Universal Studios to take the Horror out of their Classic Monsters

You can't say I didn't warn you of this.  The Hollywood Reporter sat down with the heads of the major studios for a roundtable discussion of their future plans, and Universal announced the studio will turn their Classic Monster Universe into a realm of superheroes and villains.

If you don't want to scroll through the article, here's the message delivered by Universal Studio's Donna Langley....

Donna and Brad, how do you get into this game? Donna has said that Universal's monster movies are not competitive with the superheroes.

LANGLEY To Alan's point, we have to mine our resources. We don't have any capes [in our film library]. But what we do have is an incredible legacy and history with the monster characters. We've tried over the years to make monster movies — unsuccessfully, actually. So, we took a good, hard look at it, and we settled upon an idea, which is to take it out of the horror genre, put it more in the action-adventure genre and make it present day, bringing these incredibly rich and complex characters into present day and reimagine them and reintroduce them to a contemporary audience.

Yep, the studio failed to deliver decent horror films over the years, so rather than figure out how their previous attempts went astray, the studio heads have decided to turn their library of Classic Monsters into action heroes and villains.

And, giving the additional footage inserted into Dracula Untold, as well as the CGI heavy action sequences in the film, one can't help but feel the studio is banking on turning their creatures of the night into supernaturally powered versions of the characters they are competing with in the Marvel and DC Cinematic Universe.

And you can't say I didn't see this one coming.  I was writing about the problems Universal had translating it's Classic Monster franchise to modern audiences back in 2012, as a writer for Planet Fury.  And, although I can not find a link to my article, as the website is closed (I would have provided a link for this article, but it wasn't available.  You'll have to take my word on this.), here's a quote from my computer of the article I wrote back in July, 2012 concerning the studio's attempt to launch an online game filled with their Classic Monsters.

And this screen shot.

As to the game, I can’t comment on how it looks.  But I can say that I doubt the programmers and designers have never seen a Universal monster movie before, as the game’s objective is to, “Defeat your opponents – get the girl!”

Had the game designer had watched a film like Creature from the Black Lagoon, they’d understand why the Gill-Man shouldn’t get the girl.  Yes, he might be a misunderstood monster looking for a mate, but we know date rape would not be problem for him.  And the Frankenstein’s Monster doesn’t have a stellar track record with girls (though, judging by the site’s artwork, the damsel in the game is at least 18 years old).  The goal of having the monster return to their base with the girl ignores the simple fact that the monster has plans that aren’t in her best interest.

No, nothing nefarious going on here.

Besides, turning the monsters into heroic figures robs them of their power, the mix of sympathetic creature and terrifying beast that makes them special.  Instead, players will control another superhero with a set of special attacks and abilities, at least as long as you have your credit card handy (of course, Bigpoint is going to make a buck off this “free” game).

Fans shouldn’t be surprised that Universal is mismanaging their monster franchises.  The studio has a history of missteps and mistakes date back to the late 30s, and the most recent efforts to revitalize the monsters (Van Helsing and The Wolfman) were colossal flops.  Yet it’s surprising the studio can’t make the monsters work for a modern audience.  After all, the early films followed a similar game plan to Marvel Studio’s recent success with The Avengers.  All Universal need do is find talented filmmakers with an enthusiasm for the project, or the skill sets to make each creature shine, then produce a series of fun, successful solo outings before bringing all of them together for a big monster mash. 

Wow, can't say I didn't see this one coming.

As for their current plans, I think Universal is over thinking things.  Rather than try to make a blockbuster series right off the block, the studio should reintroduce their Classic Monsters in a series of more modestly budgeted films.  This approach, coupled with filmmakers who have an understanding of the Classic Monsters rather than those interested in generating a franchise, would introduce a new generation of filmgoers to what makes these monsters so special, while keeping the elements that resonate for older fans.  And a lower budget will allow the studio to up the budget for the following films while garnering audience interest into these characters, until they can release an all-out brawl worthy of the Universal name.

But no.  Rather than blazing a new trail, one more rooted in horror rather than super-heroics, delivering moviegoers something they haven't seen in a long while, Universal is intent on forging the monsters into the realm of superheroes.

After all, why tell a story when we can do this?

I guess it's easier to CGI a massive fist of bats than write a script that is scary or original.  I'm just glad to have the original films on DVD, so I don't have to watch this catastrophic mess in the making.
 

Joe Sherlock talks about his new movie, Blood Creek Woodsman!

Northwest horror filmmaker Joe Sherlock premieres his latest film, Blood Creek Woodsman on Sunday, November 16, at The Clinton Street Theater in Portland, OR at 4 pm.  Tickets are only $5 (cash only), so be sure to come out and support homegrown horror.

Joe was kind enough to answer a few questions about the film via email...

The Shadow Over Portland : What can you tell readers about Blood Creek Woodsman?

Joe Sherlock: My frequent film buddy John Bowker wanted to do a body count movie. He had just finished directing a project he wrote and I shot and acted in, so asked if I wanted to direct this one and produce it with him. John wrote it and really crammed in a lot of kills and we used literally gallons and gallons of fake blood! If you like bloody b-movies, 80s slashers, etc., you are likely to dig Blood Creek Woodsman.

 TSOP: It sounds like a slasher film, but so did your last film, Drifter.  Are supernatural elements in this film?

JS: Maybe. We start off finding out about Bud Kindrick, a logger who found out a terrible secret and went on a killing rampage. Then we shift to a year later and a series of bloody killings have begun. Many think it's Kindrick, back from the grave somehow, but that's the mystery - who is doing these new killings? The sheriff, his deputy, estranged wife and a nosy reporter are all trying to find out what's going on, as the body count rises around them.

TSOP:  What inspired you to make this film?

JS: As I said, John's initial inspiration was to do a body count movie, a throwback to the slashers of the 80s. I was excited by the challenge of it, since it was a big cast and lots of creative death scenes to stage, but also looked forward to putting my own flavor in the movie: a sense of fun, cool camera angles, attractive ladies and some cool gore shots.

TSOP: Can you tell us a bit about the locations where you shot the film?

JS: I had already shot one of my movies, Underbelly, at my friend's restaurant/bar and house out near Mt. Angel, Oregon. Knowing we could should there again, John had those locations in mind when writing the movie. Once we began, however, we also were shown some great places in and around the Mt. Angel/Silverton area that we took advantage of to give the movie a great rural feel. 

We also shot at an old house in Peoria, Oregon, one that we'd used before on movies like Twisted Fates and Platoon of the Dead. Another great location was a rustic cabin on a lake south of Salem, Oregon. We had shot a couple of projects there in the early 2000s and once again, it lent a terrific rural feel to the movie.

One other thing that was great was that a regular at the bar was a guy who bought, stripped and resold retired police cars. He let us use one of his cars and a couple of light bars. With some vinyl lettering and a custom door magnet, we upped the production value with some decent-looking police vehicles. 

TSOP:  Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think this film was shown at Cypticon Seattle a few years ago.  What have you done to the film since this screening?

JS: Yes it was, and not a whole lot. Honestly there was a bit of sound tweaking, some tightening of the edit, a bit of music enhancement. Also, we spent time getting a behind-the-scenes featurette, commentary track and blooper reel together for the dvd. With other projects going on and people being busy it has just taken a while to get all the details finished up. 

 TSOP:  I understand you’ll have a Q and A after the screening.  I assume you’ll be there.  What cast members will also be attending the premiere? 

JS: I will be there, along with John Bowker, who wrote the script. A whole bunch of cast members are planning to be there including Adam Paris, Bob Olin, Bryn Kristi, Rob Merickel, William J. Bivens and Craig Farrell. We'll also have some prizes to give out.

TSOP:  Will you have DVDs of this movie, and others in your filmography, for sale at the screening?

JS: I should have copies of Blood Creek Woodsman available along with my other stuff, including Drifter, Twisted Fates and others.

TSOP:  What’s your next project?

JS: I am at the very tail end of my weird horror/sci-fi thing called Odd Noggins. I have just a few pick-up shots to do, a small bit of editing and it will be done. Hoping to have it done and a screening set up before the end of the year if I can. You can see more info at http://www.skullfaceastronaut.com

TSOP: Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions.  And I hope the screening is a big success.

JS: Thanks so much, Chris. Love the blog and hope all the Portland horror and b-movie fans will come out for the Blood Creek Woodsman screening!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you'd like to learn more about Joe Sherlock and his projects, read my interview with him before the Portland premiere of Drifter here.  And be sure to head to The Clinton Street Theater on Sunday for the premiere of Blood Creek Woodsman and support local horror filmmakers!  And be sure to bring a few extra bucks and pick up a DVD or two!!

Shark Attack in the Mediterranean (2004)

Okay, I thought I was done with the shark attack movie reviews, but I picked up this DVD and had to share the cheesy goodness.  A German television production known as Hai-Alarm auf Mallorca and Shark Alarm, this film fits into the so bad it’s awesome category of shark attack films.  You might still find the dubbed DVD version around and, if you love cheesy shark flicks, just buy it.  You’ll thank me later.

The film opens as Sven Hansen (German bodybuilder turned actor Ralf Moeller) is reconsidering his life in the island of Mallorca.  His wife was attacked and killed by a shark, and he feels the need to leave in order to help alleviate his grief. 

Hanging onto his job as a helicopter pilot, he picks up marine biologist Julia Bennett (Julia Stinshoff), heading for her new job at a shark research facility on the island.  Their flight to Mallorca is interrupted by a distress call from a boat that lowers tourists in a cage to view the sharks that call the island home.  The captain, in a display of sheer stupidity dictated by the script, trapped several tourists in shark infested waters by trying to relocate the boat without bringing up the shark cage.  Sven and Julia rescue the tourist, but Sven’s not happy to find that his daughter Maja (Oona-Deva Liebich) is part of the crew.

Upon their rescue, the tourists report that something big came out of the local trench and scared the other sharks away.  Soon, people start dying and Sven is convinced the shark that killed his wife is back, bigger and badder than before.

And, as expected, Sven is right.  The institute’s head doctor, Verena Bandauer (Katy Karrenbauer), is hiding the fact that a megalodon escaped its pen and killing Sven’s wife before disappearing into the trench.  Now it’s back, full grown and ready to unleash itself on the population of Mallorca.

Toss in Maja disobeying her father by taking part in a jet-ski competition and a cover up involving the local authorities, and you can just sit back and you know that mayhem will ensue.

I told you I was right!

I should warn you, the shark attacks is minimal, with most of the onscreen mayhem confined to the final act.  This shouldn’t be a surprise, as the film was a TV production, but the script makes up for the lack of megalodon action with lots of fun little action sequences and amazing (and possibly unintentional) campy bits that manage to keep your interest.

For example, the institution is willing to kill Sven to keep him from pressing about the shark.  So we get the moment when Sven is run off the road by a truck, leading to an amazing WTF moment, as Sven jumps out of his jeep midair after he’s run off a cliff.  The moment is crazy enough, but add in scenes of some nameless rich dude explaining to a bevy of bikini-clad women how to properly cook meat on a grill, and how a true grillmaster doesn’t fall from the sky, makes the moment Sven drops into the pool, while his jeep explodes behind everyone more enjoyable than it should be. 

I don't notice the fireball behind me, as I'm

so enthralled by Sven.

The rich guy returns later in the film, as Sven has to borrow another of his cars.  As expected, the rich guy submits to Sven’s masculinity and admits, “I suppose I can’t stop you.”  Seriously, the scriptwriters (Jorg Alberts, Roland Heep, Frank Koopmann and Don Schubert) deserve some recognition for that moment if the dubbed version is even close to the original script.  The scene is played so seriously that one can’t help but laugh. 

Yes, the film is dubbed, but the voice actors are as serious as the actors on screen, which adds to the camp factor.  And I have to mention that the film contains a rather satisfactory ending for a character working with the nefarious institution.

Adding to the craziness is a scene with German pop star Jeanette Biedermann, as a band member at the big jet-ski competition, performing a song with the chorus, “Hey, hey, hey, do the 69!”  I don’t jet-ski, so I wondered if this was a mix of race logo with a racy implication.  Than I saw the cover for her album Break On Through (the song 69 is listed as part of the Platinum edition) and I didn’t even bother trying to look any further into jet-ski terminology.

Yeah, that should eliminate any doubts about what the song is about.

Despite the faults, the film manages to be engaging during most of its 93 minute running time.  The pace is fast enough to keep from dragging out too long, and some of the dialog makes more sense when you know the background of the actors.  For example, Moeller was in the running to play the T-1000 in Terminator 2, until the filmmakers decided to go with a skinnier actor to play against Arnold.  So, when Julia mentions to a police officer, “I’ll be back,” before running her car into the station to free Sven, it’s easy to snicker at the moment, rather than feel it’s just a blatant rip-off moment (which, to be honest, it is).

And when the shark finally attacks, the scenes are pretty good.  Okay, the effects fall short at times, as parts of the shark become transparent or the shark’s scale is questionable.  But the attack scenes are well staged, and the effects department was smart enough to create a wake around the shark’s fin, which is more than can be said for some other giant shark movies out there.

Yeah, the scale and perspective is screwed, but this shot still looks cool.

It’s goofy fun, and worth a look if you can get it.  Whether the cheese was intended or not, Shark Attack in the Mediterranean is one of those perfect rainy Saturday morning movies, when it’s time to curl up on the couch with a blanket and a bowl of sugar-filled cereal and let your inner five year old run wild.   

Interview with Dima Levanchuk, Northwest filmmaker and his Kickstarter campaign for Rayke

The Shadow Over Portland: I’m talking with Dima Levanchuk, Northwest filmmaker who’s launched a Kickstarter campaign for his latest short, Rayke.  Can you tell me what the movie is about?

Dima Levanchuk: The movie is a short creature horror movie, about a group of friends who go into the woods.  And, being party animals, they disturb the spirit of the forest, so a creature comes out of the ground and attacks them, killing them and all sorts of horrible things.

The film will be shot in Seattle and we’re looking at filming in November and early December.

TSOP: Have you delved into public funding before? 

DL: We’ve never done Kickstarter before.  This is our chance to see how it works and such. 

TSOP: You’ve directed several shorts, and a feature called The Tramp.

DL: Yes.  I’ve been shooting films for almost five years now, and we’ve been collecting a bunch of awards here and there.  Best director, best special effects, and others. 

Than we decided to try shoot a feature about a woman who is brutalized, gets a bunch of weapons and kicks ass.  That one won awards down in Texas at a film festival. 

But we want to stay in Washington, and bring actors, make up artist and such to work here.  There is a lot of horror work, but, unfortunately, not a lot of big work, but our goal is to change that.

TSOP: Do you have an estimated running time for Rayke?

DL: Yeah, about 11 minutes long.  Of course, the more money we get, the longer it could run, as long as it’s entertaining.  I don’t want it to run too long.

TSOP: Is the monster an original creation, or one based on folklore?

DL:  We’re combining a few elements from the Berwick Monster legend and creepy pasta creature Rake.  So it’s a new creature, just a mix of different ones.  Though, if you look a rendition of the Berwick Monster, I guess it’s based on a legend.

TSOP: The actors you’re hiring, are they local?  Have the worked on films before?

DL:  We have one actor from Portland and four actors from Seattle.  All of them have worked on short movies, and one is a theater director. 

TSOP: Your creature will be a full body prosthetic creation. 

DL: Yes, Adam Lee Matthew will be doing prosthetics on hands, back, feet.  Lily Wilson, who’s a makeup artist, she’ll be applying the prosthetics.  And, of course, we’ll have blood and all the fun stuff.

The prosthetics will probably be about 4 to 5 hours of application time.  And the actor will be running around in the Northwest weather in November and December, practically naked except for the prosthetics.  Though he says, “I’ll suffer for it,” we’ll figure out how to take care of that. 

TSOP: Now, you’re filming in November and December in the Northwest, and it’s going to rain.  How will that affect the creature makeup?

DL:  We are going to use materials that are not as affected by water.  Adam says the makeup be okay in water and other stuff.  We considered that, because makeup in the rain can look like crap.  But, we have an experienced crew and I know they will pull it off. 

TSOP: If people are interested in seeing your previous work, where can they go to view your other shorts, or the feature?

DL: Well, my central hub is GrittyFlix.com (http://www.grittyflix.com/), which is where I will put all of our project information.  It’s how people can get a hold of us and check out our stuff.

TSOP: The Kickstarter campaign runs through October 30 (at 11:11 am PST).  How are you doing so far?

DL:  It’s okay.  Not were we want to be, but if the Kickstarter campaign doesn’t go through, we’ll figure out how to get the money together and make the film.  Either way, we’ll make the film. 

That’s indie filmmaking.  It’s hard to find money.  But you keep working at it and eventually you find something. 

TSOP:  I see you have some interesting incentives, such as prosthetics from the monster. 

DL: Yes.  Adam is going to be sculpting something we can put in a little jar with Northwest moss, or a lower jaw all hacked up and destroyed.  And, about 10 minutes ago, I added a new incentive, where you will get a statue, about 6 inches tall, of the creature.

Adam, who’s doing the sculptures, he has a Masters Degree in sculpture from University of Washington, so he approached the design like an artist.  He was, this is a really good piece, and I’m like, yes, but it’s part of a movie.  Now, he’s like, “I want to sell this for like, $1000,” and I’m like, “You can’t, it’s an incentive.”  It’s this creative battle, with an artist who wants to promote and sell his work, and the fact that it’s a incentive for the movie. 

TSOP:  A list of all the incentives is available on your Kickstarter page.

DL:  Yes, and whether we collect the money or not, we will put them on the movie webpage, raykethemovie.com.  So people can go there and decide that want something and it will be available.  So, if they want to give us some money for the film, we’ll send them something.  Just because the Kickstarter campaign is over, it doesn’t mean people can’t get anything. 

TSOP:  What are your plans for Rayke once it’s completed?  Will it be released on a website, or are you going on the festival circuit?

DL:  Well, the idea is to see if people want to see something like this, if they are interested in a creature movie.  If they are, we’ll look into doing a feature.  This is to test the waters, see what people think about it, to find out if it’s creepy or not, if people are as excited about it as we are.  And if they are, we’ll try to come with a feature concept, and funding for the movie. 

So, yes, we’ll have it online for people to see.  And we’ll bring it to some local film festivals, because we love to support the local area. 

TSOP: Dima, thanks for taking the time out of your schedule for this interview, and best of luck on the Kickstarter campaign.

DL:  Thank you.

If you’d like to contribute to the Kickstarter campaign, visit this link for more information and a list of the incentives available to contributors.  

The Poltergeist remake is rated PG-13, which is no reason to freak out

If you're a horror fan on the Internet, I'm sure you've heard the news that the Poltergeist remake has been given a PG-13 rating by the MPAA, for "intense frightening sequences, brief suggestive material and some language."

And, despite the fact that the rating description seems appropriate for the material in the 1982 original, several websites are framing this as another less-frightening Hollywood remake, thanks to the lack of the coveted R-rating that denotes a "true" horror film.

But, should you be up in arms about the remakes rating, I suggest you calm down and remember that the original was rated PG.  Yes, back then, the PG-13 rating had yet to be created.  Poltergeist, as well as Gremlins and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, were films that pushed the Motion Picture Associate of America to create the PG-13 rating, a way to designated a film was fine for teens, but might not be suitable for younger children.

Yeah, this scene won't give toddlers nightmares.

And I won't deny that, since it's inception, the PG-13 rating has become both a marketing ploy and a joke.  Films that should be PG (like The Avengers) add enough of certain element to gain the rating as a way to imply this film is too intense for kids, attracting the teen crowd.  Meanwhile, other films cut back on the blood sprays (Expendables 3, I'm looking at you) to make the action sanitized enough for a PG-13 rating, aiming gain a few extra box office bucks from a younger demographic.

It's silly, to say the least, when a film featuring the murder of countless people can earn a PG-13, while a movie like The King's Speech earns an R rating because someone uses the F-word a few too many times.

And it's rather silly that I have to use the term "F-word" in order to not be listed as an explicit blog, but that's our current state of the nation.  Mowing down rows of evil soldiers is okay, but saying the F-word is bad.  Or showing too much nudity, regardless of the content.

But I digress.  Let's get back to Poltergeist.

The original film proves that buckets of blood and topless women aren't needed to scare you.  Hell, I still get chills from the originals, while many of the slasher films I saw in the 80s are little more than fond memories.  Sure, the effects are awesome, but the combination of boobs and blood isn't really scary.

Now, the creepy clown doll freaks me out.  Even more than 30 years later.

If this scene doesn't send chills down your spine, you can't be human.

Which is why I'm going to see the remake of Poltergeist.  If it's a bomb, it's a bomb.  But, as Spielberg and Hooper proved, it's not the rating that makes a movie scary, it's what the filmmakers do with the material.  Hell, I sat through 2013's Evil Dead and, despite some amazing practical effects, my mood went from boredom to annoyance by the final reel.

Though I doubt this remake will be as good as the original, I'll give it a chance, regardless of the rating, as should fellow horror fans.

Event Horizon (1997)

A bomb upon its initial release, Event Horizon has gained a bit of a cult following over the years.  Originally compared to films as diverse as 2001: A Space Odyssey and The Black Hole, to Alien and Hellraiser, such comments showed critics were off the mark.  The film is a high tech version of a classic haunted house tale, more akin to films like The House on Haunted Hill or The Legend of Hell House.  It's easy to envision Hammer, back in the 60s, making this film, had the budget and technology allowed such a production.

  

The film follows a deep space rescue ship, Lewis and Clark, as it heads into orbit around Neptune.  Upon awaking for suspended animation, Captain Miller (Laurence Fishburne) and his crew are given the details of their secret mission by Dr. Weir (Sam Neill).

Weir designed a ship, the Event Horizon, with an engine that can bend the fabric of space and allow for exploration into the farthest regions of space.  But, on her maiden voyage, the Event Horizon vanished.  Reappearing after seven years, Lewis and Clark has been dispatched to find out what happened to the ship and her crew.

I suspect they didn't find a place full of rainbows and unicorns.

Just a guess...

As expected, the captain of the ill-fated ship was able to release one last, cryptic message.  While no one has been able to figure out what was being said on the recording in the past seven years, one of the crewmembers of Lewis and Clark recognizes the language used as Latin and offers a rough translation, “Save us.”

Of course, all sorts of spooky things occur once the crew boards, and are marooned on, the Event Horizon.  Dr. Weir (yes, his name is one letter away from Weird, a not very subtle bit of foreshadowing) starts seeing visions of his dead wife, Miller sees the burning corpse of a crewman he left to die on an earlier mission, and the resident Latin expert realizes he might have mistranslated the message.

Yep.  Nothing creepy about Dr. Wir's design.

I’m not spoiling anything by saying a mysterious force has infested the ship (it’s another bit of early, unsubtle foreshadowing), which attacks several crewmembers before driving Dr. Weir insane.  Or, at least crazy enough to let the remaining members of the Lewis and Clark that, on its maiden voyage, the Event Horizon traveled through Hell and is planning to return there with a new crew.

Yes, mayhem ensues.

Taken as a haunted house film, Event Horizon is quite a bit of fun.  Despite the clumsy foreshadowing, Philip Eisner’s script is a nice, slow burn, which works by not only giving the audience time to accept a haunted (okay, possessed might be a better word) spaceship, but it makes Weir’s journey into insanity believable.  By slowly revealing what building the Event Horizon cost him, his transition into an emissary of Hell becomes quite plausible, keeping him from becoming a simple Pinhead rip off. 

Though scenes like this might have mislead a few people.

Given his later projects, such as the Resident Evil series, director Paul W. S. Anderson (credited as Paul Anderson) does a great job at keeping the pace restrained until the final act, despite a few minor burst of cinematic excess.  It isn’t until the final act that Anderson allows the action sequences to become more akin to his later films, giving an interesting looks at a director who could deliver something more enticing that a kickass zombie action flick. 

But the film’s success owes much to the sets.  The Event Horizon is dark, foreboding and quite different from the other ships in the film.  Bathed in shadows, with curved archways, an endless hall, and an engine room that looks more Gothic than a futuristic society would design, the ship is more like a haunted house than a futuristic space vessel.  Had Weir had mentioned the design of the ship took advantage of eldritch geometric patterns, I’d suspect the crew passed a bit to close to Azathoth rather than into Hell. 

Yeah, not Lovecraftian at all.

It’s unfortunate the intent of the being that inhabits the Event Horizon is never made clear.  The ship is making people relive their hidden “sins,” but only Weir seems to have any reason to feel guilt for the event he is forced to relive.  Miller did let a man die during a rescue mission, and he has every right to feel bad for leaving him behind.  But his action wasn’t based on cowardice (at least such motivation isn’t made clear), but rather to save the rest of his crew.  Another crewmember sees distressing visions of the son she’s left on Earth during her tour with the Lewis and Clark, yet the boy is with his father and, again, the script never suggests the father might be harming the child.  Again, she might feel guilty for her actions, but it is not sinful.   

And killing off crewmembers is not a good way to drag the crew to Hell, especially if their sins aren’t enough to cause eternal damnation.  The script never explains how killing off the crewmembers benefits the ship or works to achieve its ultimate goal.  It seems a better plan, once the crew is marooned on the Event Horizon, would be to rev up the drive right away and open the gateway back to Hell.  Yet, this doesn’t happen until a few crewmembers die because of the ship’s actions, lessening the people/souls it can bring back to Hell.  It’s not clear which the ship prefers.  While Weir states the ship wants another crew to bring back to the chaotic realm it re-emerged from, one has to wonder how killing off crewmembers will accomplish that goal.     

And when I said the action sequences become absolutely unbelievable during the climax, all I need mention is one character’s return to the Event Horizon, after being blown into space on the wreckage of the Lewis and Clark.  The moment stretches probability in the same way Gravity did at times (yes, I said it, and I stand behind it), making the moment more laughable than exciting.  And, of course, we have an unrealistic decompression sequence, which might have been easier to overlook had the missing crewmember not shown up outside the ship a few seconds earlier.

But the most glaring error is the electronic score during the film’s opening and closing credits.  Given that rest of the score is more fitting to the atmosphere of the film, the electronic dance number used during the closing credits is quit jarring.  Perhaps a slower piece of music to start, transitioning to the techno score, would have worked better, rather than punching the audience in their face with an inappropriate music choice when the ending credits start to roll.

Soundtrack created by DJ I've Come For Your Soul

Regardless of these few missteps, Event Horizon is a creepy little haunted spaceship tale.  It’s not perfect, but it’s better than some of the haunted house movies in recent years.  And it’s nice to see a film that relies more on setting and atmosphere to generate a sense of foreboding, rather than upon props, such as creepy dolls or strange looking demons, to generate a flurry of jump scares in a sophomoric attempt to frighten the audience.

Dracula Untold (2014)

In production before Universal studio’s announcement of plans to create a common cinematic universe for their classic monsters, Dracula Untold is rumored to have undergone reshoots to make it more of a first chapter in the upcoming run of monster films.  I can’t tell if the reports are true or not, but the movie is a cautionary tale of things to come, the attempt to build a superhero style franchise from the Universal catalog of things that go bump in the night.

Yes, this is a superhero origin story, with the Prince of Darkness as the hero.  And regardless of whether you go into the movie accepting that premise or not, the film is a crashing bore, a cacophony of CGI bats swarming through armies, Dracula (called Vlad throughout most of the film) crushing armies with his super powers, yet void of any suspense or sense of dread.  It’s a ninety-two minute movie that ends up feeling much longer than the running time.

Even when he dons the superhero costume, it's just dull

The opening is narrated by Vlad’s son, who tells of his father’s time as a political prisoner of the Turkish army.  Trained to fight for them, Vlad (Luke Evans, The Hobbit trilogy, Fast and Furious 6) earns the nickname The Impaler after leaving the bodies of the Turk’s enemies on spikes.

Now, ten years later, he’s the ruler of his homelands, married and with a young son.  He pays a tribute to the Turks to keep the peace, but is worried when signs of Turkish scouts appear within his borders.

Searching for the scouts, Vlad and his party investigate an isolated cave high on a mountain and encounter a powerful being that only Vlad is able to escape.  Speaking to a priest in his kingdom, Vlad is told this is the first vampire (Charles Dance, Game of Thrones), tricked by a demon and now cursed to remain within the cave unitl the end of time.  Oh, and the priest foretells this being will bring about the end of Vlad’s kingdom.

Yeah, it’s a “surprising” foreshadowing moment in the script, but you won’t be surprised how it turns out.

But that warning is enough to keep Vlad off the mountain, at least until he’s informed the Sultan wants more than his tribute.  With plans of future conquest, the Sultan’s emissary informs Vlad that he must supply him with young boys, new fodder for the Sultan’s army.  And his son will become a political prisoner, to insure Vlad’s compliance to this, and future, request. 

Vlad kills the soldiers sent to collect his son, than returns to the cave to implore the First Vampire to give him the power to smite his enemies.  The creature agrees, warning Vlad that he will have the power of a vampire for three days, as well as the blood lust.  Should he feed, he will become one of the undead, which will set the First Vampire free to hunt down the one that betrayed him.  But, should he abstain from drinking, he will return to his mortal state at dawn of the third day.

Yeah, trust this guy.  Than expect to defeat a nation in 

three days.  Even Tony Stark would have second thoughts.

Okay, you might think this review is spoiling too much of the movie, but if you can’t figure out were the story is going, then you might enjoy this film.  And all this occurs in the first half hour, or so, of the film.  I can’t really say how long it took before the rest of the film was spelled out for the audience, as I was surprised at how short the movie was.  The plot spoilers provided by the script could have occurred in the opening ten minutes, for all I know. 

And that’s the problem with this movie.  It lacks any sense of suspense or tension, as the audience already knows the outcome.  Vlad will resist the urge to drink blood, but events will prompt him to satisfy his thrist before the dawn of the third day.  We know who’s death will prompt this (remember, his son’s narration opens the film), so it’s only a matter of time before his wife (Sarah Gadon, The Amazing Spider-Man 2) bites it (sorry, could resist the pun).  And, though Gadon gives it her best, her death scene is so unbelievable that her imploring Vlad to drink will shatter any suspension of disbelief you might have at this point. 

I don't know why she wasn't credited as Sacrificial Lamb

It doesn’t help that the villains of the tale are cardboard cutouts, with no depth or interesting back-story.  As a contrast, Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man worked because the script also developed the Green Goblin as well as Spider-Man.  But the Turks are just evil because, well, they are, leaving us nothing to focus on but the journey of the film’s hero, whose fate is already determined.

Yes, his character is just evil.  No backstory, just EVIL!

I will say the acting is okay, but rather pointless, as the script doesn’t really give anyone a chance to shine.  Some of the CGI effects towards the end are nice looking, and at least the filmmakers didn’t shy away from Vlad’s signature forest of impaled victims.  All are presented in as gruesome a manner as the PG-13 rating will tolerate and I don’t have a problem with that.

My issue with the film is it spends all of its running time telling how Vlad becomes Dracula, but that’s already a forgone conclusion.  The script needed to deliver something more interesting.  But the focus is on spectacle, rather than story.  Vlad turns into a flock of bats, than back again into human form, so often it’s no longer impressive.  And as he controls a flock of real bats as a wrecking ball against an army, one has to wonder how the creatures of the night survived all the impacts against solid bodies in full armor.

As bad as this movie is, more worrisome is the ramifications for the future Universal Monster Universe.  And, in this section, I will revel a bit more than most readers might like, so beware.  SPOILERS AHEAD!

And, as a break, Luke Evan's best "I'm NOT Edward Collins" face.  

Sorry, doesn't really work.

Okay, this was bound to happen with a cohesive universe.  One has to have monsters that fight on the side of good, others on the side of evil.  And Dracula falls on the good side.  No, the filmmakers don’t go full Twilight, but his wife’s death, and his desire to protect his son from his vampire army, marks him as an anti-hero.  And, as the film ends, he is potentially reunited with his wife’s soul in a new body, only with the First Vampire trailing him and leaving us with cryptic line, “Let the games begin,” which sets Vlad up as the sensitive, trying to do good but forced to drink blood hero that Universal might hope will bring in female viewers, a la Twilight.

And this is the problem with Universal’s attempt to create a world in which their monsters interact.  The studio will pick the monsters to play the tragic hero, the absolute villain, and back them with enough CGI moments in an attempt to making the franchise another version of the Fast and Furious series. 

The Universal Monsters deserve better.  As the CLASSIC films show, these beings can be neither good nor bad, just misunderstood or cursed.  This is not a catalog of superheroes or supervillains, but creatures living within the limitations of their origins.  The Frankenstein Monster is the product of bad parenting and misunderstanding.  The Wolf Man is a human cursed to kill during the full moon, The Mummy longs for his true love, and The Creature from the Black Lagoon just wants to be left alone (at least until Julia Adams enters his lagoon).

Seriously, these monsters are MUCH MORE INTERESTING than

the sap coming to theaters tomorrow.

These are characters that more emotions when they are allowed to be amoral, beings beyond our concept of right or wrong, just the basic human emotions of desire, whether for acceptance, a mate or just not to kill during the full moon.

But, if Dracula Untold is any indication, we’re about to be introduced to a new set of Universal Monsters, where the battle lines are drawn.  A superhero verses supervillain smack down of epic CGI proportions. 

It’s too bad Universal doesn’t seem willing to try another route, one with engaging stories and characters that transcends CGI effects and rigid moral guidelines.  Should Dracula Untold be the future of the Universal Monsters, I dread the results, but not in the right way.