of disbelief left in the viewer is gone and the movie limps to a warm and fuzzy ending.
You know, I've changed my mind about the metaphor I picked for this movie. Icarus is just not right, as this film never gets off the ground. Maybe a penguin, although this movie sinks while penguins can swim. Or an ostrich, except they are good runners and this movie can't go the distance.
I know. Legion is like a domesticated turkey, which can't fly and is destined to be carved up by its audience.
Yep, I think that sums up my feelings towards this movie pretty well.
(Okay, Icarus fell into the sea, but give this metaphor to me, will ya?)
Anyway, the movie starts with Kyle Reese...... Uh, I mean the Archangel Michael hitting the ground in an LA alleyway. We know he's an angel, as he immediately cuts off his wings, which disengages a collar around his neck. I don't know if this is a tracking collar, or if God has an invisible fence around Heaven to keep his angels from running out of the yard. It's never explained what the collar is or why Michael has to cut off his wings. Or even where the wings go once he cuts them off, though I suspect some homeless people had a couple of big buffalo wings that evening.
Oh, I'm a sick man....
Anyway, John Matrix.... Oh, sorry Michael then breaks into a warehouse and finds a bunch of high power guns, only to be caught by the police as he leaves. But instead of Rea Dawn Chong coming to his rescue, one of the cops starts shaking like someone possessed by Agent Smith. Only this time, the person grows small, pointy teeth, their eyes go black and they speak in a hollow tone. And they know Michael, who promptly kills the mutated cop, loads up the police car, then heads out of LA as the city starts to go black.
You know a movie is in trouble when you spend the first 10 minutes recognizing scenes lifted from other movies. And don't get me started on the opening voice over.
Anyway, we now meet the stock humans who will be in the film. They're all straight out of the cliche character handbook; the young expectant mother who is giving the baby up for adoption, the boy who loves her but she doesn't really care for him, the concerned father who wants his son to leave their small town diner for a better life, the arguing yuppie-like couple and their rebellious daughter....
You get the idea, I'm sure. Fortunately, the cast is pretty strong, lead by Dennis Quaid and Charles S. Dutton. The cliches aren't too terrible (yet) and I found myself interested in the character's plight as the apocalypse comes at them in the form of a possessed old lady and a giant, cloud like swarm of flies.
Then Michael shows up, and the movie falls flat once again. It's not just the endless rip off scenes (the pregnant waitress is carrying humanity's savior, the siege looks like any zombie movie out there), or the script that can't find a cliche it doesn't have to add to the mix. No, what dooms this film is it's basic premise, which has God losing His faith in humanity and deciding to wipe us out with an army people possessed by angels.
This turns out to be a pretty stupid plan, as the possessed people can be killed. Sure, it takes more bullets than an average person. But if you were God, why would you put your army into a bunch of fragile meat bags? A more sound idea is just to send the angels to Earth on a search and destroy mission. Or cause a plague that only kills humans. Or start up the zombie apocalypse. Anything would be smarter than possessed-by-an-angel maniacs that are only able to kill people with their hands and teeth.
Once you figure out how stupid the setup is, no amount of furious action can save this film. You just sit there, wondering how the film makers could think we wouldn't figure out that God's plan for our extinction seems to have been thought up by a five year old.
The final blow is another ridiculous no-way-they-would-walk-away-from-that-car-wreck moment (I think I should copyright that, as it keeps turning up in movies all the time), followed by the survivors running up a mountain to escape the murderous angel that God should have sent down in the first place. Any good will or suspension of disbelief left in the viewer is gone and the movie limps to a warm and fuzzy ending.
You know, I've changed my mind about the metaphor I picked for this movie. Icarus is just not right, as this film never gets off the ground. Maybe a penguin, although this movie sinks while penguins can swim. Or an ostrich, except they are good runners and this movie can't go the distance.
I know. Legion is like a domesticated turkey, which can't fly and is destined to be carved up by its audience.
Yep, I think that sums up my feelings towards this movie pretty well.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
The Human Centipede (2009)
It's been almost 24 hours since I found my seat at Cinema 21 to take in Tom Six's The Human Centipede:The First Segment. And, truth be told, I this was a tough review to write. If you take away the plot's McGuffiin, all that's left is a very standard horror film that we've all seen many times before. Yet, some beautiful camera work by Six and a terrific performance transcends the simplistic script and makes this a riveting film.
The plot, for the few of you who haven't heard about this movie, might be a bit of a spoiler. But knowing what's coming isn't an impediment to this movie. In fact, it's what gets you into the theater.
The film starts out with a creepy Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser) kidnapping a trucker. Next, we meet Lindsey and Jenny (Ashley C. Williams and Ashlynn Yennie), two American tourists in Germany looking for a place to party. Instead, they get very lost and stumble into the isolate home of, you guessed it, Dr. Heiter. They are drugged and wake up strapped to hospital beds, with the truck driver briefly beside them.
The trucker is replaced with Katsuro (Akihiro Kitamura), a Japanese tourist, who is a tissue match with the girls. At this point, Dr. Heiter explains that he is a world renowned surgeon, who specialized in the separation of conjoined twins. But now, he wants to create a masterpiece, linking the three "patients" via the gastrointestinal tract into one being, the human centipede.
Yep, Heiter is planning to connect the three from anus to mouth. You read that right. And he does. By the midpoint of the movie, the three victims are seen on screen only as the human centipede, with Katsuro screaming at the doctor in subtitled Japanese and the girls only able to grunt. And yep, the film goes there, as Heiter stands above Katsuro screaming "Feed her! Feed her!!!"
(Hey, it's in the trailer, so I feel free to mention it here. If the film makers spoil their own movie, it's open game in my books.)
Of course, a couple of complications arise, involving an infection and the arrival of two policemen looking for the girls. This allows the three victims make a desperate attempt to escape during the confusion. But they can't outrun Heiter on their hands and knees.
To director Tom Six's credit, the subject matter is not presented in a graphic fashion. Six relies on suggestion and his actors to express the horrors they are subjected to, making their plight more horrific than if conveyed through a couple of gross out moment. The horror is not played out as torture porn, but more like the insanity of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, with a tone just as bleak.
Adding to the film's effectiveness is Six's decision to play the movie straight, without any trace of humor or parody. He allows the girls to be the most annoying Americans possible, without spilling over into parody, then wrenches your sympathy for their plight from you with a few simple physical gestures from them. And the last scene of the film is one of the most haunting I've seen in a long time. With it, Six sends the audience out of the theater with no reprieve, no happy thoughts or silly jump scares to let them off the hook. It's a bleak film up to the last second.
Casting Laser as Heiter was film maker's biggest coup. Laser's pronounced facial features, his skin etched with a multitude of wrinkles, makes him oddly fascinated to watch. And his over the top performance doesn't sink into campiness, but comes off as an arrogance befitting the character. He tells his victims of his plans, detailing the surgery for them, not to torture them, but to share with them his "genius." After the surgery, he's as gleeful as a child with a new toy that gradually grows tiresome. He's just perfect in the role.
Heiter's house is used like a character, or more likely, an extension of it's owner. Cold and antiseptic in atmosphere, the winding halls leading nowhere, bizarre angles and the artwork hinting at Heiter's surgical specialty make it a sterile madhouse, reflecting the mindset of the occupant. Rarely has such a clean, well lit set come across so dark.
For their limited roles, the three victims play their part well. The police intervention is believably unheroic, just a couple of cops who stumble into a situation beyond their imagination. Although one interaction between Heiter and the police is glaringly false, the conclusion is well timed and rather surprising.
Six has said a second film is on the way. Given the ending, I'm not sure where he'll take the series, but I'm interested in following his mad little journey. I guess that's the best recommendation I can give this movie. I might not want to see The First Segment again, but I can't wait to see what nightmares Six conjures up in the second part.
The plot, for the few of you who haven't heard about this movie, might be a bit of a spoiler. But knowing what's coming isn't an impediment to this movie. In fact, it's what gets you into the theater.
The film starts out with a creepy Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser) kidnapping a trucker. Next, we meet Lindsey and Jenny (Ashley C. Williams and Ashlynn Yennie), two American tourists in Germany looking for a place to party. Instead, they get very lost and stumble into the isolate home of, you guessed it, Dr. Heiter. They are drugged and wake up strapped to hospital beds, with the truck driver briefly beside them.
The trucker is replaced with Katsuro (Akihiro Kitamura), a Japanese tourist, who is a tissue match with the girls. At this point, Dr. Heiter explains that he is a world renowned surgeon, who specialized in the separation of conjoined twins. But now, he wants to create a masterpiece, linking the three "patients" via the gastrointestinal tract into one being, the human centipede.
Yep, Heiter is planning to connect the three from anus to mouth. You read that right. And he does. By the midpoint of the movie, the three victims are seen on screen only as the human centipede, with Katsuro screaming at the doctor in subtitled Japanese and the girls only able to grunt. And yep, the film goes there, as Heiter stands above Katsuro screaming "Feed her! Feed her!!!"
(Hey, it's in the trailer, so I feel free to mention it here. If the film makers spoil their own movie, it's open game in my books.)
Of course, a couple of complications arise, involving an infection and the arrival of two policemen looking for the girls. This allows the three victims make a desperate attempt to escape during the confusion. But they can't outrun Heiter on their hands and knees.
To director Tom Six's credit, the subject matter is not presented in a graphic fashion. Six relies on suggestion and his actors to express the horrors they are subjected to, making their plight more horrific than if conveyed through a couple of gross out moment. The horror is not played out as torture porn, but more like the insanity of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, with a tone just as bleak.
Adding to the film's effectiveness is Six's decision to play the movie straight, without any trace of humor or parody. He allows the girls to be the most annoying Americans possible, without spilling over into parody, then wrenches your sympathy for their plight from you with a few simple physical gestures from them. And the last scene of the film is one of the most haunting I've seen in a long time. With it, Six sends the audience out of the theater with no reprieve, no happy thoughts or silly jump scares to let them off the hook. It's a bleak film up to the last second.
Casting Laser as Heiter was film maker's biggest coup. Laser's pronounced facial features, his skin etched with a multitude of wrinkles, makes him oddly fascinated to watch. And his over the top performance doesn't sink into campiness, but comes off as an arrogance befitting the character. He tells his victims of his plans, detailing the surgery for them, not to torture them, but to share with them his "genius." After the surgery, he's as gleeful as a child with a new toy that gradually grows tiresome. He's just perfect in the role.
Heiter's house is used like a character, or more likely, an extension of it's owner. Cold and antiseptic in atmosphere, the winding halls leading nowhere, bizarre angles and the artwork hinting at Heiter's surgical specialty make it a sterile madhouse, reflecting the mindset of the occupant. Rarely has such a clean, well lit set come across so dark.
For their limited roles, the three victims play their part well. The police intervention is believably unheroic, just a couple of cops who stumble into a situation beyond their imagination. Although one interaction between Heiter and the police is glaringly false, the conclusion is well timed and rather surprising.
Six has said a second film is on the way. Given the ending, I'm not sure where he'll take the series, but I'm interested in following his mad little journey. I guess that's the best recommendation I can give this movie. I might not want to see The First Segment again, but I can't wait to see what nightmares Six conjures up in the second part.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The Descent Part 2 (2009)
You would think, after witnessing the abominable Nightmare on Elm Street remake, I would steer clear of cinematic trash. Yet, some force I couldn't resist placed me in front of a local Redbox last night, renting Descent 2.
What god have I offended that would allow me to watch two botched movie follow ups in one weekend?
Descent 2 is the sequel to Neil Marshall's brilliant horror film about 5 women adventurers exploring a cave that is home to the crawlers, who look like a mutant cross between bats and humans. These beings are blind, but are able to hunt due to their keen sense of hearing, and slowly pick off the party one by one.
I won't go into the details of the first film. If you haven't seen it, go buy a copy. It's one of the best horror films of the past decade and deserves to be in every horror fan's collection. This sequel, however, falls far short of the mark.
You should know, the first film was released with two endings. The original (foreign cut) is a chilling conclusion, while the version released in the States ends about three minutes early, with a standard jump scare. I'm sure the studio wanted to leave things open for a sequel. Watch the unrated version with the original ending and you'll understand what I'm saying.
To be fair, the film makers try to appease fans of both endings in the beginning of the remake. Sarah, the survivor of the first film, is found wondering along a road in the middle of the forest. She has no memory of the events in the cave, and is asking about her dead daughter (a nod to the original ending).
A search party has been looking for the women for a few days. Juno, the organizer of the original expedition, is related to a politician and this has sparked media interest in the disappearance. While Sarah is in the hospital, the local sheriff arranges for her release, in order to help with the search.
A tracking dog has followed her scent from the road to a long abandoned mine. Using this as a starting point, a rescue party heads down into the shaft, to explore a series of caves discovered by the miners.
Now, I normally like to dispense with a plot description before criticizing a film, but I was ready to scream at the television at this point. You see, the elevator down into the mines was inoperable and at the upper levels. The walls looked unclimbable and the passage way into the caves was still boarded up. No one had came out that way, unless Sarah had broken down the barricade, rebuilt it, then climbed a shaft that would pose a problem to a very experienced climber, and squeezed past the elevator blocking the exit. She might be many things, but even Houdini would find this impossible.
Regardless, the party continues. Within the caves, they find the remains of one of the original party. Sarah has a flashback of the events in the caves, attacks the sheriff and runs off. Eventually, the crawlers find the group, they split up and panic ensues.
Sounds like a great idea, right? But the execution is fumbled right from the start. The original film was able to generate a sense of claustrophobia with sparse lighting and great set designs. In this movie, the cave seems as open and well lit as a Disneyland ride. You can see everything, even with the meager light sources the party brought along. Any crawler moving in the background is so plainly visible that you wonder how the party could miss it. And this lack of tension renders all the jump scares impotent. I jumped at the introduction of the crawlers in the first film. In this one, I could only mutter, "Oh yea, didn't see THAT one coming."
Also, director Jon Harris seems to have a fetish for bodily fluids pouring into people's mouth. So many of the gore shots involve corpses or bleeding bodies emptying blood into screaming mouths, It doesn't take ling before you get sick of it, rather than sickened by the scene.
Okay, I'm getting into SPOILER territory here. If you plan on seeing this movie, against all my warnings, scroll down to the END SPOILER sentence.
The final nail in the coffin was the reappearance of Juno. Left for dead in the first film, she shows up late in the sequel to help lead the survivors out of the cave, after a quick fight with Sarah. This development is a major plot hole the film doesn't even try to fix.
Juno says she's found a way out, and offers to lead every to the opening. When asked why she didn't get out while she could, she says her flashlight died out. So, just think about it for a second. Juno found an opening, but didn't wait nearby to take advantage of it. Instead, she went back into the caves, where her flashlight burned out, rendering her blind. So, she's been surviving in a dark series of caves, fighting off/avoiding creatures adapted to such an environment. Yes, she's one tough lady, but how could she survive when she couldn't see the crawlers coming after her? Oh, wait. The caves are lit up like an amusement ride, she could see everything. I call bull.
END SPOILER
By the time the nonsensical ending arrived, I was done with this film. It's no wonder the studio dumped it directly onto DVD. An audience would have laughed it out of the theaters.
Then again, a lot of people flocked to Nightmare over the weekend.
What god have I offended that would allow me to watch two botched movie follow ups in one weekend?
Descent 2 is the sequel to Neil Marshall's brilliant horror film about 5 women adventurers exploring a cave that is home to the crawlers, who look like a mutant cross between bats and humans. These beings are blind, but are able to hunt due to their keen sense of hearing, and slowly pick off the party one by one.
I won't go into the details of the first film. If you haven't seen it, go buy a copy. It's one of the best horror films of the past decade and deserves to be in every horror fan's collection. This sequel, however, falls far short of the mark.
You should know, the first film was released with two endings. The original (foreign cut) is a chilling conclusion, while the version released in the States ends about three minutes early, with a standard jump scare. I'm sure the studio wanted to leave things open for a sequel. Watch the unrated version with the original ending and you'll understand what I'm saying.
To be fair, the film makers try to appease fans of both endings in the beginning of the remake. Sarah, the survivor of the first film, is found wondering along a road in the middle of the forest. She has no memory of the events in the cave, and is asking about her dead daughter (a nod to the original ending).
A search party has been looking for the women for a few days. Juno, the organizer of the original expedition, is related to a politician and this has sparked media interest in the disappearance. While Sarah is in the hospital, the local sheriff arranges for her release, in order to help with the search.
A tracking dog has followed her scent from the road to a long abandoned mine. Using this as a starting point, a rescue party heads down into the shaft, to explore a series of caves discovered by the miners.
Now, I normally like to dispense with a plot description before criticizing a film, but I was ready to scream at the television at this point. You see, the elevator down into the mines was inoperable and at the upper levels. The walls looked unclimbable and the passage way into the caves was still boarded up. No one had came out that way, unless Sarah had broken down the barricade, rebuilt it, then climbed a shaft that would pose a problem to a very experienced climber, and squeezed past the elevator blocking the exit. She might be many things, but even Houdini would find this impossible.
Regardless, the party continues. Within the caves, they find the remains of one of the original party. Sarah has a flashback of the events in the caves, attacks the sheriff and runs off. Eventually, the crawlers find the group, they split up and panic ensues.
Sounds like a great idea, right? But the execution is fumbled right from the start. The original film was able to generate a sense of claustrophobia with sparse lighting and great set designs. In this movie, the cave seems as open and well lit as a Disneyland ride. You can see everything, even with the meager light sources the party brought along. Any crawler moving in the background is so plainly visible that you wonder how the party could miss it. And this lack of tension renders all the jump scares impotent. I jumped at the introduction of the crawlers in the first film. In this one, I could only mutter, "Oh yea, didn't see THAT one coming."
Also, director Jon Harris seems to have a fetish for bodily fluids pouring into people's mouth. So many of the gore shots involve corpses or bleeding bodies emptying blood into screaming mouths, It doesn't take ling before you get sick of it, rather than sickened by the scene.
Okay, I'm getting into SPOILER territory here. If you plan on seeing this movie, against all my warnings, scroll down to the END SPOILER sentence.
The final nail in the coffin was the reappearance of Juno. Left for dead in the first film, she shows up late in the sequel to help lead the survivors out of the cave, after a quick fight with Sarah. This development is a major plot hole the film doesn't even try to fix.
Juno says she's found a way out, and offers to lead every to the opening. When asked why she didn't get out while she could, she says her flashlight died out. So, just think about it for a second. Juno found an opening, but didn't wait nearby to take advantage of it. Instead, she went back into the caves, where her flashlight burned out, rendering her blind. So, she's been surviving in a dark series of caves, fighting off/avoiding creatures adapted to such an environment. Yes, she's one tough lady, but how could she survive when she couldn't see the crawlers coming after her? Oh, wait. The caves are lit up like an amusement ride, she could see everything. I call bull.
END SPOILER
By the time the nonsensical ending arrived, I was done with this film. It's no wonder the studio dumped it directly onto DVD. An audience would have laughed it out of the theaters.
Then again, a lot of people flocked to Nightmare over the weekend.
Friday, April 30, 2010
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
You'd think Platinum Dunes would eventually get it right. The studio has remade multiple horror films in the past few years and, like a room full of monkeys banging away at a typewriter, something worth of the Bard should come out of that someday.
Nightmare on Elm Street doesn't come close.
The film is soul destroying, a crass, lifeless remake that doesn't come close to the original, much less the franchise's worst sequel. It simply plods along, making you wonder if the film makers even know how to make a decent horror film.
The film's first mistake is making Kris (Katie Cassidy) the center of attention for the first part of the film. Maybe they thought renaming Tina (the original character) might throw the audience off, but it doesn't give Nancy (Rooney Mara) any screen time until half way through the movie. The delayed development of the "Final Girl" is a big mistake.
Nancy, in this film, is portrayed as a weak, mousy girl, someone you just can't see taking on Freddy. Yet, Tina dies, with her ex-boyfriend Jesse (Rod in the original) witnessing her death. On the run from the cops, he manages to convince Nancy that something in their shared dreams is trying to kill them, before being arrested and dying in his jail cell. Now Nancy, along with new romantic interest Quinten (Kyle Gallner) must uncover the truth about Freddy before they die in their sleep.
As I mentioned above, the problem with keeping Nancy and Quinten in the background for so long is that the audience doesn't get a chance to grow attached to them. The film brings them in as the protagonists too late for any real character development, and the few scenes towards the end of the film that try to make them feel like humans falls short. Yes, their flat performance could be rationalized as a result of sleep deprivation, but that would give the actors, and the screenplay, too much credit.
For all the frenzy generated by the casting of Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy, he's given remarkably little to do. Sure, he has a few creepy moments (like taunting a fresh victim with the fact that the brain keeps working seven minutes after death, giving them more time to "play"), and Freddy's pedophilic nature is more explicit than in the original films. But the script gives Haley little else to work with and his Freddy comes off like a fourth tier boogieman, much less frightening than, say, Jack Frost.
The film can't even spook the audience. The dream sequences are obvious from the start, ruined by changes in lighting, bombastic music cues and CGI ripple effects. The gore is minimal at best, so a basic shock scene is out of the question. All the audience is left with are simplistic jump scares, telegraphed to most horror fans and spoiled by the film's trailer. The film lacks any attempt at suspense, relying on simple "got 'cha" moments to make the audience jump.
And, as I mentioned in my review of The Crazies, it works for the right crowd. And a few members of the audience fell for them. But even the guys behind me, saying how each killing was "rad" and such, concluded that the movie was just "all right."
No, I wasn't eavesdropping, as their comments were audible to everyone in several seats surrounding them. As was the one who kicked the back of my chair with every jump scare. God, I hate the current cinema experience.
Getting back to the matter at hand, DO NOT spend your money on this mindless, soulless piece of drivel. Yes, I've said we should support R-rated horror films, if only to keep them in the theaters. But I'd rather see decent PG-13 horror movies than more of this dreck. Platinum Dunes has crossed the line far too often, and now we need to send them a message.
Nightmare on Elm Street doesn't come close.
The film is soul destroying, a crass, lifeless remake that doesn't come close to the original, much less the franchise's worst sequel. It simply plods along, making you wonder if the film makers even know how to make a decent horror film.
The film's first mistake is making Kris (Katie Cassidy) the center of attention for the first part of the film. Maybe they thought renaming Tina (the original character) might throw the audience off, but it doesn't give Nancy (Rooney Mara) any screen time until half way through the movie. The delayed development of the "Final Girl" is a big mistake.
Nancy, in this film, is portrayed as a weak, mousy girl, someone you just can't see taking on Freddy. Yet, Tina dies, with her ex-boyfriend Jesse (Rod in the original) witnessing her death. On the run from the cops, he manages to convince Nancy that something in their shared dreams is trying to kill them, before being arrested and dying in his jail cell. Now Nancy, along with new romantic interest Quinten (Kyle Gallner) must uncover the truth about Freddy before they die in their sleep.
As I mentioned above, the problem with keeping Nancy and Quinten in the background for so long is that the audience doesn't get a chance to grow attached to them. The film brings them in as the protagonists too late for any real character development, and the few scenes towards the end of the film that try to make them feel like humans falls short. Yes, their flat performance could be rationalized as a result of sleep deprivation, but that would give the actors, and the screenplay, too much credit.
For all the frenzy generated by the casting of Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy, he's given remarkably little to do. Sure, he has a few creepy moments (like taunting a fresh victim with the fact that the brain keeps working seven minutes after death, giving them more time to "play"), and Freddy's pedophilic nature is more explicit than in the original films. But the script gives Haley little else to work with and his Freddy comes off like a fourth tier boogieman, much less frightening than, say, Jack Frost.
The film can't even spook the audience. The dream sequences are obvious from the start, ruined by changes in lighting, bombastic music cues and CGI ripple effects. The gore is minimal at best, so a basic shock scene is out of the question. All the audience is left with are simplistic jump scares, telegraphed to most horror fans and spoiled by the film's trailer. The film lacks any attempt at suspense, relying on simple "got 'cha" moments to make the audience jump.
And, as I mentioned in my review of The Crazies, it works for the right crowd. And a few members of the audience fell for them. But even the guys behind me, saying how each killing was "rad" and such, concluded that the movie was just "all right."
No, I wasn't eavesdropping, as their comments were audible to everyone in several seats surrounding them. As was the one who kicked the back of my chair with every jump scare. God, I hate the current cinema experience.
Getting back to the matter at hand, DO NOT spend your money on this mindless, soulless piece of drivel. Yes, I've said we should support R-rated horror films, if only to keep them in the theaters. But I'd rather see decent PG-13 horror movies than more of this dreck. Platinum Dunes has crossed the line far too often, and now we need to send them a message.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
What's happening to R-rated horror?
Well, I discussed PG-13 horror earlier, which I feel can be quite effective. But I believe we are entering a phase where R-rated horror features in the major cineplexes will become very scarce. I don't like it, as PG-13 horror can not completely replace R-rated fare, but I think the writing is spelled out in blood on the wall.
I mentioned Snakes on a Plane in my post on PG-13 horror, and I need to revisit it for a moment. The studios had shot a PG-13 version of the movie, but internet buzz was furious and, in an attempt to cater to the seemingly obvious fan base, New Line Cinema added footage to earn the movie an R rating. Sure, the studio could have just let Jackson scream out his now famous tag line, but I assume New Line didn't want the fans to feel cheated, so we had some chilling (and horribly animated) scenes combining nudity and snake bites.
So the film was released and no one showed up.
Like a jilted date on prom night, I can only imagine the sense of betrayal running through New Line after the weekend box office results were released. All the money spent on reshoots and, like a prom dress or tuxedo, no way to get a refund. This was the beginning of the end for R-rated horror.
Let's go back a bit further, to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. No, let's go further back, to Steven Spielberg's Jaws. Granted, the film is rather tame in the gore department, but when it was released, audiences didn't know what hit them. Jaws is a relentless film, so intense that people were afraid to swim in the ocean after viewing it. The film's PG rating came under fire, with many feeling the film was too horrific for children. And, not to anyone's surprise, it was.
In 1981, Spielberg and George Lucas teamed up to release Raiders of the Lost Ark. Again, while the film was a critical and box office success, many complained it was too violent for younger children. In fact, the film originally received an R-rating, dropped to a PG after a column of flames was inserted to obscuring Belloq's grisly demise.
Then came Temple of Doom and Gremlins. Both movies weren't really R-rated material, but were not for younger children plopped down in their seats and left unattended. Remember, this is the 1980's, when slasher films such as the Friday the 13th franchises were pushing the limits of on-screen violence and gore. I think that Temple and Gremlins both presented family units (of sorts) in peril, sticking together to overcome the horrors of outside forces, which the MPAA took into account when issuing both film's ratings.
After the uproar (but box office success) of these films, the MPAA created the PG-13 rating, indicating to parents that the films contained material unsuitable for younger children. At first, I feel this rating worked well. It kept films that might have earned an R-rating for minor scenes or thematic elements from being isolated from their target audiences. While younger children probably shouldn't have seen movies such as Red Dawn and Dreamscape, it allowed the teenagers to flock to them.
And there is the problem. Like Star Wars, which added a decapitated arm to avoid a G-rating, studios discovered that teens would view a PG-13 movie over one rated PG. Thus, the inevitable creep started. Studios began pushing the limits of a PG-13 rating, making movies that implied as much as possible. True, some things were still off limits, but at this point, I think you'd be lying if you said that Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me wouldn't have received an R-rating were it released back in the 70's.
Meanwhile, R-rated movies started stretching the limits of nudity and violence on the screen. I saw Freddy vs. Jason in the theaters on it's opening week and remember my jaw dropping at what was on screen. Not that I was shocked by the mayhem, but that an R-rated movie could get away with it. This was a level of violence that, 20 years ago, would have condemned a film to an X-rating, or forced the studios to release it unrated. And 2009's remake of My Bloody Valentine has Betsy Rue in a prolonged full frontal nudity scene that would have made submitting the film for an R-rating an exercise in futility.
Okay, so how does all this relate to the demise of R-rated horror, you are probably wondering. Yes, I can get a little wordy, but it all makes a point. If you look at the audience of most PG-13 movies, it's mostly families. These movies imply, but don't show, making them the Looney Tunes of this age. And teens can go to them without feeling like they're watching anything childish.
Yes, PG-13 movies can be as tame as Iron Man (come on, that was a PG film dressed up as a slutty PG-13), but it doesn't matter. The rating implies that it's not for kids and, added to the crack down on underage kids sneaking into R-rated films, it's no wonder the theaters are full of teens watching them.
Meanwhile, the R-rated film is aiming for it's target audience, the 17 and up audience, which is either download the film illegally, or waiting for it to reach iTunes or DVD. I know, as I'm guilty of this as well (at least the waiting for DVD part). What happened to Snakes on a Plane continues to be played out in theaters every month. The target audience won't be bother going to the theaters, waiting until they're able to catch the film at home.
(See how I tie it all together? Okay, I'll stop patting my own back now.)
I think the test for R-rated horror isn't this week's release of A Nightmare on Elm Street remake. No, the true test will be in August, when Piranha 3D hits the screen. Previous, non-3D films such as the Friday the 13th remake have shown a significant drop in the box office after opening weekend, but still make back production costs. However, My Bloody Valentine and The Final Destination both had strong box office draw after their opening weekend. Add to that the pounding both Saw 6 and Halloween 2 took at the box office, and the performance of any R-rated movie in 3D is going to be closely watched by other major studios as an indicator of things to come.
So, I feel R-rated horror might become harder to find in the theaters, unless the fans support it. So don't wait for the online version of A Nightmare on Elm Street. See the film in the theaters. I plan on it. Sure, we might all blow $10 on a piece of trash, but it's a small price to pay in order to keep R-rated horror in the theaters.
And no, I'm not paid by Platinum Dunes. However, I know that, when it comes to Hollywood, your dollars in the theaters is like voting, it's the only way your opinion will be counted. And I'm don't know of any other R-rated horror films opening in theaters after it until Piranha 3D. And that is a damn shame.
I mentioned Snakes on a Plane in my post on PG-13 horror, and I need to revisit it for a moment. The studios had shot a PG-13 version of the movie, but internet buzz was furious and, in an attempt to cater to the seemingly obvious fan base, New Line Cinema added footage to earn the movie an R rating. Sure, the studio could have just let Jackson scream out his now famous tag line, but I assume New Line didn't want the fans to feel cheated, so we had some chilling (and horribly animated) scenes combining nudity and snake bites.
So the film was released and no one showed up.
Like a jilted date on prom night, I can only imagine the sense of betrayal running through New Line after the weekend box office results were released. All the money spent on reshoots and, like a prom dress or tuxedo, no way to get a refund. This was the beginning of the end for R-rated horror.
Let's go back a bit further, to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. No, let's go further back, to Steven Spielberg's Jaws. Granted, the film is rather tame in the gore department, but when it was released, audiences didn't know what hit them. Jaws is a relentless film, so intense that people were afraid to swim in the ocean after viewing it. The film's PG rating came under fire, with many feeling the film was too horrific for children. And, not to anyone's surprise, it was.
In 1981, Spielberg and George Lucas teamed up to release Raiders of the Lost Ark. Again, while the film was a critical and box office success, many complained it was too violent for younger children. In fact, the film originally received an R-rating, dropped to a PG after a column of flames was inserted to obscuring Belloq's grisly demise.
Then came Temple of Doom and Gremlins. Both movies weren't really R-rated material, but were not for younger children plopped down in their seats and left unattended. Remember, this is the 1980's, when slasher films such as the Friday the 13th franchises were pushing the limits of on-screen violence and gore. I think that Temple and Gremlins both presented family units (of sorts) in peril, sticking together to overcome the horrors of outside forces, which the MPAA took into account when issuing both film's ratings.
After the uproar (but box office success) of these films, the MPAA created the PG-13 rating, indicating to parents that the films contained material unsuitable for younger children. At first, I feel this rating worked well. It kept films that might have earned an R-rating for minor scenes or thematic elements from being isolated from their target audiences. While younger children probably shouldn't have seen movies such as Red Dawn and Dreamscape, it allowed the teenagers to flock to them.
And there is the problem. Like Star Wars, which added a decapitated arm to avoid a G-rating, studios discovered that teens would view a PG-13 movie over one rated PG. Thus, the inevitable creep started. Studios began pushing the limits of a PG-13 rating, making movies that implied as much as possible. True, some things were still off limits, but at this point, I think you'd be lying if you said that Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me wouldn't have received an R-rating were it released back in the 70's.
Meanwhile, R-rated movies started stretching the limits of nudity and violence on the screen. I saw Freddy vs. Jason in the theaters on it's opening week and remember my jaw dropping at what was on screen. Not that I was shocked by the mayhem, but that an R-rated movie could get away with it. This was a level of violence that, 20 years ago, would have condemned a film to an X-rating, or forced the studios to release it unrated. And 2009's remake of My Bloody Valentine has Betsy Rue in a prolonged full frontal nudity scene that would have made submitting the film for an R-rating an exercise in futility.
Okay, so how does all this relate to the demise of R-rated horror, you are probably wondering. Yes, I can get a little wordy, but it all makes a point. If you look at the audience of most PG-13 movies, it's mostly families. These movies imply, but don't show, making them the Looney Tunes of this age. And teens can go to them without feeling like they're watching anything childish.
Yes, PG-13 movies can be as tame as Iron Man (come on, that was a PG film dressed up as a slutty PG-13), but it doesn't matter. The rating implies that it's not for kids and, added to the crack down on underage kids sneaking into R-rated films, it's no wonder the theaters are full of teens watching them.
Meanwhile, the R-rated film is aiming for it's target audience, the 17 and up audience, which is either download the film illegally, or waiting for it to reach iTunes or DVD. I know, as I'm guilty of this as well (at least the waiting for DVD part). What happened to Snakes on a Plane continues to be played out in theaters every month. The target audience won't be bother going to the theaters, waiting until they're able to catch the film at home.
(See how I tie it all together? Okay, I'll stop patting my own back now.)
I think the test for R-rated horror isn't this week's release of A Nightmare on Elm Street remake. No, the true test will be in August, when Piranha 3D hits the screen. Previous, non-3D films such as the Friday the 13th remake have shown a significant drop in the box office after opening weekend, but still make back production costs. However, My Bloody Valentine and The Final Destination both had strong box office draw after their opening weekend. Add to that the pounding both Saw 6 and Halloween 2 took at the box office, and the performance of any R-rated movie in 3D is going to be closely watched by other major studios as an indicator of things to come.
So, I feel R-rated horror might become harder to find in the theaters, unless the fans support it. So don't wait for the online version of A Nightmare on Elm Street. See the film in the theaters. I plan on it. Sure, we might all blow $10 on a piece of trash, but it's a small price to pay in order to keep R-rated horror in the theaters.
And no, I'm not paid by Platinum Dunes. However, I know that, when it comes to Hollywood, your dollars in the theaters is like voting, it's the only way your opinion will be counted. And I'm don't know of any other R-rated horror films opening in theaters after it until Piranha 3D. And that is a damn shame.
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