Okay, let's all calm down about the "proposed" Dr. Phibes remake

Oh, what a great way to start the week.  Naughty but Nice Rob posted, on Vincent Price's birthday, about a proposed remake of The Abominable Dr. Phibes, directed by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp.

Of course, horror fans weighted in on this, and probably increased the site's hits in a matter of hours.  And, as a horror fan, I visited the site and have to say, stop clicking on it RIGHT NOW!  At best, the story comes off as wishful thinking, but I suspect it was designed to increase traffic to the site.

Oh Vincent, how we miss you..

First off, the story talks about Burton's love of the film, and how he attended the premiere in 1971, as well as Depp's "genuine affection" for the original.  But the story lacks other important details, while ignoring the bankability of both parties.

First off, the story doesn't mention a studio connected to the project, a screenwriter or proposed start date.  Sure, both the director and his favorite star like the film, but that doesn't mean the pair are planning to remake the source material.  Or that any studio has signed on to produce/fund/distribute the proposed film.

And, as for studio involvement, let's look at the two principles "involved" in the update.  First, Burton has taken a beating at the box office last year.  Both Dark Shadows (with Johnny Depp) and Frankenweenie underperformed at the box office, and given the cost of most Burton films, it might make most executives leery of giving the director a load of cash for a potentially expensive remake of a rather obscure horror film.

Then we have Johnny Depp, who most consider box office gold.  Unless you consider the weak performance of Dark Shadows, and that  Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides wasn't the cash cow everyone expected.

At least I don't sparkle.  Surely that's worth a ticket.

And we have the potential fiasco that is The Lone Ranger.  Sure, Depp is not the main character, but no one is going to this film because Armie Hammer is in title role.  Given Depp's influence on Tonto's appearance (must resist a put-a-bird-on-it joke) and how the trailers are playing up the Pirates of the Caribbean connection, if this film tanks, most studios might consider another big budget Depp film too much of a risk.  And we haven't even discussed Disney trimming back the budget of this summer "blockbuster," despite Depp's drawing power.

  

So hard not to go all Portlandia on this still...

In short, it's too soon to tell if this proposed remake will come to fruition.  The story fails to take into account too many factors, such as box office performance of upcoming and previous films, and the willingness of a studio to roll the dice on a big budget film based on a rather obscure horror film.  I am including a link to the original story, but don't bother clicking on it.  You'll be wasting your time and energy on a story that seems more intent on cashing in on Price's birthday than one with any real information.

Besides, no studio would sign off on a film containing this scene, even with Depp and Helen Bonham Carter in the lead.  It would never make it past the MPAA.

Goodbye, Ray Harryhausen

A part of me wishes I hadn't agreed to see Iron Man 3 this evening, at least after reading the announcement of Ray Harryhausen's passing earlier this morning.  At first, I just wanted to dig into my DVD collection of his films and spending several hours marveling at his amazing work.

But then, I realized that spending the evening watching a big budget, CGI blockbuster is a tribute, as most of the people working on the effects team are likely Harryhausen fans as well, and spending time watching their work is a living testament to the monsters he created.

And it's no wonder so many effects artists are still inspired by his work.  Ray Harryhausen didn't make monsters, he brought them to life.  In all his films, the creatures were as real as their human counterparts.  They had personalities and motivations, they felt sorrow and pain.  They weren't rubber suited actors, or real animals filmed in a way to make them look gigantic.  Harryhausen's monsters delivered performances so touching and nuanced that one suspects their creator was an actor at heart.

It's not hard to see this in the films he's left behind.  Who can forget the death of Medusa in the original Clash of the Titans, the skeleton from The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad that practically cackles during the fight, or the agony endured by the Ymir in 20 Million Miles to Earth? These are unforgettable moments in cinema, which (to paraphrase Tom Hanks) are as defining as Citizen Kane or Casablanca.

I'm sure a lot of people are sharing their favorite Harryhausen moment, so here's mine.  It's the Children of the Hydra, from Jason and the Argonauts.  Damn, I still get chills just thinking about it.

This wasn't the first time Harryhausen used skeletons in a film, but it was (in my mind) his most effective.  Grown out of the ground by an evil priest, the skeletons are almost robotic as they advance on Jason and his men.  At least until the scream like bats out of hell and attack, which is.....

Oh, just watch the YouTube clip.  Enjoy, because it is amazing work.

Though the craft of stop motion (Harryhausen called his technique of combining human and monster actors Dynamation) has been replaced by computer generated effects, any special effects artists still works under the shadow of Ray Harryhausen.   Because no matter how often this scene has been homaged in films, such as Army of Darkness or the remake of The Mummy, no one has made it more effective.

Goodbye, Mr. Harryhausen.  I never had the privilege to meet you in person and tell you how much your films meant to me as a child, and continue to hold a place in my heart many years later.  And that's probably a good thing, as I'm sure I would have come off like a rambling idiot.  But I will miss you, as the world has become a duller, less wondrous place without you.

Saturday at The H. P. Lovecraft Film Festival

Saturday was a day full of cosmic horrors at The Hollywood Theatre, as day two of the Lovecraft Film Festival continued to spread cosmic horror across Portland. After catching a couple of films in Shorts Block 2, it was time for The Cabal Cut of Nightbreed, Clive Barker's first studio effort. Marred by studio dictated changes, Russell Cherrington has shown this restored version of Barker's film around the world, and the Lovecraft Festival is its final US screening.

As Cherrington mentioned during his introduction, the film is rather shoddy in picture and sound quality, as he culled footage from two work prints to restore the film. But it's an amazing work, as Barker's vision is intact and on screen for the first time. The focus is more on the residents of Midian and their plight once the humans (in this case, a town full of rednecks) discover their hidden world.

The film could still use a bit of trimming (Cherrington says he didn't use all the footage of the rednecks arming themselves, and I think he could have left a bit more out of the film), but the film is powerful and quite compelling. One can only hope Cherrington is able to secure the funding needs to clean up the print and restore Barker's original vision for film lovers and genre fans. The film screens again in just over one hour, with a special mystery guest in attendance.

Next up was a long short, Transcendent, directed by Mars Homeworld. This is an impressive film, a black and white silent film that follows Mary (Cassie Mosher) as she leaves the normal world behind to discover her true destiny. But, as this film is based loosely on Lovecraft's The Shadow Over Innsmith, this hero's journey has a rather dark, yet uplifting, ending.

I enjoyed this film quite a bit. The soundtrack by Mars enables the film to tell the story without dialog, yet this technique doesn't come off as a gimmick. The film looks beautiful and the long running time (for a short film) feels appropriate. It does dragged a bit in the middle, but that is a small quibble. The film is gripping, beautiful and worth seeking out.

Just a moment of disclosure here. I did get to interview Mars, Mosher and prop maker Skinner before I saw the film. While I appreciate their willingness to talk with me, I was a bit worried about a potential conflict of interest, so I want to let my readers know about the interviews. Expect to see them in a future post, and I stand by my review of the film. It's quite good and worth seeking out.

I wish I could be as positive with my final feature viewing on Saturday, 2012's The Thing on the Doorstep. An updated version of the Lovecraft story of the same name, this film shows the limitations and hazards of bringing such short stories to the screen.

I won't waste much time to summarize the plot. The story is Daniel Upton's statement about the events leading up to his murdering his friend, Edward Derby. The being Daniel killed, however, was possibly body possessed a darker force introduced into Edward's life by his new bride, Asenath Waite.

I suspect most horror fans know this story, but if you don't, expect spoilers for the next four paragraphs.

Okay, the film is rather long and padded, as the filmmakers tried to bring a direct adaptation of Lovecraft's story to the screen. But this is not the film's fatal weakness, but rather trying to keep Lovecraft's intent in a feature set in modern times.

First, as in the original story, the audience is told the force possessing Asenath, her father (or possible an older relative) was upset by the fact that he had to possess a daughter, not a son, as the male brain is superior. Yea, right. You'd think a dark wizard would appreciate possessing a gender less driven by testosterone and more able to focus on their studies, rather than a young male with more on his mind than academic studies.

It's an antiquated view of men and women that has no place in a modern adaptation of the story. But a bigger problem is when Daniel's wife discovers Asenath (really Edward) bound to a chair in the attic.

Though Daniel's wife is a phsycologist or councilor, the fact that she doesn't call the police is a major plot problem. As neither Edward or Asenath are her patient, the idea or patient/client confidentiality doesn't hold. Even if it did, she is under an obligation to report this incident as it indicates a clear danger to Asenath. But a greater flaw in the script is that this moral/profession dilemma is never addressed, and Edward just asked his wife to let him try and sort things out. And, of course, the scene is never referenced again.

Despite some good performances and film making, I gave up after the previously mentioned problems with the script. One could have solved these problems (maybe Asenath is dying, explaining the hasty reason for the marriage on her part, and the scene in the attic is explained away as an extreme BDSM game), but it's a weakness the screenwriters either didn't see or care about, and one I couldn't forgive.

But despite a weak finish, the after party at Tony Starlight's was a blast and I'm looking forward to all the fun and I sanity I can handle in day three. But work at 6:30 on Monday....

May blessed insanity claim me before that.

Friday at the H. P. Lovecraft Film Fest

Well, after months of waiting, the stars are right once again and it's time for Portland to get a massive dose of cosmic horror. As I waited on line for my wristband, I started looking over the schedule of events and realized I was not going to see everything I wanted. That path would only lead to madness and I have to be at work on Monday.

First up is a special screening of The Stone Tape, a 1972 BBC production written by Nigel Kneale (writer of the Quartermass films). The festival was given permission to screen this film from both the BBC and the estate of Mr. Kneale, and the odds of ever seeing this again was rather slim, so that presentation was a priority.

It's a slow burn and I could hear some members of the audience getting restless during the screening. But I enjoyed it, despite the dated video effects and poor video quality (the audience was warned the copy looked like a poor bootleg DVD). And it's a nice look at how, as science peels away the mysteries of the universe, we might not be able to deal with the answers we discover.

The ending is a bit weak, but it is engaging, well acted and quite creepy at times. It screens again this afternoon at the fest.

I ended the night with a 35mm screwing of John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness and it was great. The budget shows only at a few points and while a few of the characters are a bit underwritten or overplayed at times, this film is atmospheric and creepy as hell. Great locations, nice use of shadows and, as expected, a terrific score made this a big screen treat. Plays again Sunday afternoon.

Well, got to make my way back to The Hollywood, with a quick detour to Things From Another World (it's Free Comic Day, so show your brick and mortar comic shop some love and financial support). Today, it's the Cabal cut of Nightbreed, some dark radio adventure, then a maddening choice. Oh, the horrors!!!

Final Destination 3 (2006)

As Final Destination 2 opened on January of 2003, talks were underway for bringing the franchise to a close with a final film.  James Wong returned as director and, with writing partner Glen Morgan, sought to re-infuse the franchise with the atmosphere of dread and paranoia from the original film.  It’s evident with the opening credits of Final Destination 3, as the audience is treated to a CGI tour of a creepy carnival that sets the stage for the impending disaster.

But David Ellis’ work on the second film affected this production, as the gore and nudity is amped up beyond the previous entries in the series.  It’s unclear whether this was Wong’s doing, or a demand from the studio.  Regardless of the source, the increased exploitation moments undercut any attempts to return the franchise to its atmosphere-drenched origins.

While this film was intended as the final entry in the franchise, the script doesn’t deviate from the basic plot established by the earlier entries.  In this film, high school senior Wendy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is attending a graduation party at a local carnival.  As she boards the Devil’s Flight rollercoaster, Wendy experiences a vivid premonition of the car derailing, killing everyone on board.

Snapping out of her vision, her attempt to stop the car from leaving the boarding zone, resulting in the attendants releasing the restraints on her section of the cab to escort her out.  Several other students, all stereotypes from an assortment of previous high school movies, to get off as well.  But Wendy’s best friend Carrie and her boyfriend Jason are in a different section of the cab and depart on the ride, which derails as Wendy predicted.

Crappy CGI, here we come!

As you might guess, freak accidents start to claim the survivors.  Wendy finds out about the survivor of Flight 180 through Carrie’s boyfriend Kevin (Ryan Merriman) and starts searching the Internet for more information.  Along the way, she discovers the photos she took at the park holds clues to the fates awaiting each survivor.

Even after the opening credits, one can sense Wong’s attempt at more detailed character development and atmosphere than action.  But his effort doesn’t pay off, as these scenes feel incomplete.  A perfect example is when, before boarding the Devil’s Flight, Carrie tells Wendy she plans to end her relationship with Kevin in a few months.  Then after the accident, Kevin confides in Wendy that he’d plan to propose to Carrie at some point after graduation.  It’s a very human moment, as a person learns secrets that change how she views a person and their relationship, yet this plot point is just dropped.  Sure, Wendy keeps Carrie’s secret, but the script delivers no payoff to Wendy’s, and the audience’s, discovery.

However, Wong does develop Wendy’s feelings of paranoia concerning foes both seen and unseen well, playing off moments from the original film.  Wendy keeps hearing one song before another accident occurs, a wind that seems to have no point of origin keeps occurring around her.  Windtead’s performance is very good, conveying the sense of paranoia experienced by the main character that was missing from the second film.

But Final Destination 3 fails on several counts.  First, the CGI in the opening disaster is unrealistic.  Wong allows characters to defy the basic laws of physics to introduce a “cool” shot, fracturing the audience’s suspension of disbelief and making the sequence look more like a Looney Tunes Cartoon than a horror film.

What do you mean, I'm defying the laws of physics?  I never studied law.

The film also includes a prolonged nude sequence, as two female survivors visit a tanning salon, which ends up being the site of their demise.  This bit might be forgivable, but one can’t suspect Wong is criticizing his audience with the inclusion of Freddie (Sam Easton), a previous graduate who is trying to score footage of topless women at the park during the opening act.  He follows the two women, actually stereotypical valley girls, onto the Devil’s Flight, hoping to convince them to flash him, and his camera, during the ride.  This obnoxious character (well played by Easton) seems a rather shallow attempt by Wong to shame horror fans looking for more skin in the franchise.  And once the girls disrobe in the tanning salon, the most prolonged nude sequence in the franchise, it appears Wong is rewarding the Freddie’s in horror fandom for their persistence.  At least until the unlucky pair are set ablaze in the tanning booths, causing one to wonder whether Wong wants to punish the fanboys for demanding such a display, or the women who cater to such demands.

Wait, fanboy vengeance is the only reason I'm nude in this shot?  Where's my agent?!?!

Sexual politics aside, Freddie also delivers a fatal blow to the script in the opening disaster.  But, to get into that, I will tread into MAJOR SPOILER TERRITORY for the next three paragraphs.  You have been warned.

During Wendy’s premonition, the audience sees every detail of the accident, including the events that set the accident in motion.  We get a scene where the brake lines on the car start leaking, as an attendant forces a restraining device into place on one of the riders.  But, the ride might not have ended in a derailment had Freddie not been aboard.

Stalking the two valley girls, Freddie boards the Devil’s Flight behind them, hiding his video camera from the attendants.  As the car goes into a series of loops, he revels his camera and shouts for the girls to, “Show me your titties!”  As before, they are repulsed by his actions and one knocks the camera out of his hand.  Falling onto the tracks in front of the car, the camera causes the brake line to rupture, leading to the eventual derailment.

The problem is, once Wendy comes out of her premonition, snaps out of it, Freddie follows the two valley girls off the ride, taking his camera with him.  With Freddie off the ride, his camera will not be knocked loose (and, after all, the girl who knocks it out of his hand is off the ride as well), inferring the accident would not happen without this final trigger.  It’s a staggering moment of sloppy writing and, as it appears early in the script, makes the rest of the movie suspect for any audience member looking for more than blood and boobs.

So, we are in the sequel, right?

Another problem error is the script ignores the survivors from the second film.  While the events surrounding Flight 180 are referenced, along with the accident from the second movie, it seems strange the only people who thwarted Death are never mentioned.  Though the survivors might not fit into Wong’s original idea for the series, that one can not cheat Death in the end, a brief mention of their deaths, as the death of Alex is referenced in Part 2, would have cleared up this plot hole. 

Despite these flaws, the kills are pretty good and the build up to most of the deaths are more Rube Goldberg-est than the second film, and thus more suspenseful.  And while the ending seems rather lackluster for the conclusion of a series, it works pretty well to sum up Wong and Morgan’s ultimate statement, that Death will never be cheated out of its prize.

But as long as writers can concoct bizarre ways for people to die, you know the Final Destination franchise will continue.  So rev up your engines as the series takes on 3D and tries to blow you out of your theater seat.

Well, at least I have The Thing prequel to look forward to....

Warm Bodies (2013)

Zombie fans needn’t shun Warm Bodies for fear of the sparkling undead infecting the genre.  Though the film is more romantic comedy than horror film, and not the cross over film some people proclaim it to be, Warm Bodies is a great date film to share with non-horror fan partners.  The movie is quite charming for the most part, and not the travesty suggested by the trailers.

The film opens with R (Nicholas Hoult) shambling about with his fellow zombies in an airport he considers home.  Through his internal monolog, we find that R has fleeting memories of being alive, though he is no longer able to act human.  He tries to have conversations with fellow zombie M (Rob Corddry), but the best they can manage is a series of grunts, unless they are hungry.

R also fears his ultimate fate is to become a “Bony,” zombies that have ripped off their skin and cast away the last vestige of their humanity.  Though R admits he will eat the living, he feels bad about doing so, unlike the Bonies.

Let the I Am Legend jokes commence!  

Still, the hunger for flesh is a powerful motivator, and R joins M and a few other zombies as the group leaves the airport to forage for food.  Around the same time, a group of humans leave their walled city in search of medical supplies.  The two groups meet and during the battle, R and Julie (Teresa Palmer) lock eyes.  Julie decides not to fill R’s skull with bullets, and R decides not to eat her.  But he has no qualms against eating the brains of Perry (Dave Franco), Julie’s boyfriend.

Through his internal monolog, R explains that eating Perry’s brain will keep his corpse from becoming a zombie, a fate he wouldn’t wish upon anyone.  But R also gets to experience a partial reconnection to humanity by reliving victim’s memories.  And this makes R fall in love with Julie. 

Disguising Julie as a newly reanimated corpse, R takes her back to the airport, where he’s decorated a plane with things that remind him of his humanity.  This includes a pile of vinyl records, allowing the movie to deliver a few musical montages while he rediscovers how to talk and becomes more human than zombie. 

All it took was owning an airplane and a decent collection of LPs to score!

Julie is curious about R’s unzombie-like behavior, but that doesn’t keep her from attempting to rejoin her human community.  During her escape, she is surrounded by group of zombies, including M.  But once R steps up to protect her, the zombie horde loses interest in Julie as a food source and let the couple leave the airport.

As the two get closer to the walled city, Julie abandons R, who heads back to the airport.  Before he arrives, R meets up with M and the other zombies that let him and Julie leave.  In some way, R’s feelings of love towards Julie infected them as well and reawakened their humanity.  Seen as a threat to the zombie hierarchy, the Bonies cast the group out and plan to kill Julie and R.

Accessing Perry’s memories, R sneaks into the human compound to warn Julie of the upcoming attack, setting up a conflict between the Bonies, the evolving zombies and the remaining humans, led by Julie’s father, Grigio (John Malkovich).

Yes, it’s a zombified version of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, complete with the balcony scene.  And as annoying that idea might seem, screenwriter/director Jonathan Levin uses only the basic plot, with enough deviations to keep things interesting.  It’s a refreshing approach when one considers the multiple monster/classic literature rewrites flooding bookstores in recent years.  And while it’s not as original as West Side Story, it works as a charming and inoffensive update much like 10 Things I Hate About You. 

I feel pretty, oh so pretty....  Wait, wrong movie.

It’s unfortunate the familiarity of the tale appears to have prompted Levin to forgo any real character development.  Thanks to his internal monolog, R is the most developed character in the movie.  While M gets a few nice moments, the script never divulges whether he (or the other zombies) has the same intellectual capacity as R.  Malkovich’s Grigio is underdeveloped and underused in the film, as if the actor’s presence is little more than a marketing ploy. 

But the most glaring problem with the script concerns Julie.  Levin never gives her enough time away from R to understand how she could fall in love with a walking corpse, other than it’s dictated by the story..  To be fair, Hoult is the prettiest zombie ever to grace the screen, and he does stop smelling like a rotting corpse as he becomes more human.  But while one could understand Julie’s curiosity over a zombie not wanting to eat her, it’s another thing to fall in love with creature that ate her boyfriend’s brains.

As for the effects, zombie fans shouldn’t expect any gore or gut munching.  Remember, this film is a romantic comedy at its core and a scene with R covered in the blood and flesh of Perry would make the thought of Julie falling in love with him an insurmountable task for the audience.  Levin does get the point across during the film’s only zombie attack against humans, but the moment is shot so we know what R is doing without wallowing in the gruesome details.

Yea, I think this gets the point across that R is looking for a quick bite.

As for the Bonies, the CGI creatures look awful.  I suspect the reason for not using actors in full body makeup is to keep the film’s creepiest zombies looking rather cartoonish, thus ensuring a PG-13 rating.  But this failing is easy to forgive once the zombie horde let by M shows off their “heart lights.”  If you’ve seen the trailer, you no doubt remember this moment, which is not only pointless to the story, but insulting to the audience as well.  The script and the actors do a fine job conveying the idea that R’s love for Julie is awaking the humanity in other zombies as well.  But Levin decided the audience is too dense, or stupid, to understand this and decided to film a roadmap in pretty neon red, rather than assume viewers were smart enough to follow his story to this point.

Despite it’s flaws, Warm Bodies is a fun evening’s entertainment.  Hoult’s performance is quite good, the script moves at a nice pace and delivers several good laughs (the bit where Julie and her friend try to make R look human has the best use of Oh, Pretty Woman in a soundtrack ever).  The script contains a few nice satirical moments and zombie fans will love the nod to Fulci, as he seldom gets any attention in modern zombie films.  And, I must admit, it was nice to see a movie end without any suggestion of an upcoming sequel.  It doesn’t mean one won’t be made, but the film closes with a welcomed certainty missing in most recent genre films.

Wait, you mean Romero isn't the only director of zombie films?

I’m not suggesting zombie fans rush out to see Warm Bodies, or pick it up as a blind buy when it hits home video.  Just keep it in mind if your evening plans include a partner that is not into the genre.  It is not a gateway film, so put aside all pretenses of digging out The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue afterwards.  Just settle back and be grateful for a film that you both can watch, and enjoy, without feeling the nausea you would experience from another Twilight knockoff.

Final Destination 2 (2003)

It surprising that three years passed before a sequel to Final Destination hit the screens, as the film earned over $55 million in the US box office.  New Line Cinema contacted screenwriter Jeffrey Reddick (who wrote the original story as a spec script for The X-Files) for ideas on where to take the sequel.  But with most of the original crew unavailable, stuntman turned director David R. Ellis (Cellular, Snakes on a Plane) was hired to shoot the sequel, from a script co-written by the team of J. Mackye Gruber and Eric Bress.    

The film opens as Kimberly (A. J. Cook) and her friends are preparing to leave for Daytona Beach for spring break.  While waiting to merge on the freeway, Kimberly has a premonition of a catastrophic traffic accident.  As with Alex in the first film, she begins to see events that will take place before the accident and blocks the off ramp to keep those behind her car from getting involved in the wreck.  Though she manages to keep the people behind her vehicle alive, Kimberly’s friends aren’t so lucky and die as a large truck smashes through her car.

This won't end well.

As the survivors are questioned at the local police station, one mentions the events on Flight 180, which happened exactly one year ago.  Dismissing the coincidental timing, the survivors consider themselves lucky for avoiding the disaster, at least until one of them dies in a freakish accident.

Convinced Death is coming for them as It did for the passengers of Flight 180, Kimberly to seek help from Clear Rivers (Ali Larter), the only living Flight 180 survivor, who has committed herself to a padded cell in a psychiatric ward.  Clear refuses to leave the safety of her padded cell, but as the death toll rises, she joins Kimberly in an attempt to break Death’s new cycle and, perhaps, taking herself off the list as well.

After several more freak accidents, the group discovers the course of their lives were altered by survivors of Flight 180 and Death is now cleaning up the mess created by Alex’s vision.  They’re only hope is to figure out the mysterious mortician’s (Tony Todd) vague statement about new life, which was not to be, nullifying Death’s new design.

So I guess I'm in the sequel, right?

Though the script contains a few nice character moments, these are quite brief.  Unlike the opening minutes in James Wong’s film, Kimberly barely interacts with her father.  Most of the other characters are various stereotypes, introduced only to keep the story moving, though this should be obvious when Kimberly and her girlfriend pick up the guys they are traveling with.  These two stoners are so out of place, compared to the girls, that it is obvious their inclusion is only so the scriptwriters can add in a gratuitous nude scene. 

It’s not to say the script doesn’t have has a few nice character moments, but the film is more intent on ramping up the gore and mayhem, and Ellis delivers on that count.  The opening accident is the best in the series, a jaw-dropping scene of vehicular carnage that might be the best car wreck ever staged for a movie.  And the ensuing death scenes are much more dramatic than the preceding film, with bodies being flattened, dismembered and impaled at a stunning pace.  And the effects, a combination of practical effects and CGI, still look sharp 10 years later.

Nope, I don't think a few stitches will help....

But the franchise starts tripping on its internal logic with this entry.  And, just to let you know, I’ll be spoiling the ending to both this film and the previous one, so consider a SPOILER ALERT in effect for the next four paragraphs.

The mortician tells the group that a new life, one that occurs because Death’s design was interrupted, might save the remaining survivors.  At first, Kimberly has visions suggesting a pregnant woman holds the key to their salvation.  But she soon discovers that the woman and her unborn child would have survived the initial accident without her intervention.  Recalling other visions, Kimberly believes her death, and resurrection, will end the carnage.  But this plot twist nullifies the ending of the original film, as Alex dies saving Clear, only to be revived off camera by the FBI agents. 

It could be argued that it wasn’t Alex’s turn to die (an idea that resurfaces later in the series), but the mortician never mentions that the new life has to occur at any particular place in Death’s new plan.  And the script offers no explanation for this discrepancy, as if the screenwriters didn’t pay close enough attention to the previous entry, or just hoped the audience would forget about that little point.

The link between this batch of survivors and the survivors of Flight 180 also seems a bit stretched.  Not that their back stories wouldn’t work, but it’s never explained why Death waited a full year to take them out at one time, rather than kill them in separate, smaller accidents.  Not only are the odds of everyone being in the same spot at the right time are pretty astronomical, but waiting so long before killing them would further disrupt Death’s master plan.  This new group is targeted because their interactions with the survivors of Flight 180 kept them alive, so one can only suspect how many other people’s fates were changed during past twelve months.

Exploring this wrinkle in the film’s final moments would make for a perfect lead into the next sequel, but the filmmakers settle for a splatstick moment that falls flat.  While the scene ties up a loose end from earlier in the film, the humor feels out of place and the buildup to the death, placing the final survivors in the right place at the right time, stretches believability to the breaking point.

Me, crazy?  What makes you think that?

Despite these quibbles, Final Destination 2 is my choice for the best entry in the series.  The opening disaster is amazing, the deaths come quick and Ellis is unafraid to splash blood across the screen.  And the action comes at such a pace that it’s easy to ignore the script’s shortcomings.

David Wong returns to the director’s chair in Final Destination 3, attempting to recapture the feelings of paranoia and tension he developed in the original.  But he also tries to match the amount of mayhem, blood and boobs Ellis delivered, and the mix doesn’t quite work.  And rather than dealing with a few minor flaws, the script delivers a few near fatal flaws in the opening disaster.  So strap in, keep your hands in the car at all times and get ready for rather dubious twists and turns.